by the hair of my chinny chin chin

i can't shave my legs

2011-12-12T13:43:00.000-08:00

Forget bothersome chin hairs for now. Ok? Done.

I can't shave my legs. It has a little to do with the fear of cutting myself trying to bend over the balloon that is currently my stomach.

J asked me if he was getting a baby sister for Christmas. Alas no! It is simply swelling due to recent surgery for another tumor, me: aka tumor farmer.

I am not really worried so much for Mr. B... His hands are pretty calloused so my lack of shaving should bring no harm to him, it's just that for nearly 30 years now I have shaved DAILY! I can't stand leg hair ...that much!!!

Any who, I have had amazing offers to bring in dinner, pick up kids, grocery shop, etc! And truth!, I am doing great. I am in less pain recovering than I was from the growth....I just can't shave my legs....safely. And I am a little shy to ask for help. ...the part of fear of being cut. I cut myself plenty on my own....I think I would be way to anxious to trust someone else with a razor and my legs.

So....I am christening the next two weeks...don't shave December. Want to join me?

Not shaving for two weeks isn't the worst part. I can't do other much more fun and important things. Google told me ;)

The doctor on the other hand, bless his 90 years of practice, said I would be back to work the next day. Good thing, being a mother I work at home. However I would have no problem telling him to his face that he's a LIAR. Can't blame him....being a MAN...and having no ovary tumor surgery of his own experience.

I am not generally mean, but seriously. What a mothers does in a days work doesn't WORK when recovering from surgery.

I am giving myself a few days....sort of.

Well, off to pick up S and C. J is a stage hand for his school play these days, so that's another trip out later, and G-did I say 17....well, he drives all on his own now. Yippee!!!?

At the very least with my snuggly soft socks on I can't tell...really...that I haven't shaved my legs. It could be worse...it could be summer!

Merry Christmas Family Party

2011-12-06T22:45:00.000-08:00

Rudolph the red nosed reindeer!

i see the resemblance!

S was a great sport!
Santa had him dancing the reindeer jig!

it's definitely going to be a Merry Christmas! ♥

me and mr. b

2011-12-06T22:44:00.001-08:00

toothday

2011-12-05T11:33:00.000-08:00

1 G minus 4 wiSdoM teEth!

The Next Survivor Series!

2011-11-28T22:13:00.000-08:00

From an email...to funny to not share! Seriously creative --- and too true. ;)

Six married men will be dropped into a “city island”
with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports
and take either music or dance classes.
There is no fast food.

Each man must take care of his 3 kids;
keep his assigned house clean,
correct all homework,
complete science projects,
cook,
do laundry,
and pay a list of 'pretend' bills with not enough money.

In addition,
each man will have to budget
enough money for groceries each week.

Each man must remember the birthdays
of all their friends and relatives,
and send cards out on time--no emailing.

Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment,
a dentist appointment
and a haircut appointment.

He must make one unscheduled
and inconvenient
visit per child to the Emergency Room.

He must also make cookies
or cupcakes for a school function.

Each man will be responsible
for decorating his own assigned house,
planting flowers outside,
and keeping it presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television
when the kids are asleep
and all chores are done.

The men must shave their legs,
wear makeup daily,
adorn themselves with jewelry,
wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes,
keep fingernails polished,
and eyebrows groomed.

During one of the six weeks,
the men will have to endure
severe abdominal cramps,
backaches,
headaches,
have extreme
unexplained mood swings
but never once complain
or slow down from other duties.

They must attend weekly school meetings and church,
and find time at least once to spend
the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.

They will need to read a book to the kids
each night and in the morning,
feed them, dress them,
brush their teeth and comb their hair by 7:30 am.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks
, and each father will be required to know
all of the following information:
each child's birthday,
height,
weight,
shoe size,
clothes size,
doctor's name,
the child's weight at birth,
length,
time of birth,
and length of labor,
each child's favorite color,
middle name,
favorite snack,
favorite song,
favorite drink,
favorite toy,
biggest fear,
and what they want to be when they grow up.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance.

The last man wins only if...

he still has enough energy to be intimate
with his spouse at a moment's notice.

If the last man does win,
he can play the game
over and over
and over again
for the next 18-25 years,

eventually earning the right to be called Mother!

bird watching is for....the birds!

2011-05-16T08:58:00.000-07:00

bugs? ...not birds :)

i LOVE living vicariously
through my children's cheerfulness!
way to be HAPPY j-10!!!

a chip clip = a birds beak
a cup = a stomach

What goes in....must come out!

got poop...er...scat?

...you can tell what a bird eats by playing with the poop!

birdie birdie in the sky...
please don't doo doo in my eye...
i wont fret and i wont cry...
i'm just happy cows don't fly!

[some things never change,
no matter the generation! :) ]

...never too big for the baby swing...

i hope! ♥

APP: caN'ts a woRd fOr qUittERs

2011-05-03T18:22:00.000-07:00

YEP! and i quit.....seriously!

pAin with a capital AAA!!! APP!

this past sundAy C-14 asked me to join her for an i-pod workout called "hurricane".... being SuNdAy i figured it would be somewhat like a sunday drive.

NOT... it was more like just this side of heck and a torture chamber.

i was watching her ability to do all the squats and crunches and who knows what they called the moves, i was in way too much pain to even care.

all i know is that you can make it look like you are doing the workout if you keep a keen eye on the other person and quickly move when they look your way.

since i had been sitting in a chair at the dining room table for a week studying for finals i figured a little workout, some stretching, getting my heart...to beat...would be helpful....again, NOT!!!

I barely crawled up the four flights of stairs to take my final bright and early MoNdAy morning!
a classmate asked me if i was okay,
i can only imagine
what she was thinking
happened to me.....

i replied back...
"oh, i got my butt kicked

by a 14 year old
and some i-pod app
called a "hurricane"!!!

Seriously, the muscles we worked out didn't even exist back in the 80's....or maybe the problem is I haven't really worked them since the 80's.

either way, i still can't walk very well, and sitting is not an option because i am completely unable to stand up without help. I feel like I need a walker to safely go to the bathroom [TMI???]

in the future I will avoid anything that sounds similar to a destructive weather pattern...i forecast that i will most certainly take a sUndAy drive rather than a little light workout.
...and truly I QUIT.....
CANT...is my word for today!!!!!!

interestingly a while back i blogged about same daughter telling me that she was

practicing her piano on her i-pod....

"she had an APP for it!!!!"

if it works to learn the piano as well as her little APP worked my butt...then I say way to go i-pod!!!!
is there nothing you can't APP these days???

doNt sPeaK tHe lAngUaGe?

2011-04-29T09:27:00.000-07:00

Teen talk, or text. I don’t speak it. It took me a few months to understand that LOL was about laughing. I was certain it was some code for “Love you Mom”. Come to find out they were laughing out loud in code.

I am a “good mom”, debatable statement I am sure, but I pay attention to my children, their friends, their conversations... (yes, I listen in when they are talking. No, I am not creepy listening in from another phone…I hear one sided conversation, my child’s side. HELLO…cell phones don’t have a second line).

I even try to read between the lines
as a “friend” on Facebook.
While I refrain from commenting on their status’s,
I do sometimes “like” them,
and thus follow the chat.

One particular conversation left me googling for definition. “Hella sketch” my son said, which apparently means something to the degree of wear a helmet; it could be a little dangerous. To which his friend replied, “sounds sick”. I wasn’t sure if that meant disgusting or flu-like possibility might be heard of. I caught that the boys were jonsen to “hit urban”. That means stay local, throw down some ski tricks ---i think? At least they were staying close to home.

As they continued to convo I learned that “scope it” does not mean fresh breath, and “hit me up” doesn’t mean anyone is getting smacked. “Fo sho” means yes, and “nagguh” is no, except when I respond “fo sho you be picking up your dirty clothes off the floor” I don’t get a nagguh…I get a blank “don’t speak the language Mom” stare.

I did understand “that’s a damper”, which soothed me that some things mean what they say. But when his friend responded “it will be ill” I was certain a get well card was in order. And when the boys say, “word, son” they are ending the conversation.

What needed to be said was said.

They “thro ish” and that is all that it sounds like. It’s ish, as opposed to ish it. I’ve heard it both ways.

I understand him about the same as I did when he was babbling as a baby boy. Still, a mother loves. Word.

man-boy don't need instructions, take 2

2011-01-28T08:28:00.000-08:00

it seems i have blogged here before. hmmmm

Tuesday night driving C-14 to piano she tells me a NEW story about boys and men and instructions...i have to share.

C-14 is now a TA for the Phys Ed teacher at her school.
She takes dance so this experience with the Physical Education teacher that G-16 absolutely adored...abhorred...uh, which was it?

Sorry ...cant remember, but you can probably guess.

Anyhow she is TAing for her and having random experiences.

There is another boy who also TA with her. Her assignments are anything from carrying a pencil around and taking notes of things, to carrying a pencil so when said teacher gets to said destination she can sign something.

Random,
anyhow...

Tuesday she was assigned to put together a desk chair. One of those fancy desk chairs with a levy to pull and move up and down...and a twisty function.

Moving on...there were TWO of these chairs,
and conveniently TWO TA's.

Of course as it is with boys and girls I smell a competition.

C-14 says something like,
"bet i can finish my chair first"

to which boy TA responds,
"i can do mine without instructions...." !

Familiar....man-boy don't need instructions.

So they each proceed to make their chairs.
C-14 reading the instructions.
Man-boy NOT.

They finish at the same time. WALAAAA!

C-14 says something to the effect of

'okay...but whose actually works.' [loosely quoted.]

Boy sits in her chair....pulls the lever...wheeeee ...it goes UP and DOWN. ...it SPINS, it TWISTS...it TWIRLS.

HIGH FIVE CECE!!!

C-14 sits in MAN-BOY TA don't NEED inSTruCtiOns chair.

K PLUNK.

the back falls off

i think we can forget the up and down feature
and "what twisty function?"

"KAPOW! Can you say INSTRUCTIONS?!!!"

how to brush up on your driving

2011-01-27T14:58:00.001-08:00

i am always looking for a good "how to"

This one is brought to you
by three BACKSEAT drivers
currently taking DRIVERS ED
at the local high school.

Me driving....
Them....talking

Me taking a left turn, briskly... because I want to turn before the oncoming car...who has time for signals.

Them....previously oblivious to my existence
other than the convenience of chauffeuring
them two block from
said local high school
front and center
to our refrigerator.

Quote: [all talking at the same time] that was illegal, you didn't use a turn signal, you are suppose to use a turn signal xxxxx distance from the turn and xxxxx seconds before you turn, which signal lets other motorists know of your intentions to turn, you can get in a lot of trouble for that, and you turned when the oncoming car was not of a safe distance. and by the way you didn't signal at the last turn either and you didn't stop for the right amount of time. if there was a police person you would be in time out for that. you can lose your license and have to take drivers school. don't you know the rules?

Me...nose rubbed sufficiently in my mistake.

[happy
they are paying attention....maybe
they will be a few of
the "safe" drivers
soon to be practicing
on a road near you.]

wOrdLeSs wEdneSdAy

2010-12-01T12:17:00.000-08:00

woRdlEsS wEdneSdAy

2010-11-17T11:14:00.000-08:00

Grandma's Hands

2010-10-15T16:05:00.000-07:00

Grandma, some ninety plus years,
sat feebly on the patio bench.
She didn't move,
just sat with her head down staring at her hands.

When I sat down beside her
she didn't acknowledge my presence
and the longer I sat I wondered if she was OK .

Finally,
not really wanting to disturb her
but wanting to check on her at the same time,
I asked her if she was OK.

She raised her head and looked at me and smiled.
"Yes, I'm fine, thank you for asking,"
she said in a clear voice strong.

"I didn't mean to disturb you, Grandma,
but you were just sitting here staring at your hands
and I wanted to make sure you were OK,"
I explained to her.

"Have you ever looked at your hands," she asked..
"I mean really looked at your hands?"

I slowly opened my hands and stared down at them. I turned them over, palms up and then palms down. No, I guess I had never really looked at my hands as I tried to figure out the point she was making.

Grandma smiled and related this story:

"Stop and think for a moment about the hands you have, how they have served you well throughout your years. These hands, though wrinkled shriveled and weak have been the tools I have used all my life to reach out and grab and embrace life.

"They braced and caught my fall when as a toddler I crashed upon the floor.

They put food in my mouth and clothes on my back. As a child, my mother taught me to fold them in prayer. They tied my shoes and pulled on my boots. They held my husband and wiped my tears when he went off to war.

"They have been dirty, scraped and raw, swollen and bent. They were uneasy and clumsy when I tried to hold my newborn son. Decorated with my wedding band they showed the world that I was married and loved someone special.

They wrote my letters to him and trembled and shook when I buried my parents and spouse.

"They have held my children and grandchildren, consoled neighbors, and shook in fists of anger when I didn't understand.

They have covered my face, combed my hair, and washed and cleansed the rest of my body. They have been sticky and wet, bent and broken, dried and raw. And to this day when not much of anything else of me works real well these hands hold me up, lay me down, and again continue to fold in prayer.

"These hands are the mark of where I've been and the ruggedness of life. But more importantly it will be these hands that God will reach out and take when he leads me home. And with my hands He will lift me to His side and there I will use these hands to touch the face of Christ."

I will never look at my hands the same again. But I remember God reached out and took my Grandma's hands and led her home.

When my hands are hurt or sore or when I stroke the face of my children and husband I think of Grandma.
I know she has been stroked
and caressed
and held by the hands of God.

I, too, want to touch the face of God
and feel His hands upon my face.

wordless wednesday: have you ever seen a baby porcupine?

2010-10-06T07:33:00.000-07:00

man-boy don't need instructions?

2010-09-22T08:08:00.000-07:00

Me: J9, you doing okay in the shower.

J9: Yep.

Me: You almost done.

J9: Nope,

it took me like five minutes
just to figure out the shampoo* today.

[*new bottle of shampoo in the shower]

...pause

Me: Everything okay?

J9: Yep, just still have to wash my body.

Me: What happened?

J9:

"It took so long just to figure out the shampooing today
I read the back of the bottle
and it said:
Wet hair.
Wash thoroughly.
Rinse thoroughly .
Repeat.

I decided not to use that one.
I didn't want to mess it up.

Too many directions."

I am trying to decide
if he could have
shampooed
just fine with that
Shampoo
if he had not
read the
instructions!!?

He is of the guy gender after all!

God's Cake

2010-06-10T08:42:00.001-07:00

Sometimes we wonder,

'What did I do to deserve this?'

'Why did God have to do this to me?'

Here is a wonderful explanation!

A daughter is telling her Mother how everything is going wrong, she's failing algebra, her boyfriend broke up with her and her best friend is moving away.

Meanwhile, her Mother is baking a cake and asks her daughter if she would like a snack, and the daughter says, 'Absolutely Mom, I love your cake.'

'Here, have some cooking oil,' her Mother offers.

'Yuck' says her daughter.

'How about a couple raw eggs?'

'Gross, Mom!'

'Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?'

'Mom, those are all yucky!'

To which the mother replies:

'Yes , all those things seem bad all by themselves.

But when they are put together in the right way,

they make a wonderfully delicious cake!

God works the same way.

Many times we wonder why

He would let us go through such bad and difficult times.

But God knows that when

He puts these things all in His order,

they always work for good!

We just have to trust Him

and eventually,

they will all make something wonderful!

God is crazy about you.

He sends you flowers every spring

and a sunrise every morning.

Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen.

He can live anywhere in the universe,

and He chose your heart.

wOrdLesS wEdneSdAy

2010-05-19T07:18:00.000-07:00

i am NOT a morning person

2010-05-17T11:49:00.000-07:00

i am not a morning person*.

*unless i am fishing

or have a camera

and

a perfectly painted sky

first to admit that i am a lousy cranky mess most mornings.

even the word morning...sounds like mourning....therefore it is grief to me. i have to wake up on my own, or at least be allowed to believe that i woke up on my own, even if such waking was nudged a little by someone poking me until i began to stir. at that point....let me be to stretch, yawn, and awaken. then i am bliss. i don't mind the sun shining in.

[heaven forbid i wake up to darkness,

that might warrant

wearing a caution sign

around my neck!]

this morning Mr. B cheerfully brings me prune juice. 6:30 am and he feels it necessary to be the bearer of bad fruit.

Seriously. so i am up.

...and i react. i make the bed, angerly.

i head into the bathroom and brush my teeth....which mistake i will pay for later....drinking prune juice is bad enough, drinking it with morning breath is better than a fresh palate expecting something delectable.

prune juice is NOT delectable.

and so I am grumpy,

and i have spent the morning pouting and reacting.

choosing an attitude

that
perpetuates

only

my own misery.

could i have just thanked him?

could i have just fallen back to slumber after smiling peacefully up at my best friend and BEST advocate for my health?

i mean really,

he was just doing what he feels is

best for my healing and my health.

he loves me....loves me not is NOT an option.

really....so now I regret.

i got up.

i asked him in about 12 different ways why he was so bent on me being awake.

did he need something?

did he just want me to stay in the habit of waking early?

was he upset that i was still lounging while he was making the lunches?

is my healing taking to long....?

finally he just looked at me,

took the glass of prune juice and drank it himself.

he wasn't trying to torture me.

he was just trying to be nice.

to make sure i had something beside my bed

when i woke up

something healthy

because he loves me

and for some weird reason

he wants to wake up next to me

for many many more mornings

mornings.....i may hate them....

but i hate WORSE

the thought of him waking up without me,

or me without him.

and so i poured myself another glass of prune juice,

drank it

and hugged him,

before heading back to bed.

GOOD morning????

yep, i suppose it was.

sUndAy smilEs

2010-05-16T11:18:00.000-07:00

Me: Hey Cece, have you been practicing your piano?

Cece: Yep, everyday,

on my ipod touch!

Me: ummmm....seriously???

Cece: Yeah,

I downloaded an app for that!

Wanna hear...?

seems there are new ways of doing

everything these days...

i wish i had an app for laundry....

Hospital Humor starring Mr. B

2010-05-15T09:25:00.000-07:00

Me: Could you take one more???
[copies of my hospital handcuff,
for lab stickers,
they took SIX,
an EVEN number,
i just wanted the lab tech
to make it SEVEN for LUCK!!!]

Lab tech: seriously???

Mr. B: Oh, she is serious.

LT: okay???

Mr. B to Lt: [aka small talk giant]
You married?

LT: yeah

mR. b: good luck with that.
we are going on near 20 years...

Me: ...of BLISS!

Mr. B: [choking] yeah,
BLISS???

When we were getting married,
I called Stacie to tell her our Phone Number,
OUR FIRST PHONE NUMBER!!!

So excited, days from our wedding...
I tell her: 582-4119

and SHE on the other line says:
"Can you get it changed???

I prefer odd numbers,
specifically
one with more
3's and 7's?"
the silence spoke chapters.

She was serious.

The phone lady
asked me if I was already married to THIS girl.
I had time to back out, she warned.

I married her anyway and it has been
well.....we are still married!

Dont worry,

I always get the LAST LAUGH!

While I was in the operating room

Mr. B sat patiently in the waiting room.

He is always good for a laugh,

no matter the circumstances.

I am pretty sure he was the only one

laughing at this one however.

Lullabies playing....babies being born,

people quietly and somberly waiting

for their loved ones to come out of surgery.

An older woman looks up,
hearing the lullaby she asks Mr. B:
Why do they keep playing that lullaby?

Mr. B responds:
They play that every time
a baby is born.
Haven't you heard,
they play
Another One Bites the Dust
when they lose one too!
That was the end of ANY
waiting room conversation for Mr. B.
[poor woman, looked down with disgust.]

He's a Keeper!

Last Laugh!
On the day to check out the Doctor
came in and said,
"well, i have never seen this before!"

He continued, "I have never seen

a patient
write 'for now' after
their spouses declaration of
husband/wife!"

Me:
Well, I like to keep my options open!
He was bugging me in pre-op,
I figured we would see how recovery went!!!

Dr.: And????
Me:
I think I will KEEP him.
He's a KEEPER!
Love you Mr. B!

are YOU on my BLOGROLL???

2010-05-14T11:59:00.000-07:00

I am updating my blog roll
and would love to add you

if you are reading
and don't see yourself on mine!!!

Let me know!

I will stop by sometime! Thanks!

she cries

2010-05-13T11:09:00.000-07:00

new journal; usually i enjoy the beginning of a new journal; the potential, the fresh, new beginning.

today, however, is different. everything is changed now.

as i wrote in a new book today the process was poignant, bittersweet. this is a new book/chapter, for me and my family, in our lives.

i am recovering from having a hysterectomy.
[there, i said it].

wednesday was the day, 5/5/10. 11:11 AM was the time when they came to tell me it was time.
and i began to weep.

i had been so strong going into this; so brave.

in an instant, a moment, everything about that changed. my brave face wore off and i had to discover if i really had courage.

as they wheeled me back, i knew that nothing would soothe the empty ache i was about to face.

i really had done all i could to be prepared for this; prayers, blessings, coming to terms with facts, and acceptence. acceptence in body, mind, and spirit.

i forgot raw emotion.

i was okay until the charge nurse came in to go over everything, the papers, the details. i had asked questions,signed papers, put on the hospital handcuff in a statement that i would stay. i agreed with everything that was asked of me, i felt calm and peaceful

the blow that came next knocked the wind out of me and i have yet to catch my breath.

the nurse handed me one final paper. 'this one' she states 'clarifies that you of your own free will are choosing sterilization.'

i must have looked confused, i didn't take the paper from her like i had the others. she saw my

hesitation and further explained, 'it states that you are here by your own account and opting to have a surgery that will leave you unable to bare children.'

i said to her, 'are you serious?'

she put the paper on a clipboard in my lap.

i looked at B. this was a cruel joke.

'what?' i asked.

she simply said, 'in order to have the surgery you need to sign it stating you understand it is elective surgery. it is your choice.'

at this point tears are welling up in my eyes.

i don't get it.

all this time i have been advised to have the surgery, it is not something i picked.

the policy, she continues to explain, is that a woman has the choice no matter her condition and that signing the form makes it clear that i understand i will no longer be able to concieve and carry a child.

inside i feel like i am writhing, i try to look at B through my tears, i can not bring myself to put my signiture, my name, on that piece of paper.

'WHY', i ask her, i don't get why i have to sign it.

i didn't choose this, to suffer pains and growths and other symptoms that make daily life difficult at best. this surgery is to alleviate all that. to make my quality of life, of motherhood, better.
it is not optional, or elective. i came willingly, isn't that enough.

i can't bring myself to sign it. suddenly all the courage i had is used up and i feel completely out of control in pain, agony, confusion.

simply the hospital requires a patient to acknowledge awareness of the choice and the understanding that it would make me sterile. such horrible words, and thoughts, zapping the strength i had stored to endure this peaceably.

NO, my head and heart were screaming, children, unborn, those hoped for, prayed for, pleaded and ached for that place within me. oh, the sorrow that i was feeling.

'Do i really have to sign it?' i hear myself ask her.

suddenly i feel the finality of the decision become mine. B says, "no, you dont, we can leave", he sits nearer to me, and i feel myself signing, without even looking. as if in denial. it is done.
a weeping begins, which weeping of heart will never cease.

it becomes blurry to me, suddenly i am no longer crying in b's arms,but weeping on the gurney.

i found interesting metaphore that they put me into a bed, carefully lifting the sides, tucking me in, a warm blanket, under the covers so soothing, brians hand on my head, i feel like an infant in a crib, like the babies i will not have, the bed becomes a womb for me, my only piece of physical security left in that moment, all other stripped away from me as we walk away from the waiting room where B was left behind.

one kiss, one caress of my forehead, a look of love, concern and sorrow as our eyes met, the last time we are together while i am whole.

the further we go the more it feels like a suicide to my motherhood, i can't get it out of my mind that i chose this. the confusion, my heart wont hear what my head can't make sense of.

i weep harder the closer we get the more sterile the environment.

sterile, like i will be.

people are walking like robots. going through the motions. i become a number, a room number, a patient number. no longer a being, heart and soul. i look like everyone else, in my cap and gown, yet so different, i am still weeping.

the orderly parks me in patient parking. it is quiet. it strikes me that now i really am a stranger in a territory whose customs are unfamiliar to me. their ways don't align with mine today.
then i don't feel with me anymore.

people are asking this poor weeping woman if she is okay, i feel so seperated from who i am. and then i hear it, the lullaby; a sound i will dread hearing over the next few days. each time a new baby is born in the hospital they will play it.

now people are asking me if i am sure i want this surgery. did i sign the paper?
'this paper' they say as they show it to me. i see my signature. i do not respond right away.
a woman asks, 'are you sure you don't want any more children?'

all the wrong questions. she explains if i am feeling apprehensive maybe i should reconsider, it can not be reversed.

i feel so helpless, i know they don't mean harm but i feel like they are bullies on the playground. they have found my weakness and keep taunting me.

i could be ninety,would they ask me the same things. i know i can't have more children, it has been 9 long years of wishing, of praying, of hoping....that somehow it would just happen because that was God's will for me. i know it is not, i know that nothing would change if i said no today, we still would not have more children. i recognize my blessings, all four of them. i want to live for them, for me. not just alive, but LIVE with quality and patience, healthy and pain free.

i look at the anesthesiologist and beg him. 'i am ready, please just get me to sleep.' i don't want to feel what i am feeling anymore, please. from the darkness of this moment will come light, i need it to move forward.

i wake up, sort of. i hear someone crying, wailing really. people are trying to soothe her. she is inconsolable. she is writhing in pain, truly wailing. oh, how i want to comfort her. to tell her it will all be okay. she sounds so desperate, if loss were a sound she is making it. the crying is so disturbing and it is hard for me to relax. i hear people saying that she needs to be taken to a room. i think no, bring her to me. i will hold her. and then i see brian, and he is telling her it will all be okay...then i realize the sounds of anquish are coming from me. from my emptyness, a pit of despair.

there goes that song again, why do they have to keep playing it. i continue to cry, calming each time to be reawakened in grief by a lullaby.

i find comfort in Mr B's voice, his hand, the look of desperation on his face for me to be okay. i find peace in his patience. allowing me to feel the grief, and caring about where it came from. i am made whole because he loves me...even when pieces of me are missing, even when i am broken. even when i lack courage, lose a brave face, always when i cry, when i cry at night.

wOrdLesS wEdneSdAy: hApPy mOthEr

2010-05-12T11:02:00.000-07:00

Tell it Thursday!

2010-05-06T06:52:00.000-07:00

J upon discovering this
in Mr. B's cache of stuff
from his childhood!

"Mom, is this what cell phones were
like in the Olden Days???"

Try to put THAT in your pocket! LOL

wOrdLeSs wEdneSdAy

2010-05-05T06:53:00.001-07:00

whaT HE sAid!

2010-04-30T09:45:00.000-07:00

HANDY LITTLE CHART
GOD HAS A POSITIVE ANSWER:

YOU SAY

GOD SAYS

BIBLE VERSES

You say: 'It's impossible'

God says: All things are possible

( Luke 18:27)

You say: 'I'm too tired'

God says: I will give you rest

( Matthew 11:28-30)

You say: 'Nobody really loves me'

God says: I love you

( John 3:1 6 & John 3:34 )

You say: 'I can't go on'

God says: My grace is sufficient

(II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)

You say: 'I can't figure things out'

God says: I will direct your steps

(Proverbs 3:5- 6)

You say: 'I can't do it'

God says: You can do all things

( Philippians 4:13)

You say: 'I'm not able'

God says: I am able

(II Corinthians 9:8)

You say:'It's not worth it'

God says: It will be worth it

(Roman 8:28 )

You say: 'I can't forgive myself'

God says: I Forgive you

(I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)

You say: 'I can't manage'

God says: I will supply all your needs

( Philippians 4:19)

You say: 'I'm afraid'

God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear

( II Timothy 1:7)

You say: 'I'm always worried and frustrated'

God says: Cast all your cares on ME

(I Peter 5:7)

You say: 'I'm not smart enough'

God says: I give you wisdom

(I Corinthians 1:30)

You say: 'I feel all alone'

God says: I will never leave you or forsake you

(Hebrews 13:5)

order of BE YOURSELF to go, please!

2010-03-19T07:44:00.000-07:00

I was sitting at a stoplight, minding my own business, finishing up a Snickers bar for breakfast, and on my way home from taking the kids to school this morning when suddenly the car next to me began to go. Of course all my instincts were to follow, LUNGE and move forward with the car next to me.
I was so busy in my Snickers Bar that I failed to look for myself.

After an abrupt stop partially into the intersection I looked behind me and to both my sides.
The car behind me had followed me....and
seeing my MISTAKE
he was snickering with the car next to him....

"look at THAT driver", I imagined him thinking.
Probably on the phone...painting her nails,
putting on mascara, eating a SNICKERS!!!!

I was sure that he was just picking me apart for my mistake.
In that moment the whole world could see me
in my underwear as far as I was concerned.

Thankful that it wasn't a worse scenario I decided to suck it up and just let him laugh....likely he wasn't thinking any of the things that I was thinking about myself.

I am so good at that.
...thinking the worst of myself,
and thinking that others
are thinking the worst of me well.

It is common for me to see what others are doing and think,

"okay, so that is what I SHOULD be doing, right?"

Then typically I remember that I have never done what I think others think I should be doing, and I really have generally cared less if others think I am right or I am wrong.

I live by the live and let live motto.

I know that 90% cases I would be absolutely miserable to force myself to be LIKE that person, or to have their LIFE.

I enjoy mine, I am satisfied with being ME,
and I make my decisions from the gut.
Generally and most often I am very content with the decisions I make,
they don't always turn out for the best,
but they are my decisions...
thus, happiness,
thus, peace,
thus, continue moving forward...

And that goes well for today's thought.
Today I had an epiphany.
Another epiphany,

a new realization....a very physical one.

Had I moved completely forward further into the intersection the outcome of my mistake in following the person next to me would have and could have been tragic. It was a BUSY BUSY intersection. People are scurrying to work and to school, and I would have been IN THEIR WAY.

The outcome would have been: Mother of four, seriously maimed this morning while eating a snickers bar. She chose to follow the person next to her and it wasn't her path, wasn't her right of way, and she is suffering devastating consequences, consequences that now effect those lovely children she had just delivered to school.

Had I followed the person next to me I would have had to turn RIGHT. That person was headed in a DIFFERENT direction then I needed to go. The right direction for them but NOT the RIGHT direction for ME. Their path did not lead to my home.

My Home Sweet Home.
Where I WANT to BE!

I am just thinking....but what I am thinking is this is bigger than just looking for yourself and choosing for yourself when you are driving.

This is looking for the right things in your life, not your neighbors, not your best friend, your sister, your brother, your mom/dad/grandpa...

This is choosing for yourself after seeing all the choices and knowing in your gut that what you are choosing is right for you.

Today, I want a
SUPER SIZED order
of BE MYSELF/BE YOURSELF....to go!

I don't want to lose my life
trying to live someone elses ways.

I want to have
good ideas
and direction,
and momentum,

inspiration,
and GUT instincts

that what I choose for myself is okay FOR ME!!!

I want my own satisfaction...
not someone else's!

I don't want to be in a four alarm disaster ...

i don't want to BE A
FOUR ALARM DISASTER!...

a consequence of thinking it was time to go
and right for me
because the person next to me did.

I want to be me.

Live and LET Live,

and cEleBrATe our differences.

If God wanted one personality he would have stopped with Adam. Obviously he had a better idea...and created EVE!

And the rest.....is up to [me] and you!

Yes...being ME Satisfies!

it's BOX ELDER BUG season!!!

2010-03-18T12:20:00.001-07:00

J arrived home from school
before the rest of the children today.

a bit of mommy alone time on the agenda

The weather is perfect and so we
hung outside a bit...

kids are so amazing
they always notice the
LITTLE big THINGS in life!

Like the Crocus in bloom!
Happy early Spring Day!

...and "MOM, ITS BOX ELDER BUG SEASON!!!"

[i would have to say this is MUCH more
exciting than MARCH MADNESS!]

..."and the Bumble Bees are back to make us some honey!"

i am hanging on to his youth,
so i don't lose mine!
♥

TeLL mE ThuRsDAy about WoRdLEsS WeDnEsDaY

2010-03-18T07:40:00.000-07:00

wordLESS wednesDAY!!!

At my sisters house for Sunday Family Dinner

Seriously Unfortunate Question

Mr. B: When did they start making
TOY
Pregnancy Tests?

and SILENCE! fell upon the room.

The End!

wordLESS wednesDAY!!!

2010-03-17T10:27:00.000-07:00

wAy-bAck whEnDsdAy - happy birthdy LUCKY Lucy!

2010-03-17T09:17:00.000-07:00

See her Lucky Clover neckercheif ☺

We got our kitty
Lucky
Lucy
Lew Lew
about 7 ish...years ago.

I wanted another baby,
instead Mr. B got me a kitty!

We adopted her around St. Patrick's Day
and have since celebrated her
Birthday on St. Paddys Day!

She is a bit spoiled,

[will only drink fresh water
from the faucet...]

and purely sweet.

For her Birthday celebration
she gets a bowl of milk
with Temptation treats!

YUMMY!

That's about as GOOD as it gets!

top 'o th' morning...Happy St. Patricks Day!!!

2010-03-17T07:36:00.000-07:00

Silly Leprechaun...
leaving such a MESS! ☺

kiss me...i'm irish!

There ARE trick questions!

2010-03-15T14:53:00.000-07:00

there are trick questions

...including the ones your kids ask you after school.

J--almost 9: does soap have wine alcohol in it?

Me: no, it has rubbing alcohol ...sometimes

J: is it the same that you can get drunk from?

Me: no, it is not

J: is it poisonous?

Me: yes, and you should never drink rubbing alcohol

J: so you could die from it?

Me: I suppose.

J: Mom, remember when you use to put soap in our mouths.

Me: ummmmm...Jeremy, you know I wasn't trying to kill you.

J---ALMOST 9: sure Mom

[at least he doesn't know enough to turn me in to DCFS yet,

...or does he?]

If you can't say something nice...

2010-03-15T10:46:00.000-07:00

[...and other lessons learned!]

WARNING: BITTER DIATRIBE AHEAD

DISCLAIMER: generally writer is not affected by DST*,...

[hence attitude]

*which truth causes reaction to be an
intensely bitter and harsher diatribe than
to be expected from thus writer.
please read at own risk.
i wrote it that way...

PS: I am officially IN TIME OUT for the day...I have gone to my room under direct orders from the head of the house: ME.

And I will stay there
until I can change my attitude
and filter my commentary.
This could take a while.
blessings everyone ♥

cont:

IF YOU CAN'T SAY SOMETHING NICE...

and other lessons learned.

This morning I am not sure I have a nice thought in my thunder. I CANNOT believe it is almost noon and I am sitting in my holiest pants...

Mr B to me about 4 hours ago:

You realize you have
holes in your jeans?

Of course I only answered him
with: 'the look'.

Yes, I have holes in my jeans, and I am rebelling against the morning hours by wearing them. If you want me up, take me as I am. I have business under the covers to attend to otherwise.

Sleep is still calling my name today.

Daylight Savings Time.
I am sure it was a grand idea, but if the farmers want to get up an hour earlier, or go to bed an hour later, or work longer...why can't they do that without involving a CLOCK!

[truth: i am so confused at this point
I don't know
WHAT TIME IT IS.]

When the sun is up, the sun is UP!
Does it really need to be anymore complicated than that?

[No farmers have been harmed here,
all farmers have been taking a bad rap for this
long enough,
they are tough skinned,
and I am certain they can handle it.

PS: I come from a long line of farmers
so I do feel I can speak for the breed.]

I suppose I could sound like a picky complicated ranting maniac today...but WOW. What a MOURNING!!!!

[PUN totally intended.]

I LOST AN HOUR.

A beloved hour.
An hour that had
so much potential
that I am certain nothing
in this world can fulfill it.

At first I went into this years DST with an attitude that needed some major adjustment.

Couldn't afford the adjustment,
so I am just left with the attitude.

I know that when you expect trouble, you beckon it.
I suppose that is why I am still stuck with the attitude.

It started out all in fun:

REBEL AGAINST DST
...be an hour late to EVERYTHING
until they change the time back!!!

Sounds simple and harmless!!!

Like everything simple
and harmless

POISON PREVAILS

and in the form of my
further heightened
BAD attitude
IT HAS!!!

My comments are caustic and poisonous and surely not G-rated!
I feel like I went to bed last night and woke up this morning violated....An hour was STOLEN from me during the night....was it last night...the night before...I am so tired I can't even figure that out for sure.

I have a solution for DST:

If we have to lose an hour
why can't it be on MONDAY
during the middle of the WORK DAY!!!!

This morning as I was mourning my loss, OUR loss....I cracked open a can of DP to my husbands comment...."BREAKFAST IS SERVED! "

after the pants comment
his head was about to be served

Served a dish of
get the kids up
and fed
and off to school
by yourself today!!!

I am going back to bed.

I suppose that I have gotten to my point:

"If you can't say something nice
...talk about the weather!"

So....How is the weather???

I said what I meant when I meant what I said. I am rebelling!

Movie Quote Monday

2010-03-08T07:30:00.000-08:00

so much to ponder...

Mo'Nique:

"Sometimes you have to go against
the popular...to do what is right."

Mary from Precious
[while accepting her Oscar, 2010]

Morgan Freeman in Invictus:

"We must exceed our own expectations."

and finally:

Sandra Bullock accepting her Oscar

[following from about minute three]

"Everyone who showed me kindness
when it wasn't fashionable.

The moms that take care of
the babies and the children
no matter where they come from.

Some moms and parents never get thanks.

I have failed to thank one.

So ...If I could take this moment

to thank Helgabee...

Thank you for not letting me get into cars with boys until I was 18 because she was right I would have done what she said I was goona do...

For reminding her daughters that there is no race, no religion, no class system, no color, nothing, no sexual orientation that makes us better than anyone else.

We are all deserving of love,

for that trail blazer
that allowed me to have that

[points to husband Jesse]

...and this..."

Contemplate this:
If you wrote an acceptance speech,
who would you thank,
what would you say?
For in that moment,
all that is you
all that you are
...becomes!

wOrdLeSs WeDneSdAY

2010-03-03T14:24:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday Sam I Am!!!

2010-03-02T06:29:00.000-08:00

Today is Dr. Seuss's birthday- he would have been 106.

A person's a person, no matter how small.
-Dr. Seuss

Be who you are and say what you feel,
because those who mind don't matter
and those who matter don't mind.
-Dr. Seuss

Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.
-Dr. Seuss

Sometimes the questions are complicated
and the answers are simple.
-Dr. Seuss

"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go..."
-Dr. Seuss

and my new favorite:

"I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind.
Some come from ahead and some come from behind.
But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see.
Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!"
-Dr. Seuss

Dr. Seuss shares his birthday
with my favorite Sam!!!!

Happy #11!

Great pet owner.

Helping his daddy, and Grandpa's cherry tree.

Grandpa and Grandma by the horses.

Loves Horseback riding and DOGS.

Snowboarder.
Skateboarder.
Basketball and Football.

loves FISH LAKE and fishing!
Let's his sister take creative liberty's with him in plays.

Shares his day with Dr. Seuss and Uncle Aaron.

Soccer player.

They share the same birthday,
and a love for Green Eggs and Ham!

That Sam I Am ...that Sam I Am!!
♥ I do so LOVE that Sam I Am ♥
Happy Birthday Buddy!

a FEAST for my FAMILY

2010-03-01T10:05:00.001-08:00

To get why I am writing what I am going to write you would have to read where I became inspired today: Leftovers, by Stakerz Xposed.

The day Bronson nearly drowned a friend of mine told me to PRAY for Bronson.
I prayed for Bronson, but I prayed harder for his Mother, and his Father.

And I prayed even harder for Me.

Don't get me wrong here.
I didn't pray for me because I was being selfish.
I prayed for me because I realized that I was letting my kids drown.
...

I felt an overwhelming pain and guilt and shame,
that in such a equal lateral way
I had done what she was suffering.

I had walked away when my kids were in the middle of something.
Something really important to them.
Something crucial to their well being.
Something that needed attention.

I had become distracted thinking that
what I was going to do was so important.

...So necessary.

In that moment...mattered MORE.

Blinds that needed to be dusted.
Blinded me from what was really important.

Floors that needed to be shined,
over-shadowed the shine I could create
in my children's eyes.

Clothes that needed to be washed,
seemed more critical than the
cleansing of my families soul.

I get distracted, by so many things,
be it physical, mental, emotional...
worldly pains, worldly aches
turmoils that stirred a tsunami in me.

It seemed that there were so many things
...keeping me distracted.

And so, the end of January, beginning of February,
I found myself consumed with these feelings.

Feelings of inadequacy,
of turmoil that I was doing
THINGS
that kept me from what was
really important....

What MATTERED MOST!

And today, those THINGS that MATTER are clearer to me.
And as I read her blog post on Leftovers....I got it!

I too give Leftovers....

Quote:

How often in life am I giving those that matter most, my Leftovers?

These boys, who are my heart and soul,

often get whatever is '"Left-over" of me

whenever I think I am done with the rest of my commitments.

They get the little blob of energy that's left of me,
after running around all day.

A cold slab of minimal effort,
because I just want to be done already.

The crumbs that are left of my patience.

(Well, any that haven't already crumbled
from dealing with other people's children.)

And if they are really lucky,

I might even top it off
with the tiny little dollup of fun
that I might actually have left.

But more often than they deserve,

they get the frantic,
task-oriented Drill-Sargent Mom
who is running short on time.

Or the exhausted,
Do-It-Yourself Mom who is ready to collapse.

I am not beating myself up. I am just pondering. I know that I am doing better today than yesterday. I know that I have come a great distance from my past, and yet I have learned through forgiveness to see my past as a blessing, a direction and framework for the best future that I could possibly have. I am thinking...I like to do that.

And sometimes I do my best thinking here. Because it feels a bit accountable. Someone will read it. Sometimes it is only one person, and she gives me wonderful advice. Yet, it feels like I am not alone.

When I leave it here it makes me naked;
in my thoughts, and my feelings,
and I know in a worldly sense I am not alone,
and I remember that in a spiritual sense I am NOT alone.

So...today, I celebrate the beginning of March!

...I MARCH forward, offering my Family a FEAST of me. May I have the desires and strength to GIVE more of me to them, in every day, in every way, and give it peacefully and with a sense of fulfillment that what I am doing is what MATTERS MOST!

A WOMAN'S WEEK AT THE GYM

2010-02-17T14:11:00.000-08:00

A WOMAN'S WEEK AT THE GYM

This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get
into a regular workout routine.

Dear Diary,
For my birthday this year, my Husband (the dear) purchased a week
of personal training at the local health club for me.

Although I am still in great shape since being a high school
football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go
ahead and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer
named Christo, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor
and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.

My husband seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The
club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

________________________________
MONDAY:
Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it
was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Christo
waiting for me. He is something of a Greek god - with blond hair, dancing
eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!

Christo gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed
watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after
my workout today. Very inspiring!

Christo was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was
already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is
going to be a FANTASTIC week-!!

________________________________
TUESDAY:
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door.
Christo made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then
he put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I
made the full mile. His rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel
GREAT-!! It's a whole new life for me.

_______________________________
WEDNESDAY:
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on
the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a
hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer
or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.

Christo was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered
other club members. His voice is a little too perky for that early in the
morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY
annoying.

My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Christo put me on
the stair monster. Why the heck would anyone invent a machine to simulate
an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Christo told me it would help
me get in shape and enjoy life. He said some other crap too.

_______________________________
THURSDAY:
Butthole was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as
his thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help
being a half an hour late - it took me that long to tie my shoes.

He took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I
ran and hid in the restroom. He sent some skinny witch to find me.

Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.

_________________________________
FRIDAY:
I hate that jerk Christo more than any human being has ever hated
any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic,
anorexic little aerobic instructor. If there was a part of my body I could
move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it.

Christo wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps!
And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the darn barbells
or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.

The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition
teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or
the choir director?

________________________________
SATURDAY:
Satan left a message on my answering machine in his grating,
shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing his
voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked
the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven
straight hours of the Weather Channel.

________________________________
SUNDAY:
I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can
go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year
my husband will choose a gift for me that is fun --

like a root canal

or a hysterectomy.

I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have
sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!

Just a Mom...

2010-02-04T07:42:00.000-08:00

A woman, renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk 's office, was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation.

She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.

'What I mean is, ' explained the recorder,
'do you have a job or are you just a ...?'

'Of course I have a job,' snapped the woman.

'I'm a Mom.'

'We don't list 'Mom' as an occupation,
'housewife' covers it,'
Said the recorder emphatically.

I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself
in the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall.
The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised,
efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like,
'Official Interrogator' or 'Town Registrar.'

'What is your occupation?' she probed.

What made me say it? I do not know.
The words simply popped out.
'I'm a Research Associate in the field of
Child Development and Human Relations.'

The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair and
looked up as though she had not heard right.

I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words.

Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written,
in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.

'Might I ask,' said the clerk with new interest,
'just what you do in your field?'

Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice,
I heard myself reply,

'I have a continuing program of research,
(what mother doesn't)

In the laboratory and in the field,
(normally I would have said indoors and out).

I'm working for my Masters,
(first the Lord and then the whole family)

and already have four credits
(all daughters).

Of course, the job is one of the
most demanding in the humanities,
(any mother care to disagree?)

and I often work 14 hours a day,
(24 is more like it).

But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money.'

There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.

As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career,
I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3.

Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model,
(a 6 month old baby) in the child development program,
testing out a new vocal pattern.

I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy!

And I had gone on the official records as someone more
distinguished and indispensable to mankind than 'just another Mom.'

Motherhood!

What a glorious career!
Especially when there's a title on the door.

Does this make grandmothers
'Senior Research associates in the field of Child Development and Human Relations'
And great grandmothers
'Executive Senior Research Associates?'
I think so!!!
I also think it makes Aunts '
Associate Research Assistants.'

woRdLEsS WEdnEsDay ♥

2010-02-03T12:41:00.000-08:00

Sunday Smiles - Pinewood Derby Edition

2010-01-31T16:44:00.000-08:00

Mr. B smiled with J
on our way to impound the car.
It has been a lot of work, a lot of Father and Son time together, and the big day is almost here.

J smiles as his car weighs "just right."

Pinewood Derby

S smiled with bleary eyes. He had gone to the Jazz Game with his Junior Jazz team Friday night, and then for Pizza afterwards at the Gateway. It was a MIDNIGHT night for him.

7 am comes really early....

The boys smiled while they ate their camp-like breakfast.

...G brilliantly came up with eating his food in alphabetical order from now on.
He ate the waffle first...then the Fruit and then the Ham....wait...

ME: WAFFLE starts with a W...
G: It's not a waffle, it is an EGO!

HELLO!!!

We smiled as we checked out the competition.....

...intense moments are for smiling on the inside...
Cece and Aunt Colleen smiled so I could document their early morning beauty.
If only we all could be so lucky...

Smiling...

S is smiling as he and J watch for their face-off.

...Does S know something J doesn't???

J's car wizzes by!!!

J's car didn't even make it down the track the first few times.
It took a LOT of pit crew work to get it going....LONG STORY there...
However, it did finally make it, and even though it lost to S's car
it made it through the gate!

I sighed....and SMILED!!!

It's time for Grudge Matches....Is Lady going to bring it this year?

...or will it be my newest competitor...
"Ducty" [sounds like ducky!]

Ducty was supposed to be a beautifully
carved American Flag...

The Flag was not working out.
At Midnight when the boys came home
the night before Pinewood Derby
while I was lovingly putting on the
finishing touches---
it failed....miserably.

So what does a woman do
when something is not working out,

FIX IT!!!

With Duct Tape...

...and a little bling!

J smiled when he challenged Ducty to a race against "Art", lovingly known as CTR.

Art was another of my cars from when I was Primary President. Mr. B generally had too much time into the boys cars, so mine were typically blocks of wood, painted with a sharpie marker.

ie, The cheese car..."Say CHEESE!"

I smiled when Art got stuck right in front of me....

Ducty won, hands down...

Art has obviously had better years!

I smiled when S challenged ol' Lady to a race against Slitherin GT, his car from last year. Ducty had already kicked Slitherin's butt....so knowing Lady's reputation was on the line he challenged her for the title!

S smiled because Slitherin WON!
Looks like Lady has had her reign
and there is a new Sheriff in town!!!

To make this official he challenged Ducty.
She gave him a run for his money....and in the final leg lost by about an inch!

Looks like Slitherin GT is the car to beat next year...
back to the drawing board for me!

[should note that Ducty
looks great with her BLING on.]

We all smiled when J's car "UNO" WON the competition for being

The Most Pimped OUT Car! Way to go J and Dad.

You couldn't wipe the smile off his face.

Cookie Crisp was his TROPHY!
I smiled because someday he will feed his kids this cereal
and he will tell them about his FIRST Pinewood Derby!!!

S smiled because his brother won, and that was good enough for him.
...besides, he kicked both his mom's cars butts....who wouldn't smile about that!

...and later:

Mr. B took J out for a day of errands.
They talked about Mr. B's first Pinewood Derby car.

He was 8 or 9 and built his car by himself.
He walked to the Stake Center for the race.
His car didn't make it down the track.
It got stuck, just like J's.
Mr. B didn't have anyone there to help him out,
so he just got his car, and walked back home.

Mr. B felt so bad that J's car had gotten stuck.
Something about trying something new this year with the wheels and axils, and then the metal track with the gaps didn't go well together.

J told Mr. B., "It's okay Dad that it wasn't fast, we didn't care about that, we just wanted it to be the BEST looking, and it was. It WON the Best Pimped Car!"

After some big hugs he went and got the extra Pinewood Derby box so that he could help his daddy make a car for next year. Taking after his mom he used Sharpie Markers and a Fingernail file for sanding...!!!

"This will be Dads car next year,
and it will be the fastest Mom."

With a child's faith it probably will...

J smiled all afternoon while he worked on his car "smilie".

He named his car Happy!

...and who wouldn't be with a heart like that.

The Yaya Sisters...

2010-01-21T08:00:00.000-08:00

If I were really writing about the Yaya sisters in book form it would be entirely different than what follows.

I love the movie/book.
It is a hard one for me, yet....great reflection.

This, however, was in my inbox today from my mom, and whatever mood I was in before dissipated upon digestion....ENJOY!

Be sure to read
the diet at the end.

The Yaya Sisters

AND REMEMBER:
GOOD FRIENDS

ARE LIKE STARS .

YOU DON'T

ALWAYS SEE THEM,

BUT YOU ALWAYS KNOW
THEY ARE THERE!!!!!!

my New Years diet

Breakfast
1 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast
1 cup skim milk

Lunch
1 small portion lean, steamed chicken
1 cup spinach
1 cup herbal tea
1 Hershey's kiss

Afternoon Tea
1 The rest of the Hershey Kisses in the bag
1 tub of Hagen-Diaz ice cream with chocolate chips

Dinner
4 glasses of wine

(red or white)
2 loaves garlic bread
1 family size supreme pizza
3 Snickers Bars

Late Night Snack
1 whole Sarah Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from the freezer)

Remember:

Stressed spelled backward

is desserts.

If you delete this message, you will gain 10 pounds immediately...
That's why I had to pass this on, I didn't want to risk it.

Handle every stressful situation like a dog…
Pee on it and walk away

Wordless Wednesday ♥

2010-01-13T11:42:00.000-08:00

Ten Tips For Surviving 2010

2010-01-12T08:56:00.001-08:00

1. Stay out of trouble.

2. Aim for greater heights.

3. Stay focused on your job.

4. Exercise to maintain good health.

5. Practice team work.

6 Rely on your trusted partner
to watch your back.
Take your time trusting others.

7. Save for rainy days.

8. Rest and relax.

9. Always take time to smile.

and

10. Realize that nothing is impossible.

THE SENILITY PRAYER :

Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do,
and
The eyesight to tell the difference.

email forward.
source unknown.

When You Thought I Wasn't Looking

2010-01-08T19:49:00.000-08:00

When You Thought I Wasn't Looking

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my
first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately
wanted to paint another one.
When you thought I wasn't looking

I saw you feed a
stray cat,

and I learned that it was good to be kind
to animals.