tough it out

well, thats not working well.

i have been trying to
tough some things out
for far too long
now.

you ask:
how are you?

i reply:
i'm fine, i'm great,

all is well, swell, perfect,

sometimes just okay.

and truth, i am fine, i am great, all is well,
or pretty well, sometimes swell,
not quite perfect, close to it in many aspects,
and
generally i am okay.

i mean, i have an abundance
of gratitude,
and my attitude reflects gratitude

[for the most part :?]

and happiness,
and even
laced with some cheerfulness.

plus i am good at smiling
and pasting on a happy
face.

i save my complaints and my whining for my kids and mr. B.

really.
poor
people who have to hear
all to many times
that i don't feel good,
i am stressed,
i have too much NOT done and i am freaking out.

yep, that sounds about
right!

this diatribe
is not meant to make
anyone feel they have to
swoop in fix anything.

we don't really have anything that needs fixing.

we don't need dinners, maids,
therapists....haha...now I sound
a little
pathetic.

like: relationship issues, i am fine,
i don't need anything,
etc...
when i am really dying inside
for you to read my mind
and there are a
billion things
you could be doing differently.
haha. really, that is NOT what i
am intending here.

i just need to write.
writing heals
me.
i have about 100 journals
to prove that my writing process
is
cathartic,
and i have years of
personal social improvement
to show that i do
overcome.

i just need to say it out loud.
we have been toughing it
out,
and where it all looks fine
it really is harder than i am showing
it.

so, when i broke down a couple weeks ago
and started talking about
how we are really doing....first in prayer,
then to random people who asked
"how
are
you?"
....help arrived.
in the form of peace,
and interesting phone
conversations,
and direction to some helps that can
really help us.

and then prayer again,
thanking Him
for more blessings in
abundance.

we really are going to be okay.
we are pretty tough actually,
and all will be well.
thanks for asking!

i can't shave my legs

Forget bothersome chin hairs for now. Ok? Done.

I can't shave my legs. It has a little to do with the fear of cutting myself trying to bend over the balloon that is currently my stomach.

J asked me if he was getting a baby sister for Christmas. Alas no! It is simply swelling due to recent surgery for another tumor, me: aka tumor farmer.

I am not really worried so much for Mr. B... His hands are pretty calloused so my lack of shaving should bring no harm to him, it's just that for nearly 30 years now I have shaved DAILY! I can't stand leg hair ...that much!!!

Any who, I have had amazing offers to bring in dinner, pick up kids, grocery shop, etc! And truth!, I am doing great. I am in less pain recovering than I was from the growth....I just can't shave my legs....safely. And I am a little shy to ask for help. ...the part of fear of being cut. I cut myself plenty on my own....I think I would be way to anxious to trust someone else with a razor and my legs.

So....I am christening the next two weeks...don't shave December. Want to join me?


Not shaving for two weeks isn't the worst part. I can't do other much more fun and important things. Google told me ;)

The doctor on the other hand, bless his 90 years of practice, said I would be back to work the next day. Good thing, being a mother I work at home. However I would have no problem telling him to his face that he's a LIAR. Can't blame him....being a MAN...and having no ovary tumor surgery of his own experience.

I am not generally mean, but seriously. What a mothers does in a days work doesn't WORK when recovering from surgery.

I am giving myself a few days....sort of.

Well, off to pick up S and C. J is a stage hand for his school play these days, so that's another trip out later, and G-did I say 17....well, he drives all on his own now. Yippee!!!?

At the very least with my snuggly soft socks on I can't tell...really...that I haven't shaved my legs. It could be worse...it could be summer!

toothday

1 G minus 4 wiSdoM teEth!

tooth day take 2...or 4

two children....four wisdom teeth (each)...not so wise to have back to back surgery. 
one week apart...one weak mother trying to heal them! 

lucky for me

i have really great kids.

wisdom teeth

take two

or four...teeth! 

our little chipmunk 8;

Merry Christmas Family Party

Rudolph the red nosed reindeer!

i see the resemblance!

S was a great sport!
Santa had him dancing the reindeer jig!

it's definitely going to be a Merry Christmas! ♥

me and mr. b

The Next Survivor Series!

From an email...to funny to not share! Seriously creative --- and too true. ;)

Six married men will be dropped into a “city island”
with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports
and take either music or dance classes.
There is no fast food.

Each man must take care of his 3 kids;
keep his assigned house clean,
correct all homework,
complete science projects,
cook,
do laundry,
and pay a list of 'pretend' bills with not enough money.

In addition,
each man will have to budget
enough money for groceries each week.

Each man must remember the birthdays
of all their friends and relatives,
and send cards out on time--no emailing.

Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment,
a dentist appointment
and a haircut appointment.

He must make one unscheduled
and inconvenient
visit per child to the Emergency Room.

He must also make cookies
or cupcakes for a school function.

Each man will be responsible
for decorating his own assigned house,
planting flowers outside,
and keeping it presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television
when the kids are asleep
and all chores are done.

The men must shave their legs,
wear makeup daily,
adorn themselves with jewelry,
wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes,
keep fingernails polished,
and eyebrows groomed.

During one of the six weeks,
the men will have to endure
severe abdominal cramps,
backaches,
headaches,
have extreme
unexplained mood swings
but never once complain
or slow down from other duties.

They must attend weekly school meetings and church,
and find time at least once to spend
the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.

They will need to read a book to the kids
each night and in the morning,
feed them, dress them,
brush their teeth and comb their hair by 7:30 am.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks
and each father will be required to know
all of the following information:
each child's birthday,
height,
weight,
shoe size,
clothes size,
doctor's name,
the child's weight at birth,
length,
time of birth,
and length of labor,
each child's favorite color,
middle name,
favorite snack,
favorite song,
favorite drink,
favorite toy,
biggest fear,
and what they want to be when they grow up.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance.

The last man wins only if...

he still has enough energy to be intimate
with his spouse at a moment's notice.

If the last man does win,
he can play the game
over and over
and over again
for the next 18-25 years,

eventually earning the right to be called Mother!