Mary Poppins Tao

Okay, awake and remembering what "seeds" were planted in me yesterday.

The tao was to wake up with a better "attitude". I woke up with a sweet husband, memories of our evening together. The very loud Homecoming party the University was having.

Boys waking up at 930 because the music was blaring so loud. J-7 wanted us to tell the party to go to bed. Instead, we shut the windows, and turned on some music for them in their room. I woke up to their music still playing. Be still, my soul....

Okay, why the Mary Poppins. As I was doing the dishes this morning, (the dishes I wouldn't let Mr. B finish last night because I wanted to take a walk with him up to the Homecoming party...the blaring music...and just enjoy the evening and his company)...dot, dot, dot...

Mary Poppins...in our kitchen (where I was doing dishes) my kids have posted the song from the movie, with a plea to us, Mom and Dad. It goes:

If you want this choice position,
have a cheery disposition,
Rosy cheeks, no warts!
Play games, all sort
You must be kind, you must be witty
Very sweet and fairly pretty
Take us on outings, give us treats
Sing songs, bring sweets
Never be cross or cruel
Never give us castor oil or gruel
Love us as a son and daughter
And never smell of barley water
If you won't scold and dominate us
We will never give you cause to hate us
We won't hide your spectacles
So you can't see Put toads in your bed
Or pepper in your tea
Hurry, Mommy! Many thanks
Sincerely, the kids! ♥

Okay, so that sums it up. I am humming this in my head this morning, hoping for a better day with myself. Never be cross or cruel....if you wont scold and dominate us...

I will be nice, I will be patient, I will filter the things that are in my head before my mouth reveals my weaknesses. I am the mother.

Although I frequently remind my kids that they had the choice to come to me, and they knew very well what they were getting themselves into. They must know something I don't.

Ready to learn, ready to nurture the seeds that I have within me.

--me
'Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...
It's about learning to dance in the rain'

if looks could kill

I thought that I would have a few weeks to think about this new calling, but no....there I was with the twins, my niece, my four children, G's friend, and three neighbor kids, squished into the front row at church....and somehow holding it together because we were singing today as a family....when they released me as Primary Chorister and sustained me as Relief Society 1st Counselor. Okay, so if looks could kill.......

Wednesday

Do you get tired of hearing about my Wednesdays?

Another busy Wednesday. I figure this is hump day, the middle of the week, the beginning of the week is restful, and the end of the week is as well. Wednesday makes me think positively about the rest of my week. It makes me think about how if we don’t struggle through things in life we don’t appreciate the good as well. Because of Wednesday, I enjoy my entire week.

growing up, no, not me, the kids!

It felt weird to get up today without the kids and go off to school. I am thankful that it is only temporary. I am not ready for the kids to be gone; life is so full with them. I really appreciate this and other opportunities I have had to be “home alone” and realize that I wouldn’t trade all the frustration and chaos for anything. This will come alone all too soon and even then I will be wishing I could go back. I am learning to enjoy them here and now. They already have grown so fast and I am sad that so much of life has passed by. I missed them as little people discovering everything new, but I love them now, and just hope the future comes along good and slow!

What to do?

I figured it out! The kids are out of school on break this week and I am not. I had changed the whole schedule so that they could go with their aunt to the cabin overnight, so that I could still go to my classes, which made our Tuesday crazy. I never even thought of something yesterday to be positive about. I don’t think I really had a chance to think.

So for yesterday and today, the positive thing is that when you are in the moment of a hurried, blurried, situation, there always comes a break. Just pushing through will bring you to something new and oft times better. I have a couple of days now to really catch up and have some quiet time to get my homework done and focus on a few things that I have wanted to do. I always miss the kids, but they return like a storm. Today is a day for me.

getting a B and a bomb at the library

Well, I didn’t fail, but I got a B, which is pretty much unacceptable for me.

I know that I need to work on my expectations of myself. Part of my responsibility for this is that I didn’t sleep at all last night. My brother, Jake, and I stayed up to 2:30 am watching movies and chatting. Then when I went to bed, Mr. B woke me up and said I need to talk. We talked till dawn.

I still thought that I could pull it off, with my test, but I missed all the easy questions and one was simply because I didn’t add correctly. I could not believe it. The professor told me not to worry about it, he even said I could still get an A out of the class, with four more tests (and you can retake two of them), but I was still disappointed because I have too high of expectations.

Jake told me not to worry about it because I will end up some day having professors who refuse to give A’s no matter how hard you try, and he said I should think of how worth it it was to talk to Mr. B because things are definitely getting better. He is right.

I also had an amazing time with him and have an idea for a magazine article from the seminar last night. I love writing.

The positive note today is that we happened to be down at the library during the bombing on the third floor. The kids were stunned, and Jake and I still have a hard time believing it happened, but we were all fine. We heard it and immediately Jake said, hey let’s get going. We didn’t know what had happened, so we just took the elevator to the top and walked down. By the time we did they had been evacuating the whole building. The kids were scared getting in to the elevator, and in hindsight, that wasn’t such a good call. S-7 sat on the floor and held his knees to his chest; I could tell he was near tears. I just grabbed his hand and told him all was well. It took us one hour to get around the block to go home once we got into the car. Crazy business, but the positive thing today, we are all well.

G-almost 12 had a soccer game. It was good to drive out there. The sunset was phenomenal. We stopped at the an old factory to take pictures. G's team won their game, he was so syked (is that a word,...really?).

i only take half the days

Today J-6 had a hard time going off to school.
I woke him to get ready and he said to me,
“You signed me up for half days,
I only have to go half the days of school,
I don’t have to go today.”

I really laughed, now understanding
what he said to his teacher yesterday,
“No, No, I only take half days.”

Last year I was talking to him about taking full day kindergarten
and he said no way, now I get it.

If I had a choice I think I would take half the days too.


Today was busy. I had to do a room parent orientation after school from 3 – 4 pm. The kids have piano lessons from 4 – 5:30, then we have scouting after that to get to. It was such a busy day and then homework on top of that. I am not really getting my Math class at all, and can’t find time to study. I am getting really discouraged. And my 7 year old is crying when I drop him off to school, not wanting to go. Usually he is such a happy student. I am not sure what to do. Also, Mr. B is working late hours suddenly and it just feels overwhelming.

today

Today I woke up feeling really ill….not normal sickness symptoms. I had a full day planned, class, PTA meeting, pick up kids from school, clean and pack, fly to Arizona with my oldest son. I ended up in a doctor’s appointment and found that I have a tumor growing. The positive thing I guess is that it wasn’t all the other scary things that I was worrying about and I can still go to Arizona for the weekend.