Monday, February 25, 2008

Remember when...

Go along with me here. I remember when I was little I did something REALLY seriously BAD, and I knew I was going to get it. I thought that if I spent the entire day in the bathroom, going to the bathroom, I would avoid corporal punishment in the form of a good spanking. To no avail. My dad came home several (felt like 10) hours later, and walked right into the bathroom, gave me a good whopping (bare buns and all) and walked right back out. I hadn't avoided anything.

SO here I am, minding my own business. Rebelling and avoiding any conviction to my beliefs, (besides the raising my children in the very way I wish I had been raised), but only doing it for them.... WHY do I get asked to serve in the Relief Society.

I will tell you why. Because our kind Father in Heaven is willing to reach into the very depths of our own hell and personally grab us by our failings, and suffering, and lift us up. I may bark about it, but my bite isn't anything.

I am thankful for very dear friends who know what is best for me, when I don't know I need a licking. For their very willingness to love me through my self-defeating behavior, and give me the gumption to rise above my insecurities and grow where He would have me.

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on marriage

'Will you, um, marry me?' I haven't seen you in weeks! You don't look happy or excited about the prospect of our marriage! You're asking me to give up my - my freedom, my joie de vivre for an institution that fails as often as it succeeds? And why should I marry you anyway? I mean, why do you wanna marry me? Besides some bourgeois desire to fulfill an ideal that society embeds in us from an early age to promote a consumer capitalist agenda?