Monday, December 12, 2011

i can't shave my legs

Forget bothersome chin hairs for now. Ok? Done.

I can't shave my legs. It has a little to do with the fear of cutting myself trying to bend over the balloon that is currently my stomach.

J asked me if he was getting a baby sister for Christmas. Alas no! It is simply swelling due to recent surgery for another tumor, me: aka tumor farmer.

I am not really worried so much for Mr. B... His hands are pretty calloused so my lack of shaving should bring no harm to him, it's just that for nearly 30 years now I have shaved DAILY! I can't stand leg hair ...that much!!!

Any who, I have had amazing offers to bring in dinner, pick up kids, grocery shop, etc! And truth!, I am doing great. I am in less pain recovering than I was from the growth....I just can't shave my legs....safely. And I am a little shy to ask for help. ...the part of fear of being cut. I cut myself plenty on my own....I think I would be way to anxious to trust someone else with a razor and my legs.

So....I am christening the next two weeks...don't shave December. Want to join me?

Not shaving for two weeks isn't the worst part. I can't do other much more fun and important things. Google told me ;)

The doctor on the other hand, bless his 90 years of practice, said I would be back to work the next day. Good thing, being a mother I work at home. However I would have no problem telling him to his face that he's a LIAR. Can't blame him....being a MAN...and having no ovary tumor surgery of his own experience.

I am not generally mean, but seriously. What a mothers does in a days work doesn't WORK when recovering from surgery.

I am giving myself a few days....sort of.

Well, off to pick up S and C. J is a stage hand for his school play these days, so that's another trip out later, and G-did I say 17....well, he drives all on his own now. Yippee!!!?

At the very least with my snuggly soft socks on I can't tell...really...that I haven't shaved my legs. It could be could be summer!

Sunday, December 11, 2011


1 G minus 4 wiSdoM teEth!

tooth day take 2...or 4

two children....four wisdom teeth (each)...not so wise to have back to back surgery. 
one week weak mother trying to heal them! 

lucky for me
i have really great kids.

wisdom teeth
take two

or four...teeth! 
our little chipmunk 8;

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Merry Christmas Family Party

Rudolph the red nosed reindeer!
i see the resemblance!

S was a great sport!
Santa had him dancing the reindeer jig!

it's definitely going to be a Merry Christmas! ♥

me and mr. b

Monday, November 28, 2011

The Next Survivor Series!

From an funny to not share! Seriously creative --- and too true. ;)

Six married men will be dropped into a “city island”
with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports
and take either music or dance classes.
There is no fast food.

Each man must take care of his 3 kids;
keep his assigned house clean,
correct all homework,
complete science projects,
do laundry,
and pay a list of 'pretend' bills with not enough money.

In addition,
each man will have to budget
enough money for groceries each week.

Each man must remember the birthdays
of all their friends and relatives,
and send cards out on time--no emailing.

Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment,
a dentist appointment
and a haircut appointment.

He must make one unscheduled
and inconvenient
visit per child to the Emergency Room.

He must also make cookies
or cupcakes for a school function.

Each man will be responsible
for decorating his own assigned house,
planting flowers outside,
and keeping it presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television
when the kids are asleep
and all chores are done.

The men must shave their legs,
wear makeup daily,
adorn themselves with jewelry,

wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes,
keep fingernails polished,
and eyebrows groomed

During one of the six weeks,
the men will have to endure
severe abdominal cramps,

have extreme
unexplained mood swings
but never once complain
or slow down from other duties.

They must attend weekly school meetings and church,
and find time at least once to spend

the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.

They will need to read a book to the kids
each night and in the morning,

feed them, dress them,
brush their teeth and comb their hair by 7:30 am.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks
and each father will be required to know

all of the following information:
each child's birthday,
shoe size,
clothes size,
doctor's name,

the child's weight at birth,
time of birth,
and length of labor,
each child's favorite color,
middle name,
favorite snack,
favorite song,
favorite drink,
favorite toy,
biggest fear,
and what they want to be when they grow up.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance.

The last man wins only if...

he still has enough energy to be intimate
with his spouse at a moment's notice.

If the last man does win,
he can play the game
over and over
and over again
for the next 18-25 years,

eventually earning the right to be called Mother!

Thursday, June 23, 2011

wAy bAck wHen -esDAy ♥

nuff said!
their childhood....makes me delight!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Frantic Friday: Until we meet again...

Things have been shaky at our house. Well, maybe not shaky....but I am really behind in school, the kids have been sick, missing about 3-5 days of school each, with the weekend involved....I was able to ward off becoming as sick as them, but not feeling too top of the world myself.

So, I missed Manic Monday, Terrific Tuesday, Wordless Wednesday...Tell me Thursday....and Funny actually

I am frantically trying to catch up with my behind....

So, I transcribed this talk [a while back], it is AMAZING. I am not done with it so it will leave you hanging....

if you choose to read it...otherwise ....just say hello, that little commenty thingy at the bottom, and I promise I will make time to come say hello back.

Missing you, hoping your well.

I open my email, and you don't write, you don't call, you are just out trying to stay on top of your, hey, if it is not a problem, say hello. Then I know you were here, and I can come by your place.

Enjoy: oh, and HAPPY FRIDAY....

When All Eternity Shook:
Finding Hope and Healing in the Saviors Sacrifice
S. Michael Wilcox

This is mainly for me. I have been listening to this on tape but have to return it to my Grandfather and so here I am listening to it and taking notes, via blogger, so that I can refer back to them.

Wilcox begins by talking about fears. We all have them, some of the things we are so afraid of are really things that the chance of that happening is so small. He tells statistics of the things that we are afraid of and having something happen to us.

The thing that he is most afraid of is Roller Coasters, never been on one. Dying at an 1 in 70 million, but he has still never ridden a roller coaster.

He then tells the major fear he has, and many members of churches feel this. The fear of failure. The fear of missing the Celestial Kingdom. The fear of missing by inches, not miles, not yards, but inches..

He said we tend to have B plus personalities. He always tried really hard to get A's. But taking tests and writing papers and getting B pluses. On papers, on tests. Teachers would say, great job. But it didn't make him feel any better.

He said he imagines himself standing with the Lord and hearing "Mike, great effort." B plus. His saying, but Lord, I wanted the A. And the Lord saying. I know, and you tried really hard, and I have a lovely kingdom for
B plus people.

A quote by Michaelangelo:

"Despite thy promises oh lord twood seem too much to hope that even love like thine can overlook my hopeless wanders." [loosely quoted]

2 Nephi chapter 4...he wants to delight in the things of the Lord.

We all have that feeling. We want to be good because we rejoice in his goodness.

But then we have nagging tugging anxiety.

"Oh retched man that I am.

My heart sorroweth because of my flesh.

My soul greiveth.

My sins beset me.

My heart groaneth because of my sins.

Never the less, I know in whom I have trusted."

Sometimes we miss that last aspect. We forget to trust in that great goodness of Christ.

If you have come to the knowledge of the goodness of God. The Atonement.

Salvation comes to him who puts his trust in the Lord. Come to the knowledge of his love for us. The goodness of God endureth continually.

Blessed are ye who continue in my goodness.

When someone is going through a trial or problem it is our tendency to say I understand. Sometimes when we say we understand we say it even when we have not been through the trial or the problem. But we say "I understand" because we think we know. We hear people respond to us at times, "Do you really." How could you. You haven't been through my trial. Sometimes we have been through the circumstances so we can really say, I understand, because we have been through that kind of trial. There are two kinds of understand. Sympathy and empathy. Which kind of I understand has the Savior?

His understand was defined and personalized. He understands in the second way. He understands because he went through the pains, the trials, the infirmities, afflictions, temptations, death. He also knew joy, and love, and peace, and laughter. He was righteous and he experienced the greatest, and he experienced the worst, for us, that he would truly understand what we experience.

The added dimension of His goodness came because he himself had been through them, to know all that we would go through. [He speaks of Alma and Pauls writings of the Savior taking on everything, that he might be merciful to us.]
He could have understood it spiritually, but he chose to understand it physically, and mentally, and emotionally. He suffered, he was tempted.

He is able to succor those who are tempted because he does know. He knows our temptations, our infirmities.

To succor means to run to aid. That is our part. We have to choose to RUN to his AID.

We have to come boldly to the grace he offers. The throne of grace. That we may obtain mercy. How can we come to him?

Fan of CS Lewis George McDonald. George McDonald, a minister in the protestant faith. He was preaching a God that was too good, too kind, and was fired by his congregation. Something that George McDonald said in his book Unspoken Sermons. In that little book he tells us how we can boldly come to his grace.

He talks of how an earthly father would love a child coming to him in such sadness. "daddy, I have been so naughty. and I want to get good" He says, the father is not going to say to the child, humbly coming to him in his pain, "Go away, how could you. Go and be good and then come to me." He says no, if a child comes to a father, he doesn't send him away, feeling bad for his mistakes.

He says of our God that he would love us, no matter our anger, our frustration. If we come to him.

He talks about doing his dissertation. He speaks of a friend who said to him in his tremendous anxiety: YOU WILL OBTAIN YOUR PHD. He says that a friend told him that he would not let him go into the defending of his dissertation until he was ready to do it, until he knew that he was going to pass.. That he would make sure and work with him until he was ready and knew that he would not fail. That when he went into that room that he would be ready, and he would not let him fail. He says, I will not stop helping you.

The Savior says, I understand the things that you are going through. And I will not stop working with you until I know that you are ready for me to present you to our Father. He will be pleased with you. Now, go and learn, and live and grow, and do it without fear and anxiety. I will help you. You will be ready.

He has been very interested in introductions. He talks about the introduction of our Savior. He talks about how we introduce ourselves to others is how we want them to see us.

The Savior introduced himself: I am the light and the life of the world. I have drunk out of the bitter cup which he has given me. I have suffered the will of the father in all things.

The Savior wants us to know that he has drunk from the bitter cup. Here is where his understanding came.

He talks about the bitter cup, visualize it. The cup of trembling. The Savior speaks of the cup in D and C 19. I God have sufffered these things that ye might not suffer. I have suffered and trembled and bleed at every pore.

When we drink something bitter the body shakes and trembles. He once gave his children a cup of viniger to drink, that they might understand tremble and shake.

The Savior speaks of the bitter cup as he prayed in Gesthemene. The bitter cup was so much that he asked the Father to take it from him. If it is possible.

We pray the same way. God, this is too much, please take it from me. But then do we say...thy will be done.

Thou canst do all things, we say. Please take away this trial.

What about: Father if thou be willing, but nevertheless thy will be done.

Sometimes we hope that God wants what we want. Like when a child goes to a parent and says, this is what I want. I want you to give it to me. But the parent knows better. The parent knows what is best for the child, what is best in the long run, the bigger picture.

When Christ said, "I thirst", the soldiers gave him viniger. I looked for some to take pity. But there was none who did. He then said, "Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit." And then he died.

Wilcox then talks of the sacrament. The water we drink. Each week. And at the sacrament table each week we are offered the symbols of the Savior through the sacrament.

The bread reminds us of the resurrection. The cup of water is to remind us of the spiritual death, which Christ overcame.

Once when Wilcox was feeling retched and he took the sacrament and he heard the spirit say to him, Always REmember Him. He tried to feel more grateful. He heard the spirit say, ALWAYS, he said I do, I feel grateful. Then he heard the spirit say to him, ALways Remember Him in Hope. He said that was a beautiful moment. We must remember Him in Hope. Each time that we take the sacrament we must remember that it is Hope that we are showing.

The sacrament is a testimony. It bears witness that Jesus is the Christ. Every Sunday is testimony Sunday. Every time that you take the sacrament you show that you believe that Jesus truly is the Savior, that he can heal us, that you have faith in the Atoning sacrafice, and healing that comes of Christ.

Enoch says it best in Moses [ch. 7]: There was not a soul that he decerned not. The spirit has the ability to comprehend that all the inhabitants of the earth are greater than the sands of the sea. Moses tries to understand Gods heart and mind. He asks God why he is weeping. Why does he weep over the suffering of a few people. He is answered that he weeps over us because we are his children. He weeps for our suffering. The suffering of GUILT. The suffering of the recipients of the sins of others. The Lord tells ENoch. That which I have chosen has fled before my face. The Savior will suffer for their sins until they return to me. Until they ask for forgiveness, and seek repentence.

The Lord spake unto Enoch and told him of all the doings of men and he saw the guilt and the weakness of men. And Enoch saw that all Eternity Shook. Eternity overflowed with love, compassion, forgivness.

To try to comprehend all the wickedness of the earth. All the doings of the children of men. Their suffering, their guilt, their temptations. And the Savior had much compassion and mercy.

Questions from women at Time out for Women. It was a crushing experience for me to hear their questions:

In a crowd of 1500 women there was a great deal of pain:

A husband who was given a blessing by priesthood holders that he would overcome his illness, and he died. Where is my faith? Was my faith lacking?

What can you do to build trust in a relationship where trust has been broken so many times before: Why does my husband keep secrets from me?

They say that the most valiant came and were chosen to come and live with good mormon families, why was I not valiant enough? Why was I chosen to live with a family of abuse and addiction? Does that mean I wasn't as good because I was born into an alchoholic family and was abused as a child?

Should there ever be secrets kept from your husband, things that you have repented of, things from the past, things you want to forget, that he doesn't know about?

How do you stand alone with a baby, with a husband who will not attend? Every Sunday is a fight, it is so hard.

My husband is excommunicated, what do I tell my kids when their dad can't take the sacrament on Sunday?

My husband and I are in a cycle that happens every year. I am tired of the cycle, the addictions, the pain, the blame. How do I know when he is truly ready to end the cycle? And not just saying to make it better for a time.

Is it more harmful to divorce him and raise the children as a single parent?
I am ready to leave.

How do we as women help our husbands who are struggling with pornography without being a nag or a spy or making things worse for them, or ignoring the problems?

How do you give your child a good start to life when you are stuck in the despair of your?

I married young in the temple, had children, and am trying to live a righteous life? I struggle with whether I made the right decision with my marriage. Will the Lord forgive me? Can He make it right?

on and on the questions came:
I found out after years [40] of marriage that my husband had many affairs. I am trying to make it right. How do I forgive him, can I, is it possible under these circumstances?

Those are just a few of the questions from those women. I have to believe that the Latter Day Saint people are as good as any of the people on earth. That small group of women and if you magnify that to what the Savior experienced.

That was such a crushing experience to hear their sorrow, their pain. That was such a small experience to what our Savior experienced as he knew ALL our pains, of all the world.

If I could have in that moment I would have solved all those womens pains. I didn't know how to solve them.

There is a song by Neil Diamond. I always visualize that it is about those moments after Christ died. The believers were leaving. It is called Dry Your Eyes.

Take your song out. It's a new born afternoon.
If you can't recall the singer, can you recall the tune.

He taught us more about living.
He came to know the secret.

It was more than
It was less than being free.

And then he talks about a moment. This lyric hit right to the center of Christ.

Through the lightening and the thunder, the darkness, their was a distance falling stranger...

Darkness, distant falling angel.

The Savior said to Moses: I am the rock of heaven.

He tells us how big that rock is. As broad as eternity. He that shall climb up by me shall never fall.

The rock we can build our life on is the rock of compassion and mercy.

There are times in our lives that we see someone we love suffering. We know this with our loved ones. Our husbands, our children, our wives. At times we wish that we could suffer for them. We wish that we could take their pain upon us. We are not allowed to do that for them.

There was only once that it was allowed that our suffering was taken from us. In Gesthemene. It has already been done. From remove this cup from me to let me drink it for them.

We must have gratitude to our Father, for him allowing the Savior take our pains.

Gesthemene is the place of the deepest gratitude.

The Lord knew we would need constant encouragement.

When we are encompassed by temptation seek to understand these scriptures:

Matthew Chapter 18, the man who owed 10,000 talents. The man fell and said Lord, be patient and I will repay thee. The Lord of that servant was patient and the Lord forgave all.

Then in Luke 7. The debtor and creditor. We worship a God who can forgive us of ALL our sins.

Luke 17: When asked about forgiveness the Savior taught that when someone trespasses us that we must forgive them, and if they trespass them 7 times in a single day, we must forgive them 7 times in that single day, every single day. If he turns to you and says forgive me, even 7 times in a single day. FOrgive him.

We know that we can go to the Lord 7 times a day and ask forgiveness and he will forgive us.

I thank my God that he has taken away the guilt of my heart. We worship a God who forgives all our sins. such a beautiful book. He was married to a woman who was not faithful. He talks about this woman who forgot her husband and was beautiful for her lovers. The Lord says what should we do. What should the husband do? The Lord says that he will go to the woman and he will in loving kindness and in mercy go to the woman, and he will betrowth her. Then the teaching goes to teach about the parent and the child. The father holds the arms of the child and teaches them to walk. That he guides the child and teaches the child.

I am God, I will love and teach and recieve my people.

Wilcox talks about Camelot and the betrayal of the husband and wife. He talks about how he forgives Guinevere and Lancelot for their betrayal, he says to them. I am not a man, I am a king. I can not destroy that which I love, and he continues to forgive them for their dishoner. As a king, he opens his arms wide and forgives again and again.

Though your sins be as scarlet, they will be white as snow.

There in the church are too many pink people. Who don't believe that the Lord can make their sins white. They say, maybe he can make us pink. Maybe close, but not all the way. We forget that he can make us WHITE. And pure. He forgives us.

Think of the parable of the Lost Sheep, the Lost Coin, The Prodigal Son.

Rejoice with me, I have found my sheep. He has joy more for one sinner which has repenteth. There is constant joy in the 90 and 9, but the one sinner which does repent and return to him he has the most joy.

The real you is you at your best.

There are people in the church who have not had the best past. These people just want to come home, they just want to be thy servant. They do not return from inactivity to be kings, but servants. In the prodigal son the man recieves his son as a son, and he is recieved as a son, not as a servant. He receives him because he was lost and is found. We worship a God who loves us so much. A god who loves and forgives us, always.

The Lord is patient, merciful.

So great is his mercy for us. He removes our transgressions before him. He knows us, he understands, his mercy is everlasting. He forgiveth all iniquitites, he heals all dieseses.

A personal experience that he shares, really my favorite part is as follows:

He talks about how he feels that he should share the gospel. He feels uncomforatable because he knows he should talk about the gospel. He flies a lot and he feels that he should share the gospel with those he sits next too. When he flies and no one sits next to him he is relieved. But then he feels guilty that he is relieved. So he is never comforatable when he flies. Once when he was flying no one sat next to him and he was feeling comforatable and relieved, then guilty for feeling that way. He had a moment of reflection, a pondering.

A pondering where he felt the Lord was teaching him. He felt that he was in the judgement seat, and that he was sitting with the Lord. He said he knew he was going to be judged, but it felt comforatable.

The Lord asked him the first question, "Mike, did you proclaim the gospel." I thought, oh he would start with that one. And I said, "Lord, I tried."

The Lord said, "Well, let's see." And there was a little screen between us and we watched my life. He began to show me all the efforts that I had made to proclaim the gospel. All the good things that I had done. Every great conversation. Then, the Lord turned to him and said, "Mike, did you proclaim the gospel."

I said, very sheepishly, "Yes." ANd then all my failures entered my mind and I said Lord, but you didn't show me my failures. THe Lord said, "Tell me your failures." I told him. I should have this and that. I could remember my failures all so well. He listened patiently and he said. "I don't remember that." I looked at him in amazement, I couldn't believe it.

Then he asked, "Mike, Did you redeem the dead?"

I said, "Lord, I tried."

He said, "Well, lets see."

He showed me all the things that I had done from filling out my first pedigree chart in cub scouts, to temple work.

Then he said, "Did you redeem the dead?"

I Said "Yes, but you didn't show me my failures. I should have researched better, I should have done more work, I should have tried harder."

He listened again very patiently. "I don't remember that."

Then he asked, "DId you perfect the saints?"

I said, "I tried"

He said, "Well, let's see."

THen he showed me every calling I ever had, everything I had done for my neighbors, my fellow men. Every home teaching assignment even when I had done it on the 30th of the month."

Then he asked again, "Did you perfect the saints?"

I said, "Yes, I tried, but again you didn't show me my failures."

The Lord said, "Tell me your failures."

I told him all my failures, all the times I could have tried harder, I could have called one more time, I could have home taught better, I should have been more diligent. I should have served better.

He said, "I don't remember that."

On and on the questions came.

Did you follow the brethren. Did you try to be a good husband, a good father.

"I tried, Lord."

"Well, Lets See."

He showed me all the positive things I had done.

But what about my failures.

"Tell me about your failures."

ANd the great relief in unburdening them.

ANd his final wonderful words, "I don't remember that."

"In that moment on that airplane, something of the great goodness of the Lord was revealed to me."

there is more to this talk,
but with much on my mind...this frantic Friday...
i will leave to ponder this!

Monday, May 16, 2011

bird watching is for....the birds!

bugs? ...not birds :)

i LOVE living vicariously
through my children's cheerfulness!
way to be HAPPY j-10!!!

a chip clip = a birds beak
a cup = a stomach

What goes in....must come out!
got can tell what a bird eats by playing with the poop!

birdie birdie in the sky...
please don't doo doo in my eye...
i wont fret and i wont cry...
i'm just happy cows don't fly!

[some things never change,
no matter the generation! :) ]

...never too big for the baby swing...
i hope! ♥

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

APP: caN'ts a woRd fOr qUittERs

YEP! and i quit.....seriously!

pAin with a capital AAA!!! APP!

this past sundAy C-14 asked me to join her for an i-pod workout called "hurricane".... being SuNdAy i figured it would be somewhat like a sunday drive.
NOT... it was more like just this side of heck and a torture chamber.

i was watching her ability to do all the squats and crunches and who knows what they called the moves, i was in way too much pain to even care.

all i know is that you can make it look like you are doing the workout if you keep a keen eye on the other person and quickly move when they look your way.

since i had been sitting in a chair at the dining room table for a week studying for finals i figured a little workout, some stretching, getting my beat...would be helpful....again, NOT!!!

I barely crawled up the four flights of stairs to take my final bright and early MoNdAy morning!
a classmate asked me if i was okay,
i can only imagine
what she was thinking
happened to me.....

i replied back...
"oh, i got my butt kicked

by a 14 year old
and some i-pod app
called a "hurricane"!!!

Seriously, the muscles we worked out didn't even exist back in the 80's....or maybe the problem is I haven't really worked them since the 80's.

either way, i still can't walk very well, and sitting is not an option because i am completely unable to stand up without help. I feel like I need a walker to safely go to the bathroom [TMI???]

in the future I will avoid anything that sounds similar to a destructive weather pattern...i forecast that i will most certainly take a sUndAy drive rather than a little light workout.
...and truly I QUIT..... my word for today!!!!!!

interestingly a while back i blogged about same daughter telling me that she was
"she had an APP for it!!!!"

if it works to learn the piano as well as her little APP worked my butt...then I say way to go i-pod!!!!
is there nothing you can't APP these days???

Friday, April 29, 2011

doNt sPeaK tHe lAngUaGe?

Teen talk, or text. I don’t speak it. It took me a few months to understand that LOL was about laughing. I was certain it was some code for “Love you Mom”.
Come to find out they were laughing out loud in code.

I am a “good mom”, debatable statement I am sure, but I pay attention to my children, their friends, their conversations... (yes, I listen in when they are talking. No, I am not creepy listening in from another phone…I hear one sided conversation, my child’s side. HELLO…cell phones don’t have a second line).
I even try to read between the lines
as a “friend” on Facebook.

While I refrain from commenting on their status’s,
I do sometimes “like” them,
and thus follow the chat.

One particular conversation left me googling for definition. “Hella sketch” my son said, which apparently means something to the degree of wear a helmet; it could be a little dangerous. To which his friend replied, “sounds sick”. I wasn’t sure if that meant disgusting or flu-like possibility might be heard of. I caught that the boys were jonsen to “hit urban”. That means stay local, throw down some ski tricks ---i think? At least they were staying close to home.

As they continued to convo I learned that “scope it” does not mean fresh breath, and “hit me up” doesn’t mean anyone is getting smacked. “Fo sho” means yes, and “nagguh” is no, except when I respond “fo sho you be picking up your dirty clothes off the floor” I don’t get a nagguh…I get a blank “don’t speak the language Mom” stare.

I did understand “that’s a damper”, which soothed me that some things mean what they say. But when his friend responded “it will be ill” I was certain a get well card was in order. And when the boys say, “word, son” they are ending the conversation.

What needed to be said was said.

They “thro ish” and that is all that it sounds like. It’s ish, as opposed to ish it. I’ve heard it both ways.

I understand him about the same as I did when he was babbling as a baby boy. Still, a mother loves. Word.

Friday, January 28, 2011

man-boy don't need instructions, take 2

it seems i have blogged here before. hmmmm

Tuesday night driving C-14 to piano she tells me a NEW story about boys and men and instructions...i have to share.

C-14 is now a TA for the Phys Ed teacher at her school.
She takes dance so this experience with the Physical Education teacher that G-16 absolutely adored...abhorred...uh, which was it?
Sorry ...cant remember, but you can probably guess.

Anyhow she is TAing for her and having random experiences.

There is another boy who also TA with her. Her assignments are anything from carrying a pencil around and taking notes of things, to carrying a pencil so when said teacher gets to said destination she can sign something.


Tuesday she was assigned to put together a desk chair. One of those fancy desk chairs with a levy to pull and move up and down...and a twisty function.

Moving on...there were TWO of these chairs,
and conveniently TWO TA's.

Of course as it is with boys and girls I smell a competition.

C-14 says something like,
"bet i can finish my chair first"
to which boy TA responds,
"i can do mine without instructions...." ! don't need instructions.

So they each proceed to make their chairs.
C-14 reading the instructions.
Man-boy NOT.

They finish at the same time. WALAAAA!

C-14 says something to the effect of
'okay...but whose actually works.' [loosely quoted.]

Boy sits in her chair....pulls the lever...wheeeee goes UP and DOWN. SPINS, it TWIRLS.

C-14 sits in MAN-BOY TA don't NEED inSTruCtiOns chair.

the back falls off
i think we can forget the up and down feature
and "what twisty function?"

"KAPOW! Can you say INSTRUCTIONS?!!!"

Thursday, January 27, 2011

how to brush up on your driving

i am always looking for a good "how to"

This one is brought to you
by three BACKSEAT drivers
currently taking DRIVERS ED
at the local high school.

Me driving....

Me taking a left turn, briskly... because I want to turn before the oncoming car...who has time for signals.

Them....previously oblivious to my existence
other than the convenience of chauffeuring
them two block from
said local high school
front and center
to our refrigerator.

Quote: [all talking at the same time] that was illegal, you didn't use a turn signal, you are suppose to use a turn signal xxxxx distance from the turn and xxxxx seconds before you turn, which signal lets other motorists know of your intentions to turn, you can get in a lot of trouble for that, and you turned when the oncoming car was not of a safe distance. and by the way you didn't signal at the last turn either and you didn't stop for the right amount of time. if there was a police person you would be in time out for that. you can lose your license and have to take drivers school. don't you know the rules?

Me...nose rubbed sufficiently in my mistake.
they are paying attention....maybe
they will be a few of
the "safe" drivers
soon to be practicing
on a road near you.]

on marriage

'Will you, um, marry me?' I haven't seen you in weeks! You don't look happy or excited about the prospect of our marriage! You're asking me to give up my - my freedom, my joie de vivre for an institution that fails as often as it succeeds? And why should I marry you anyway? I mean, why do you wanna marry me? Besides some bourgeois desire to fulfill an ideal that society embeds in us from an early age to promote a consumer capitalist agenda?