Thursday, September 25, 2008

ramblings of the political sort

"Closely allied with the trend toward bigger and bigger government is the tendency toward loose fiscal policy, both public and private. This concerns us as free men. 'The borrower is servant to the lender' (Proverbs 22:7). A nation can hang itself on the gallows of excessive public debt-and the United States is no exception." - "The Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson," p. 291

This thought was in my email inbox this morning from WOOL (Words of our Leaders). It has gotten me thinking (imagine) about an NPR commentary that I heard yesterday. Well, more like a full radio program which turned into commentary in my head.

With 41 days until the election how do we get good policy among these politics. America is sick with significant stress due to the fall of the market and increase in oil prices. Congress can't efficiently act upon these things because of campaigning. And government is trying to react to these things with unjustified means in rash decision making.

America is plagued with the damages of confidences; being confidence in our government policy.

We have grave doubts seeing our leaders digging themselves into a deeper political depression. For what is in front of their faces they ought to stand back a bit and examine possibilities. Just one example is the Fanny May and Freddy Mac; including the meddling that the government is doing with the looming and certain foreclosures.

With the current deficit how can the government even be considering buying out the populations mortgages. What is this saying to the people? You can live in your homes, with no foreclosure, while the government owns the home and they become the biggest home owners in the country. All this while neighbors who have sacrificed to stay on top of their mortgages continue to pay their mortgages. The government bails out our people at the expense of the people. What happens when it is the government foreclosing on the people whose first preservation was its leadership?

Is this now a game of chicken between the president and congress? What are we teaching the American people? That we will pay for our irresponsible neighbors, that we will suffer for their over spending and lack of consumer control to live within means. Sounds like a set up for a civil war burgeoning in Americas own communities.

Never is a forced decision a good decision, and all this is coming to potential policy as of Friday. When are we going to see it as headlines, after the fact. Something like, "700 Billion in borrowed government money goes to pay for Homeowners to continue to live well above their means."

It's called the Bailout Proposal. And it is causing outrage as Congress again fails America in order to meet Americans panicked immediate need..

It is much more complicated than my few minutes allow me. This is becoming an art more than a science; a political art. This comes down to the responsibility of our consumers. The way I see out of this mess is our American Consumers need to have a depression. Sounds like harsh medicine, but if the illness continues to spread among our people, we must be prepared to take the prescribed therapy.

It continues to displace market mechanisms as we teach our people to turn to Uncle Sam for "bailout". A serious depression is in order to deal with the credit messes, messes in our own homes and messes within our government set up.

Shall we be afraid. Yes. We are the product of our own credit destruction. Again, what President Benson said, "Closely allied with the trend toward bigger and bigger government is the tendency toward loose fiscal policy, both public and private. This concerns us as free men. 'The borrower is servant to the lender' (Proverbs 22:7). A nation can hang itself on the gallows of excessive public debt-and the United States is no exception." - "The Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson," p. 291

Our nation has hung itself. By bailing out, at the expense of government borrowing money from additional foreign sources is just bad practice. Seriously. How do they decide who deserves to be bailed out and who doesn't, it becomes personal. And it teaches something I don't want my kids learning in History class. Bad credit behavior is rewarded with temporary cream of the crop.

Efforts to reform Fanny May and Freddy Mac have been unsuccessful, and this is the demise of policies driven by the current partnership of congress and the republican party allowing the seeds of financial crash to be planted.

No fingers to point, not point in placing blame, but I don't think playing chicken and then making a rash decision like deer in the headlights is the best possible function that government can offer its people. We are headed into a head-on fatality.

We need to go back to a live and learn society.

J's lock:
For instance, J-7 called, much in tears, the first week of school. He had put a lock on his locker and was unable to get into the locker because he had forgotten his keys.

First of all, it's against school policies to put a lock on your locker.

Second of all, it is his personal responsibility that he has what he needs for the day upon arriving at school.

And third, yes, as his mother I went through the reminders, and I did talk to him about that specific school rule being broken, including the consequences of his choice for putting the lock on THAT VERY MORNING.

I made sure, because he is ONLY 7 years old, and in the 2nd grade, that he had his key, that he knew to take the lock off, and that he should not choose to do it again. It is breaking a rule, a policy, which has been put in place at his school by the administration, to protect him from his own discomfort when he finds himself in the future FORGETTING HIS KEY.

So, when I got the phone call from the lovely lady in the office mentioning that he forgot his key, and could not get into his locker, I was quite surprised that I was somehow expected to bail him out. My first reaction was, waahhhh. Not really feeling bad for him

Of course I said, well, he broke a school rule, what are his options.

She asked if I could please talk to him because he was sad. I believe he was sad, but shouldn't he be allowed to feel what he is feeling, to learn, and particularly being he was suffering the consequences of his choices, his behavior.

Of course, not wanting to be the meany, I talked to him. Something like, I am sorry that this has happened, you must be feeling really bad, no I will not bring you the key, what do you think that you can do for today. I offered what I thought was the natural consequence. Get the custodian to come cut the lock off.

Yes, J had saved his money, and bought the lock on his own. It is a beautiful red lock, combination lock, with a key for memory fault.

He, of course, did not like what I was saying to him. Really, I felt bad, but too bad. This was not something that I felt would do him any good if I came running over to the school, to dry his tears, and unlock his locker. I knew that if I did, it would only happen again, and in many other situations. Situations that would be worse and more painful for him. Situations that I won't be able to bail him out.

I told him that although I felt bad that he was feeling sad, I was now realizing that he was also tardy, and that he should get his "butt" into class because now he was interrupting the learning process; which would serve him better than having a place to store his stuff.

His option was to have the custodian cut off his lock or leave his backpack and lunch in the office, but he had better get to class. (Which he informed me that the principal was not giving tardies today because it was only the first week. And I informed him that he was going to owe me time after school writing about the reasons why it is important to be on time, for personal growth and improvement, and respect.)

He went to class.

Later in the day, I was kindly informed that the sweet administration had tended to his wounds, checked in on him to make sure he was not having "a bad day" because of the mornings events.

Yes, I am thankful for kindness in my children's world, but I would also like to see consequences in their world. And a bad day every now and then is NOT the end of the world.

Another of my thoughts: we are in the middle of a supposed water crisis. Why is it easier to say that the water crisis can be solved if people take personal responsibility for their use of the water? Again, responsibility. And the bottom line is that IS what this is ALL about.

Isn't government just justifying our ridiculous spending habits here. Even Obama and McCain, although diversely choosing their course, are promoting this crisis as "a moment to rise above politics." And republicans are opposing the solutions to their inability to reform their own proposals.

What a world we live in today? It's a beautiful day in my neighborhood, how about yours? I should have warned, this is certainly a rambling with slight political opinion, open to comments or alternate opinions.

I will have changed my mind once I go out into the world today and see what the game plays are. I really do hope for reform; Personal reform in how we each live, and recognize how our actions cause reactions that effect much more than our own circumstances.

I say, "cut the lock".

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

How's My Smile?

Why does picture day make you feel like you need to take out a second mortgage?
How fun was our morning, getting 4 kids out the door, with shiny faces and combed hair.
Okay, it doesn't sound that hard, try it sometime.

Breakfast conversation is always hilarious:

J-7: How's my smile?
S-9: Fine.
J-7: I don't want it going all the way up to my eyes. How's it now?
S-9: Fine.

Me: Make sure you smile, no grumpy looks or I will be crying in your future. You will call me up and I will be bawling my eyes out. If you ask I will tell you it is because you didn't smile in your school picture and all I have are frowny faces to remember you by.

Cece probably changed her clothing half a dozen times.

G-13; patiently giving her advice on her clothing.
Being in Junior High make him the resident expert on style these days.

And with the choices in background color that the school gives you now, coordinating colors is critical. The final change brought tears to my eyes, because instead of a little girl, she presented herself, asking, "is this okay?" looking like a teenager. I am not ready for this.

Hair combed, kids almost out the door, where is J?

Finding him in the dog kennel, for Baxter's last morning love; his hair is array, his smile is huge. Hair or smiles, I have to decide!

Next thing I notice is S in the entry mirror practicing his smile.
"Mom, how can I get my best smile?"

I hug him from behind, "Smile just like when you feel me hugging you, that my favorite."

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Nap time with a "twist"

Upon waking up from my Sunday nap I have been privy to tmi (too much information) about what has gone on while I was asleep.

Sundays are our Movie Nights. This began when Grandpa couldn't get out much. We enjoyed a fine dinner each Sunday afternoon, and then watched a movie with Grandpa. Each kid, and adult, took a turn in choosing the movies. Many comments should have been recorded at the watching of these movie choices.

So here I was yesterday evening, minding my own business, asleep in my bed. Mr. B was intending on waking me for the movie, but "forgot"; likely story.

As I awaken, I hear the pleasant sounds of laughing and talking. I decided to join the fun. Here is what I heard:

"Wow, probably shouldn't tell your mom about that one." (This is B, thinking I can't hear them.)

"What one?" I say.

G-13, "Dad, you're in trouble." (The smirk on G's face says it all, this is going to be fun.)

"Bad movie choice."

Me, ignoring that comment, knowing that G and Mr. B have left me sleeping WAY too long, I decide to bring up the Standards Night (which the both of them should have been attending at the Stake Center an hour ago, hence dad suppose to wake me up, hence, trouble for the pair of them.)

Mr. B, "Oh crap, I totally forgot about that."

G, "I didn't, I remembered at 645, but since mom was still asleep I thought we could sacrifice going."

B and G "We should probably leave mom's nap out of this one." (Good idea).

"So, tell me about the movie."

Mr. B: "Not the best of choices."

G ratting on his dad, "Well it is PG-13, parents STRONGLY cautioned."

Mr. B "Yeah, I probably should have noticed that."

(Ya think.)

Mr. B, "I thought this was the Oliver Twist Musical, it wasn't."
He is thinking I will leave it at that.

Me: "How many night terrors should we expect tonight."

Mr. B: " A few, and G will probably want to sleep upstairs on the couch."

Me: "How bad was it?"

Mr. B, still avoiding any real details: "We sang a lot of Hymns, while I fast forwarded through some parts."

Me: "Was Adam still here?" (Let me introduce Adam: 9 years old, taking the missionary discussions in our home, going to be baptized this Saturday, came over to have some solace on a Sunday afternoon, Adam.)

Mr. B: "Yeah, he should be fine. But J-AGE 7 was a bit frustrated." (J frequently reminds his father and me that we are the parents, PG means parents should know better, and PG 13 means he is not old enough, and we should really know better, i.e. the time we wanted to watch Transformers, and he was huddled under a blanket crying. Then not huddled under a blanket screaming at us, "you are supposed to be responsible for me. This is not an appropriate movie for a 6 year old. PG means parents are suppose to know better. What is wrong with you." Which, being the kind mom I am, I took him to another television and watched Monsters Inc. Really dad, what is wrong with you?)

G-13 trying to interject here, and dad saying, "G, you should probably not say anything right now, especially if it has anything to do with certain parts of the movie."

G persisting in his dad's defense: "What about all the movies mom has made me watch. Like the year at the cabin when she only brought three movies, Beaches, Steele Magnolias, and Fried Green Apples." (..tomatoes:)) "The mom's all die in those movies, what was she thinking, huh, Dad."

Dad: "G, that's not going to work with mom, I think we should stop talking."


Mr. B, "Well, I had the kids close their eyes, we really did sing some great Hymns. It wasn't that bad."

Okay, so isn't Oliver Twist a classic. That was his entire defense. He lost.
I will be picking the next few movies.
Anybody want to watch Dumbo.

Monday, September 22, 2008

kicking and screaming

that about sums up my life, kicking and screaming, tomorrow is a new day!

Rhetoric and our mornings

I love listening to what the kids say in the mornings. If only I was a better dictionary and could recite the definitions of all the words they are trying to use. I thought it would be fun to list them with the conversations that they have together. Here goes:

J: I an all timer. (mixed up with Alzheimer's)
Me thinking: (I think I like the all timer better.)

S: No, you're nocturnal
Me thinking: (so that is why they never go to sleep.)

J: And your obnoxious!

To which S began to eat his breakfast, calling "uncle" for now!

The “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks

A blog I like to follow (as someone who knows she "me" uses too many of them)

The “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks
misinterpreting bad punctuation since 2005



posted today:
guys. guys.
This blog has a wikipedia entry.

Check it out, just for fun!!!

Sunday, September 21, 2008

The Unexpected in Life

The Unexpected in Life

"I believe the most valuable thing a mother can teach her child is belief, confidence, and faith in a loving God—to reach outward and upward beyond himself for strength and courage—and to instill in that child the simple faith that he or she is a child of God with a purposeful life ahead. Life is filled with the unexpected: accidents, deaths, hazards, fears. Mother, father, the light switch, water in the tap may not always be there. But resource to God is always available." - "Favorite Quotations from the Collection of Thomas S. Monson," p.39

Life does go on, however bleek somedays may be, others are full of laughter and life, all are full of love.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

The Parents Tao Te Ching - Book Review

Excellent Book - Five Stars

A couple of excerpts from the book:

As They Are

When you are with your children
be one with them.
Let every part of your body relax
and become as supple as your child's,
Allow all expectations and anxieties to melt away
so that you can see clearly.
Love them as they are
in this very moment,
without needing to change a thing.

When their lives are filled with trouble
allow events to unfold
without pushing or straining,
and you will understand clearly
what your role should be.

You nourish them without posessing them.
You guide them without controlling them.
You help them without worrying.

Being with your children can be like meditating.
When you are with your child next,
forget the past,
forget the future,
and let your mind and heart come
to be where your body is.

Can you make room?

If you fill every waking moment
of your children's lives
they will have no room
to be themselves
If you push them constantly
they will break.
If you burden them with an abundance
of material toys
their hearts will contract in possessiveness.
If you always try to please them
you will be their prisoner,
not their parent.

Don't strive or strain.
Do your work, then rest.
Your children will learn serenity.

Are your children problems to be solved,
or people to be loved.
Consider current problems with your children.
Can you create a space,
free from your own anxieties,
in which they are able to find their own way,
feeling your love,
but not your expectations?

by William Martin

Friday, September 19, 2008

tao of Have a Happy Day!

"In Taoist Feng Shui, there is a well-guarded secret set of codes that will, when mastered properly, allow you to have any and everything you want in life. These codes are called 'The Five Mystic Codes' and are really for study by only the most serious students. The first of these Five Codes is called The Heart Secret and says that anyone -- even you -- can train yourself to the point that whatever you spend time thinking about will literally happen. This first code purports that you must maintain a mastery over your thoughts before you can manifest your wishes and desires. The premise is that this thinking is done using your very first thought in the morning. The absolute moment you awaken you must then think only about what it is that you would like to come true. You cannot open your eyes, or even let any wandering thoughts stray through your mind. And, even though this sounds relatively simple, it demands focus, concentration, repetition and practice. A powerful discipline with the ability to effect a hugely positive change.

On this one: You snooze, you lose! Ellen Whitehurst, "

Me: okay, so I was thinking back to my post: not breathing...can't remember who to call.

advice to myself: ..."very first thought of the morning. The absolute moment you awaken you must think only about what it is that you would like."

Summary...that is what my problem is. I wake up grumpy (just kidding Mr. B!).

Then I get up and act like grumpy.

Mary Poppins Tao

Okay, awake and remembering what "seeds" were planted in me yesterday.

The tao was to wake up with a better "attitude". I woke up with a sweet husband, memories of our evening together. The very loud Homecoming party the University was having.

Boys waking up at 930 because the music was blaring so loud. J-7 wanted us to tell the party to go to bed. Instead, we shut the windows, and turned on some music for them in their room. I woke up to their music still playing. Be still, my soul....

Okay, why the Mary Poppins. As I was doing the dishes this morning, (the dishes I wouldn't let Mr. B finish last night because I wanted to take a walk with him up to the Homecoming party...the blaring music...and just enjoy the evening and his company), dot, dot...

Mary our kitchen (where I was doing dishes) my kids have posted the song from the movie, with a plea to us, Mom and Dad. It goes:

If you want this choice position,
have a cheery disposition,
Rosy cheeks, no warts!
Play games, all sort
You must be kind, you must be witty
Very sweet and fairly pretty
Take us on outings, give us treats
Sing songs, bring sweets
Never be cross or cruel
Never give us castor oil or gruel
Love us as a son and daughter
And never smell of barley water
If you won't scold and dominate us
We will never give you cause to hate us
We won't hide your spectacles
So you can't see Put toads in your bed
Or pepper in your tea
Hurry, Mommy! Many thanks
Sincerely, the kids!

Okay, so that sums it up. I am humming this in my head this morning, hoping for a better day with myself. Never be cross or cruel....if you wont scold and dominate us...

I will be nice, I will be patient, I will filter the things that are in my head before my mouth reveals my weaknesses. I am the mother.

Although I frequently remind my kids that they had the choice to come to me, and they knew very well what they were getting themselves into. They must know something I don't.

Ready to learn, ready to nurture the seeds that I have within me.

'Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...
It's about learning to dance in the rain'

Thursday, September 18, 2008

The Fern and The Bamboo

One day I decided to quit.... I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality.....
I wanted to quit my life. I went to the woods to have one last talk with God. "God", I said. "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"
His answer surprised me... "Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"
"Yes", I replied. "When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them. I gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful. And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo".
He said. "In the third year, there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit. In the fourth year, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit.
He said. "Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant. But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.
It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive. I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle."
He said to me. "Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots. I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you. Don't compare yourself to others."
He said. "The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern, yet, they both make the forest beautiful." "Your time will come," God said to me. "You will rise high!"
"How high should I rise?" I asked.
"How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.
"As high as it can?" I questioned.
"Yes." He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can." I left the forest and brought back this story.
I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you........ Never regret a day in your life. Good days give you Happiness. Bad days give you Experiences. Both are essential to life. Keep going... Happiness keeps you Sweet, Trials keep you Strong, Sorrows keep you Human, Failures keep you Humble, Success keeps you Glowing, But Only God keeps you Going! Have a great day! The Son is shining!! God is so big He can cover the whole world with his Love and so small He can curl up inside your heart.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008


Sometimes the absolutely worse thing
in the world is leaving the kids at school.
Driving away, hearing them say, "love you mom", "have a happy day",
carrying their lunch boxes, with a note of love and confidence.
I always hope people will be nice today.
Will they come home with delightful experiences,
or are they going to encounter something else?

G in Junior High, being indoctrinated by teachers with opinions.
Opinions different than mine.
Having conversations that have to do with our world;
Immigration, global warming, the next presidential election,
wanting to know what things mean
when I am still trying to figure those things out. What am I thinking?

Why not spend the entire day with my children running barefoot through the grass,
rolling down hills, swinging in tree swings,
knowing that you will reach the sky if you just pump a little harder.
I can play four square, kick-ball, jumprope.
I can teach them times tables, and how to write an essay.
I just miss them, and wish they missed me a little more.
But they are independant and going to grow up no matter what I do.

When they were little and learning to walk,
I would trip them up, "gently" push them back down, crawl a little longer;
I would beg.
Cuddle more with me, come into our room at night,
oh, how I miss having four of them all
trying to find a place to snuggle at night.
Making beds on the floor of my room.
I guess they needed that because I was pushing
them out into the world of school and sports.
I suppose that is why they needed more at night,
because they were learning and growing,
and they wanted to have all the time in the world with me too.
I miss that. It does go away, and I don't like it.
They loose their youth, they grow into these wonderful people
that are so like yourself, and yet so like their own person.
I have planted them as seeds, now I need the courage to let them grow.

I guess that is why I am trying to redefine me.
Who I am? What kind of a world do I see myself
offering these little people as they grow up.
I tell them, "stop growing up",
and J replies,
"Mom, you can grow up with us."
Thanks J, if I can be with them for now,
I guess I won't worry about tomorrow.
And maybe I can work out an appreciation
for the time that I have to define me,
while they are out there, exposed to our wonderful world;
well at least it is an interesting experience.

There is something to what they gain, that I can't give them.
It's just the courage it takes to let go of them;
remembering what was written by a third grade girl,
to go with her art piece. It has stayed with me ever since.
This is what our kids are doing while they are away growing up.
They are learning to be stars, sensitive, thoughtful, aware, respectful, students.
They are little seedlings, sprouting.
They are learning to have the courage to be their best person.

So, yes; my children: Have a happy day!

Courage, it is the hardest thing you will ever muster up.
It can also be the most important quality you will ever need
in a very scary situation.
This small fragile sprout represents courage.
It takes a lot of courage for such a helpless sprout to become a plant.
It must brave the elements every day.
I wish I were as courageous as this helpless sprout.


Saturday, September 13, 2008

"Yes, We're Grounded!"

What you must know going into this: We do not generally use grounding. It has only been used as a punishment to fit the crime. Like the time when G had forgotten who we were trying to raise him to be. To remind him, we grounded him to a list of words which he had to look up in the collegiate (1500 pages) dictionary. From the list and their definitions he had to put them in report form. Which word would I like to describe me, and which words would I like to avoid being described as. Sounds easy, except that he was only 7 years old, in the first grade, and we had given him words which would require that he look up more words to define; took him a bit longer than a week, for the first draft. At that age their handwriting is atrocious, so of coarse a re-write was in order. It was so impressionable that no one in our home has forgotten.

Cece had the same punishment…

Second, G was grounded from me once for a period of two weeks; for disrespect towards me. The natural punishment was that he lost the “privilege” of me and, with that, all that I do for him. (This actually works very well. Painful enough that we have had no more incidences worthy of such grounding.)

At this time he was in the 3rd grade. He had the opportunity to eat oatmeal for two weeks, in his room. Do his own laundry. Walk to and from school. Eat pb and j, with carrots and water for lunch (at school…no cookies, etc, notes from mom, just boring old sack lunch – very painful punishment!) and ditto for dinner – in his room. He could not talk to me, ask me questions. He was to report directly to his desk and was given various writing tasks by his dad. He was also given only two bathroom breaks a day. After a couple weeks of missing mom’s dinners, love, attention and attending too, he was ready to understand that respecting his mother gains him great comforts.

You would not think that this would be a good thing to aspire to.

Alas, S-9 and J-7 are grounded. Unfortunately, I allowed them to come up with their punishment this time, and this is how it went.

After walking the dog and checking in with various neighbors to see what their after school treats were, they decided that without telling mom they would stay at the house with the best offer.

After about an hour of dog walking time I began to worry. Not so much for the boys, but for the neighbors whom they were certainly entertaining.

Sending out an SOS (ie G and Cece), the boys were called home and given a stern lecture, dinner, pajamas and meet me at the couch to talk punishment.

They came up with being grounded.

I thought, not what I would have chosen, a bit harsh, but….both agreed it was what they wanted.

I gave in. And then… unison, “YES, WERE GROUNDED.” We get to eat in our room. The cheers, I am certain, could be heard downtown, because about that time their dad called to see if everything was “okay.”

Me, in shock, “Yeah, were fine, the boys are just off celebrating that they are grounded.”

(Later I hear them talking, “finally, we get to be grounded.” “I am going to clean up my desk, how about you?” “Yeah, we get a whole week in here, so I want it to be clean.” “What do you think mom will serve us for dinner?” “We don’t have to go to piano….we don’t have to go to scouts….I don’t even think we can come out to go to church.”)

Watch out world. (and in conclusion: why didn’t I think of this, peace and quietly I get to type away, eat what I want, when I want, and they are in their room CLEANING.)

Thursday, September 11, 2008

on marriage

'Will you, um, marry me?' I haven't seen you in weeks! You don't look happy or excited about the prospect of our marriage! You're asking me to give up my - my freedom, my joie de vivre for an institution that fails as often as it succeeds? And why should I marry you anyway? I mean, why do you wanna marry me? Besides some bourgeois desire to fulfill an ideal that society embeds in us from an early age to promote a consumer capitalist agenda?