Sunday, November 30, 2008

Note to self: BLOG THAT!

Thanks crazyland, for the amazing post and reminder of this fabulous memory that couldn't have been blogged without your insight.

[NOTE: you have to read her post,
below is just my comment to her post!]

okay. i used one of these once, even grosser i let my niece do the busy work. she is 6, you can make kids this age do this kind of stuff. to make things grosser, i thought i would blog it afterward.

she happened to say at the end of the procedure [yes it was]. "look, sawdust."

okay, i may just have to blog that!

and NOW I DID!

Saturday, November 29, 2008

J-7 wants a MULLET!

what to do?
J-7 wants to grow all the back of his hair and keep the front short.

he already has the vest to go with the look; SCARY!!!


yes, we allow him to be creative

maybe, might be good to get it out of his system now

no, ABSOLUTELY a bad idea.
the emphasis on the no part is in no way to dissuade you from your opinion.

He, too, has been taking votes, and so far the mullet is winning. (HELP!)

we could always get him the wig ☺


Anyone looking
for a hilarious laugh
needs to check out this blog.

I have been keeping it
to myself for too long,

i can't hold it in any longer --

YOU need, beyond need, to look into it!

super funny☺

Friday, November 28, 2008

the honest scrap award....THANKS!


...with this award i have to post 10 HONEST things about myself.

here goes:

1. i really am not good at keeping up with my house. i save EVERYTHING. i want to de-clutter but don't have the courage to do it. IT DRIVES ME CRAZY. I have a hard time having people over. I never used to be like this. A year ago I had my idea of PERFECTION.

Somewhere I crash and burned, and we are all suffering for it. My kids are on board to organize, they have the energy so it will get done.

2. Instead of food storage, we have toys and chocolate. I stress that we don't have enough to provide in time of necessity. This goes along with number one. De-clutter, and get food storage in order. And with number three, as you get the feeling that I am making a list: TO DO

3. I make crazy lists. I write everything down that I need to do everyday. Without the list I can't seem to function. I spend more time making the list than it would take to do have the things on the list. I reorganize my list; for efficiency, which requires rewriting them. I live by the list. I also make my kids live by a LIST. A checklist: home from school, wash hands, check, snack, check, pet care, check, chore, check, practice piano/guitar, check, homework, check, help with dinner chores, check, dinner, check, scriptures, check, journal, check, brush teeth, check, pajamas, check, prayers, check, 30 minutes reading, check. [compulsive behaviour passed along to the kids, another need for therapy when they get older.]

4. I can eat a half a gallon of ice cream during one movie.

5. I am writing a healing journal to try to break free from the pain of abuse and abandonment in my childhood. [that was a hard one to write, and not embelish or minimize, just honest] I wont ramble about this one.

6. I blog in layers. One for family, private, one for cyber friends, this one, my favorite.

7. I blog too much. (ouch, that was hard to admit.)

8. I know that there are some people reading this that will talk about me behind my back. I know who they are and it does hurt my feelings. This was not easy for me to be honest about. How about we just try to be nice?

9. I love serving in my church. I may be a broken mess about my gospel, but I believe in it with all my heart. I love the Savior, he is my friend, my partner in healing, my guide. I am thankful.

10. My kids are my delight, they are my everything. When I am with them, and with my husband, all is well; laughter is present, sometimes tears,
we may not have it all together, but together we have it all.

Amen to all these honest revelations about me. It is more than I wanted to know, so I can imagine how you feel. I just have to remind myself that this exercise is good for me, and that it is for ME. So there I have it. And what have I learned, oh, the growing pains of being honest about yourself.


trying to stay calm


Purple Diva

if you give a mom a moment

mommy madness



everyday mom designs



"The Queen in Residence"

really are you serious

and Rachel

my decision came from the last dozen (bakers dozen) comments. THANKS friends. I have a couple other tags awaiting. If you want to play comment. If you don't want to play, comment: let me know.

If you don't want to do this tag; no hard feelings. THanKs for reADiNg me. Happy Day! ♥

Happy Turkey Recovery Day!

j  mom, did you know
video games are good for you.
it works out your fingers
it gets your brain going.

Me: is your brain going now.

j: yep, let me see
(touching his head),

yep, feels good,
feels like its going.

S: hey, are there
anymore lucky charms.

Day after thanksgiving,
video games,
lucky charms
....and blogging!

Hope you all
are enjoying
the recovery!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

what did kitty do?

it's up to you...

all i am going to tell you for now is
that whatever she did

G responded by saying:
"Kitty, you are so unadopted!"

Happy Turkey Day!

repost: the Tao of Have a Happy Day!

I decided to repost one of my favorite feelings, the feeling you get, when you know your alive...oh wait, that is mister rogers. i meant, the Have a Happy Day feeling. I am thankful for these moments. (origionally posted September 11.)

"have a happy day" is a commonly used phase in our home. lunches packed have this thought to fill them for the day, and often as we greet and leave one another.

It came from J as a little boy of about 3 or 4. Instead of saying have a good day, he would say have a happy day. No big deal, until he said it to my grandparents, who thought it was so lovely that they posted it on their fridge. A reminder of what each day should be about: Happiness.

This day, in our home, I noticed that their is only one song being played in between the Mamma Mia soundtrack (which, by the way, is driving G completely crazy - being that he thought that Mamma Mia was one really long, really bad music video. What does he know!)

Of the subject...sorry...

My point, this one song, by Jazon Marz, has found it's way in between the soundtrack, so I have taken notice. Even G plays it each time he gets the computer, and can thankfully drown out Cece and her I-pod recycling of Mamma Mia.

I thought why and what is this song that my kids are playing so much.
So I listened, and read the lyrics.

I noticed that their are a couple of words...and underlying themes that are questionable, but on a whole I found some real wisdoms. A tao of sorts.

So I am sharing what I got from listening to the things that my kids are so into,
hearing them from what they choose as their "rhapsody", for now anyhow.

(interested: listen to the song at is such a fun song to listen to.)

my tao of I'm Yours, by Jason Marz

"..I fell right through the cracks, now I'm trying to get back.

I'll be giving it my bestest,
And nothings going to stop me but divine intervention

I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some. up your mind and see like me,

Look into your heart and you'll find love, love, love,

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours

I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and laughed

I guess what I'm saying is
there ain't no better reason
To rid yourself of vanity
and just go with the seasons
It's what we aim to do
Our name is our virtue

Listen to the music of the moment
maybe sing with me
I like peaceful melodys

Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love
Listen to the music of the moment come and dance with me

I like one big family (2nd time: I like happy family)

No I won't hesitate no more, no more
This cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours, I'm yours"

Okay, so I like poetry, and listening to this song, it's poetry, it's rhetoric, it's an understanding of the things that are important. It's not complicated. You can hang on to mistakes, or with the fog in the mirror, make a new face. Be your new you today. Your name is your virtue, why not make it the best. Why not open your mind, look in your heart, be peaceful, sing and dance. Why not have fun. Each day is a new "season" in life to do with what we will; "don't worry, be happy". It is our right to be happy, to be loved, time is short. If your not happy, do something about it. Laugh a little, cry when you need to. And remember the bigger picture. I'm yours...being God children, aren't we all. I like happy family.

Enjoy the day. Make it a "happy day". Make it a happy family day!

worry not for the future
the present is all thou has
the future will soon be present
the present will soon be past

----my great great grandmother

today: Nov. 26
As you get ready for these hopefully happy family celebrations take my wish that your Thanksgiving is all you would hope for it to be.

Happy Day - Happy Thanksgiving!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

just to know that you are there

thanks binders for the nice comment! from me to you:referring to:

CAPTCHA: great bloggers think alike, take two


"That's so true. In this day and age it's hard to make time to PERSONALLY meet with everyone. Sometimes it's just those little connections, bits of wisdom or moments of inspiration we glimpse on someone else's blog that give us that boost we need."

reminds me of someone else who came into our world every day,

One of my top favorite websites:

For all you big kids out there who (like me) miss Mr. Rogers Neighborhood!!!

"It's you I like,
It's not the things you wear,
It's not the way you do your hair--
But it's you I like
The way you are right now,
The way down deep inside you--
Not the things that hide you,
Not your toys--
They're just beside you.
But it's you I like--
Every part of you,
Your skin, your eyes, your feelings
Whether old or new.
I hope that you'll remember
Even when you're feeling blue
That it's you I like,
It's you yourself, It's you, it's you I like

For listening:

For watching:

Monday, November 24, 2008

healing - the end of crazy

most of my writing is upbeat, and off the subject of anything serious.

as i read my last rambling about crazy,
i realized that this was some
pretty heavy material.

Not timid, not light.

real stuff.

so i decided that i needed to write for myself today. Sunday.

My mom, me, who am i really, and am I healing?

Because of you...

as i listen to kelly clarkson's song

I will not make
The same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break

"It's about the cycle of families, like you act how your parents acted towards you and then your kids act how you acted towards them, and it's all about breaking that cycle if it was a bad one [...] It's one of those songs that everybody's kind of gonna relate to, but you're not happy about that. It's very close to home [for me].

I OK'd it with my family and everything because they think it's important, because we're obviously very different now than we were when we were younger. And it's important for people to see that raw kind of emotion that happens in life. It sucks sometimes, so it's important to see that I think." [kelly clarkson, mtv news]

Like she says, raw emotion that happens in life.
It sucks sometimes....

I get that.

So here I am, trying to sort out me, who I am, and who I intend to become.

for now this explains it.

I am trying to break the cycle.

I am trying to make life more about who I plan to become,
and less about who and where I have come from.

thanks for the cyber support.
you give me smiles, everyday...

now I plan to go read with my kids.

♥great bloggers think alike, keep them coming♥

As i was blog browsing (or you could call it stalking)
whichever, but know that my intentions
are to find good blog friends.

go ahead, laugh, you are laughing with me,
cuz i know i am part lazy, oops, i meant crazy!


when you go into my comments, see the captcha

tell me what you think it means:

this one I think is for fishing, when you need mar worsm

as i comment on your blogs i am going to bring you a post, CAPTCHA

with credit to you, you wonderful bloggers. keeping me busy.

happy blogging.


this morning as i was getting dressed cece came in asking me morning questions.

what are you doing today?

should i wear this?

will i be warm enough if i put leggins on?

can i go clothes shopping?


mom, do you have your funerals today?

me: my funerals?

cece: yeah, you said you had funerals this week?

me: funerals? what?
(i don't get it, we had two funerals last month for my grandmothers,
i am wondering if i missed something.)

me: honey, i don't think i have funerals.

cece: oh, you said you had funerals.

me: OH, you mean FINALS. yes, honey, i have finals, not funerals.

i am still not sure if i heard her wrong the entire time,
but thinking about it sometimes finals are like a funeral,
the end of the semester,
burying the disaster of the semester.
some semesters are like that, i've had them.
good luck to anyone in school right now.
hope your funerals go well. no pun intended.

my guts

okay, so this morning i am checking on my blog friends before i am off to study, write papers, design power points, and take finals. i come across one and i LOVE her for being so honest. we all feel weary and insecure [not that she said that, i just felt that way about myself thinking about what i read], especially with all these perfect and perfectly happy moms out here. as i rambled on my comment i realized that i probably don't blog my guts a whole lot here and you all probably think i am perfectly perfect and happy. well, that just isn't the case. so here is my comment to her, because i don't think i have the courage to write it twice:

in response to being the perfect mom, because others are doing it, and to not whining and complaining:

i think the key wording here is "virtually surrounded" by women who love it and are good at it.

[i put that in parenthesis on purpose, because i do think the reality of it is that it doesn't exist, feeling perfectly happy, except on the seriously so blessed blog, which is truly a satire of Mormon mom perfection, i will leave it at that, commenting on my own thoughts.]

i think it is hard for all moms, and for all dads, who spend time at home, stay at i had a mom tell me this week that she was a cement layer, in the heat, the cold, the dirt, and hard labor, and being a mom on a good day is harder than doing cement work on a bad day.

be nice to your self. we all struggle, maybe we just don't show it in our virtual reality world of writing. i need to more. i don't write as much about it as i should. days are hard. right now i think i am the most neglectful mom there is. a cluttered house, i am constantly doing homework, blogging in between my on line course work.

i feel like a chaotic crazy mom. i think i will post this comment on my blog. i am sure you are not the only person who feels this way. or maybe this rambling is all about me. i'm sorry if it sounds so selfish, and inadequate, and insecure, and deliriously weary. that is the guts of how i feel. take care now.

so, yes, everyone: please take care. not one of us could honestly say that we never lose our patience, that we don't struggle and have pain, that we always enjoy every aspect of motherhood, parenthood, it is hard work; it is worth it, but it is hard work.

it honestly is the "walking in the snow uphill both ways" life. yes, we want our kids to be loved, protected, happy, giggling children with great childhoods to remember. but somedays are tough, and if you need to write your guts you should be able to. i know i need to.

call me crazy, part 2

i spent the day with my mom on Friday,
she is better known as granny crazy.
like getting a blog award, this is hers.

it's hard work to earn crazy.

proof is in an appointment that she had.
even with all the history of being a crazy lady, she couldn't pull it off.
leaving the appointment she was told that she was
too sane to pull off crazy.

none of us is too sane to pull off crazy, seriously.

i don't get it.
my whole life has been a sham,
thinking that i was raised by a crazy lady; (we talked about if Friday)
for me, her being crazy explained everything.

Now I don't know what to do.

her being crazy was the only way i could accept my past,
i could forgive, i could put into perspective the abuse and abandonment.

Now what?

knowing that reality is that i have the past that i do, the memories, the insecurities...

and now knowing that she was normal enough to be responsible.

okay, mom, love and forgiveness, but seriously.
Can't you be crazy anyway?

that way i can be excused for my own crazyness,
"it runs in the family"....

or maybe it doesn't

who am i anyway?
i am me, and okay with being me. and i am okay with her.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

CAPTCHA: great bloggers think alike, take two

this is a shout out to blogger friends.

i will add you
if you comment, so I can get your captcha:

from Mom's Loot
pinongl: a popular 1970's children's game


toddlym: the mental state of
a two year old 10 minutes before he falls asleep.

more than fun: Squals:
actual dictionary definition...
to let out a scream.
I got this captch on the post that was
congratulatory for
a blog winner
with actual reference to a scream!

rhystier: the modern day rastafari movement, this one is the skateboarders movement to be accepted as normal citizins, just trying to get by, trying to matter.

...better watch out, they swoop by in a matter of seconds!

thank you to

Blog is my Co-Pilot

"oudodisi" upseedaisy as spoken by a two year old.

and finally:

hysti: tantrum thrown by neglected spouse
due to OBD,
obsessive blogging disorder.

"i better stop blogging before my significant other person has a hysti fit!"

when you have to refer them to tutu monkey
her post that explains why blogging is so cathartic.
blogging keeps us connected,
in the way

a scented letter in the mail did 50 years ago,
or the phone calls and soap operas did for our mothers generation.

that is what it is all about.

keep them coming...CAPTCH LATER♥

-----catcha later blog dudes!


i deCiDEd to be my oWn foLLowEr.

ToDay I nOticed that I had 12

if i follow myself I get to be ...
number 13!!! ♥♥♥ ShoWs my OCD,

but the MOST excitiNg thinG is thaT I get To Be nExt to my fRieNd,
Go girl, we ArE bLog BudDy FoLLoweRS.

HaVe you EveR cheCked out youR blOg buDDy,

whO are youNexT to On
yoUr blog FriEnds.

miGht be Fun to Get to KnoW theM.

HeLLo foLLowerS. i'll be reAding you, and haPpyBloGgiNg! ♥♥♥

call me crazy, part 1


today i stumbled upon a plea for blogs that need stalking.
i submitted a blog that i think is wonderful.

I got a response from Nicole:

"thanks for visiting my blog (Mormon Blog Stalker)! I have the Women Doing More button on the side under other sites to stalk.

I'm glad you recommended it cuz I got to check out your blog, too, and add it to my blog list! Love your blog!!!"

Thank you Nicole, glad to be stalked by you.

And so, here I am laughing,
laughing at myself,
laughing at my layers,
laughing at my blog fatalities - because I have so many to laugh at.

Here's the deal:

I was actually on the Women Doing More site,
and I saw the Mormon Blog Stalker.

I thought Blog Stalker, that's interesting.

I said to myself,
self: you have so much to do, laundry, dishes, vacuuming,
but here is a Blog Stalker

- you have to check it out.

Get to the site, and there is a plea.

Of course, being that I am a Woman Doing More,

I can't leave her to her plea without responding.

Got to think of a blog, some blog out there worth a recommend for stalking.

What comes to mind....of course, Women Doing More, a worthy cause.

Aren't I so thoughtful?

Feeling so good about myself, I had done a good thing here.

Women Doing More will have more traffic, More Women to do More!!!!

Yeah, point for me.

...after a bit of dishes, a bit of vacuuming, avoiding the laundry i decided to check in on my relentless homework. My computer tells me I have a fan, someone read me.

I have to find out who....

And there it is, this absurd blog fatality, leaving me in stitches.

Can you believe my mind today?
Those of you who know me well get to comment on that one.

So, for the sake of all us moms, manic or not,

I am publicly posting my comment to Mormon Blog Stalker.

...because I think that someone besides myself should be laughing at me
(my split personalities don't count in this case.)

public commenting: (my reply to blog stalker)
"yes, that would be me mind.

actually, even more embarrassing is that i stumbled upon your blog through the Woman Doing More site.

i just didn't want to admit it right away.

but....for the benefit of all moms losing their minds [or not]...i did.

i recommended a blog that you already stalk that i accessed your blog through.

i guess that just means that good blogs think alike!

i think i will go eat a gallon of ice cream...or iscream, as my kids call it.


Thanks...then Giving!

"Many of us will be going home over the Thanksgiving Holiday. Let us take with us the spirit of giving and engender it into our family circles. During Thanksgiving... may we truly give thanks to the Lord for His blessings, and then may we give our time and talents in service to others. King Benjamin counseled,

"... When ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God. (Mosiah. 2:17.)

"In this way our Thanksgiving will be first thanks, then giving."

John H. Vandenberg, November 23, 1965, "BYU Speeches of the Year," 1965, p.8

Friday, November 21, 2008

THANKS ... trying to stay calm ♥♥♥

thank you friend
for the fun awards!
All you bloggers;
keep writing smiles.
Hope and healing.
Fun to know you.
happy blogging!

I can't wait to pass some along!

i write...

Link to this website. Tell your friends, family, everyone about it. There is so much WE can do; together. happy day and happy blogging.

"I thought it was you" - HA AH HA HA

Picking kids up from school can be a pleasure. They talk, they listen, a little (they act like their listening, nodding their head appropriately to my ramblings, until I notice the little white cords in their ears. They are plugged into their own world, and politely smiling as if they hear everything. Why do we buy them I-tunes/pods; whatever.)

This is probably my funniest moment EVER, in picking up G-jr high.

I get to his school. He is hanging with a group of boys, the girls near by giggling. I am always thinking I wish that I could come in disguise and just watch, it is so cute. But I drive the MAV, four wheelin, sleek mommy vehicle.

He crosses the street.

[details will be important here]

he smiles, nods a bit of an acknowledgment in the direction of his peers.

stay cool, dude.

He gets into the car. From his smile I can tell he was enjoying whatever banter he happened to be engaged in only moments ago.

Still floating, he looks at me, suddenly the smile disappears. I wonder if I have spinach on my teeth, or something....has to be out of place.

He is looking at me like I really have a problem.

"What G?" I say.


Me: How was your day?

[I start my drive South, toward the younger kids school.]

Him: pretty good.

And then the freaking out begins.

Him: AAAAUUUUUGGGGGG, I have dog poop on my shoe.

You would think a swarm of bees was attacking him.

Me, starting to laugh, and helping him to move backpack and coat away from the scene of the crime, while continuing to drive.

The SMELL, it is becoming unbearable.

BUT, hey is still aware of his peers. I start to pull over. He is yelling at me, "NOT HERE MOM".

I immediately know why. The girls are just behind us, opposite side of the street.

"I HAVE to pull over, the smell is awful!"


I pull over. He gets out, begins to wipe the poop off his shoe doing some kind of jig I have never seen. Wiping, gagging, [me laughing, rolling the windows down].

He is really having a horrible time. His shoes have tiny crevices.

I tell him to use some leafs. He is dancing, grabs some crunchy leaves.

DOESNT WORK, I tell him, "not those, use the green ones."



Rolling down more windows. "Mom, not yours."
Oh, I see, hide me from the girls, who are now horizontal to the car.

He is still trying to wipe it on the grass. I can just see him falling in the poop that he has gotten off, so I slowly begin to drive forward. JUST A BIT, and really for his benefit. RIGHT, except I am laughing so hard because he is hopping to keep up with me, all while trying to hide this situation from the girl group.

He wants to know if I have any water. NO.

He wants to know if I have any baby wipes. again NO

I give him a straw, he starts to clean out each crevice.

Please mom, a rag, a napkin.

Not being fast food people I have no "extra" napkins in the car.

So he gets busy with the straw. WHERE IS MY CAMERA?

The Elementary kids begin to walk past, staring.

I say to him when a little guy comes past, "there's a shirt!" (Totally kidding, and actually if he had said it he would have been reprimanded, "be nice to the little kids.")

But me, I can't seem to help myself. Uncontrollable laughing, another kid comes by, "Hey G. Another shirt coming..."

He looks at me, looks at the kid, looks at his straw, which is now ready for (spit wad war just doesn't sound very nice, but pretty much that describes it.)

If I weren't laughing I would responsibly say, knock it off. But laughing doesn't help to enforce my wisdom and maturity as I try to say, don't, not cool buddy. He brings the straw up to his mouth. I just know what he is going to do as he eyes the little kid.

Instead of blowing, because he is desperately trying to survive this incident, he nearly sucks on the straw, yes the dog excrement weapon. His new weapon of choice, except that he forgot to blow. The look on his face is priceless.

Oh my, that was so close.
He is laughing, I am laughing, except that my floor mat is still stinking up my car.

After G gets control of the situation, himself, and the clean up, he plops in the car.
I give him the M and M bag to cover his shoe, seal it shut.

He looks at me and says. "I thought it was you."


"The smell." He says, "I thought it was you. I thought you farted."

Oh my little big G. Thank you.

Second to this, the M and M's that I poured out to bag up his shoe. He begins to throw them out the window. Yellow ones give you cancer, he says, plopping a blue on in his mouth.
"Hey, you remember that you just used those hands to clean up dog poop."

He smells them, plopps another blue one in, "Yep."

Chucking the orange ones at the girls, he says those have some dye or other...idk. then the green, he starts to pull out the green. I'm Scared! I know what the green ones meant when I was a teenager. What is he thinking? These ones, mom, I definitely don't need these ones, as he tosses one in the direction of the crossing guard. Ping, it hits the sign. The sign. He is a teenager, wierd. And sometimes I don't want to know what he knows.

So, How was your day?

step in anything today?

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Homework Series, take three: my homework FLUNG up on me

This one is G-13, all G -

Doing homework at a very late hour (where he got that habit...who knows.)

Me getting ready to tub it. Asking him HOW MUCH HOMEWORK do you have left?

Me: You had the entire weekend!@ (again a habit I can't explain. hmmmmm)

G: Mom, my homework just flung up on me.

Actually, I wanted to know if he meant flung UPON, or FLUNG UP on. He was so dramatic.

You know how homework is, it can just be FLUNG UPON you.

I feel some blogs flunging upon me as we speak.

And below, what has inspired me today.

Kids, WOW, when they can give you back something so beautiful.

As his official editor I got this treat in my inbox.

Which I have taken the entire weee hours to read, and weap.

This ends our Homework Series. Stay tuned for other antics, as they arise.

Martin Luther King Jr. Essay


Every day is different because we make it different. Every person is different, just like a snowflake. But they are different in a way that helps support the world in the society we live in today, like individual snowflakes; they all contribute significantly to the beauty and peace of a winter storm. And one idea that a person develops can change the world’s perception on life, for the better; simply because it’s new.

“Martin Luther king began his long and strenuous quest On December 1, 1955, when forty-three year old Rosa Parks boarded a Montgomery, Alabama city bus after finishing work as a tailor's assistant at the Montgomery Fair department store. As all black patrons were required to do, she paid her fair at the front of the bus and then re-boarded in the rear. She sat in a vacant seat in the back next to a man and across the aisle from two women.

After a few stops, the seats in the front of the bus became full, and a white man who had boarded stood in the aisle. The bus driver asked Parks, the man next to her, and the two women to let the white man have their seats. As the others moved, Parks remained in her seat. The bus driver again asked her to move, but she refused. The driver called the police, and she was arrested. She did not know it at the time, but this courageous act would lead to a 382 day bus boycott and the desegregation of buses throughout the United States…” These were the circumstances of Dr. King as described by Jessica McElrath.

Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream. A dream that was distinguishable from all others! He took the ideas from this dream to make one of the most famous speeches in American history. His speech is called “I have a dream.” The definition of dream as is follows: something of unreal beauty. What Martin saw was solely of an unbeknownst beauty that was just waiting to be discovered, as if he knew the beauty that could be of a winter storm. The kind of beauty and peace we still are discovering today.

One quote from this speech is: "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character." For Dr. King to have the ability then to see someone for who they are and not for the color of their skin, their economical standings, or the level of education they have achieved. This ability must be a privilege that, I bet you, is taken for granted by so many today, and yet undiscovered by some.

Martin Luther King was a man that could indeed see people for who they are and what their potential was. He saw America during its most difficult time. The citizens of this country were in peril they were confused and felt threatened thus they resulted in violence and outrage. Famously quoted, "Peace cannot be achieved through violence; it can only be attained through understanding." These wise words from Ralph Waldo Emerson present an inference that violence truly cannot be obtained thru violence but rather by the concept of awareness that we all were created in the image of God to be like Him. And that one person cannot become magnificent without others; without the comprehension that in order to make a snow fort we need each of the individual, the different but necessary snowflakes, to bond together and make something that we all can benefit from.

Martin Luther king saw this violence and realized that it is indeed the last resort a coward has to rely on. Martin Luther king saw this and decided to initiate the undoing of racial segregation and racial discrimination through civil disobedience and other non-violent means. His reputation to do this preceded him. He was so influential that at his “I have a dream” speech in 1963 during the March on Washington there were over two hundred thousand people in attendance.

I have had the chance to hear the stories of the Martin Luther King Jr. assassination. On April 4, 1968 Martin Luther King Jr. was on the balcony of the Lorraine Hotel in Memphis Tennessee. As he lay sprawled on the floor of the balcony blood dripping from his neck; a great man lies dead, a legend was born.

This man gave up his life for a protest against discrimination and violence. James Earl Ray was the man arrested for the assassination of Martin Luther King Jr. But many think he is innocent, even the family of Martin himself continue to wonder.

Martin Luther King Jr. was a man of great ability and great accomplishment. Lloyd Alexander once said "Optimism is essential to achievement and it is also the foundation of courage and true progress." This is a quote that can describe each and every one of us if we allow it to. Who we are today is only part of who we are becoming tomorrow. Martin Luther King Jr. was a man of superb brilliance that took this statement to mind and, therefore, set forth on what he knew would change the world as he had known it. He believed, yes, he had a dream.

Here dies a man who understood what he wanted and he fought for it, his honor, his life, his legacy is testimony of his words, his beliefs, and in losing his life he bore the dream to our Nation. The members of his family and all of those who believed in what he so profoundly spoke of remember his legacy and honor it; those that don’t are truly in a state of confusion. Confused that only one man, Martin Luther King Jr. had enough emotion and willpower to perceive something they couldn’t fathom. Martin Luther King Jr. knew what the problem was; he saw it and went forth so that his children could have a better life. I will let Thomas Carlyle congratulate Martin on his achievements by saying: “Let each become all that he was created capable of being.” Which is exactly what Martin wanted; his dream has become our reality.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

If you give a mom a bath...

This week my husband gave me the pleasure of an invitation to take a relaxing bath.

Here is how it went: to borrow the book If You Give a Mouse a Cookie:

If You Give a Mom a Bath

If you give a mom a bath,
She will need a drink of water,

She will tell you the tub is dirty,
So she will need you to clean it.

While in the tub, she will get hot,
Her drink of water will get warm,
She will need a cup of ice.

She will need some mineral salts,
And noticing that they are out,
Try the bubble bath, and maybe a few oils,
That will work, for a moment.

If the bubbles run low,
She will need more,

Needing more,
You will have to run to the store.
While at the store, pick up a new razor,
Oh and can you get a gallon of milk,

Since you are there,
Pick up some lunch meat.

And the couch cushion needs cleaning
So get some of that.

While you are out could you bring me the phone?
Did you see where my book is?...
Oh, and a candle to read by.

Can you get me an extra towel?
And crack open the window?

I could use some light music,
And maybe a new loofa.

Back from the store,
She will need a new drink.
Could you bring me some Tylenol.
The bath is giving me a headache.

Seriously true, Mr. B didn’t know what to do.

In the tub until 2 (AM, yes, that is two in the morning.)

Okay, so it doesn’t rhyme, but I didn’t want to embellish it.
How long until you think he will pour another bath tub for me?

And by the way, has anyone out there noticed that taking a long hot bath gives you a hangover. I always do get a headache, hence, the Tylonol. I think that my heart pounds so much, my blood pressure must rise. Or maybe because while I am bathing I think too much about everything from how I REALLY feel, to what else I need to be doing. IDK.

Anyhow, happy blogging, and make yourself a happy moment today. Take care.

---blogging my life away

Thought for today. I think I will change my signiture to this. It seems to describe me these days. At least I'm not drinking anymore.

Homework Series, take two: WHAT! Homework???

This is dedicated to S and J, my 9 and 7, BOYS!

quick commercial:
Boys will NOT be boys.
My daughter and I both want a sister, still.

Not that that has anything to do with this post, but we do have some great dress up/future girlfriend photos of the boys in bows and frills.
OHHH if i could show them now.

and now...
Back to S-9 and J-7 and HOMEWORK, take two:

On a sad note to begin, we lost my Grandmothers, both, in the same week this month. Hard times we have been having.

Truly Laughter and Love are the best medicine.

As I mentioned in Series One,
my rant of surface cleaning did not put a dent in the chaos.
So the following morning was Saturday.

music gently playing...
"Saturday is a special day, it's the day we get ready for Sunday..."

Here we are, working diligently on our projects,
after my rant and pleading for forgiveness.

I am going through my STACKS of papers,
looking for some semblance of order
and trying to find anything that is critical.

I come across three WEEKS of school notes, important papers, and HOMEWORK.


What happened to us, three weeks of untouched homework. DUE THREE WEEKS CONSECUTIVELY AGO!

I came home from my week vacation
and what do I have here,
the following three weeks HOMEWORK.

WHaT happened to me.
I guess I was still on vacation.
I have lacked in order, lacked in discipline,

But, I have honored,
cherished, grieved and
loved my Grandmothers,
and losing them is not easy.

Not that excuses are necessary; for all us moms out here and there,
be nice to yourself. Ask me! I am certainly not perfectly perfect, nor am I trying to be.

What would you do? Plead guilty, or insane. I think I will plead insanity.

Parent teacher conferences are coming up.
Do I act innocent? Who me? My kid?

Couldn't be!

Smiling works, pleasantries. Oh the joy!

Coming next: Homework Series, take three: my homework FLUNG up on me (for the finale, G-13, all G.)

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Homework Series, take one: Homework Drama

First post in a three post series.

With 5 of us in school we have a TON of homework at our house.

I found it ironic that so much Homework Drama could come up in one week.

You will get this in three parts.

First, because I really want to portray the DRAMA, like seriously; Soap Opera worthy.

Picture me, Friday….[in this case the dot dot dot does not indicate FUN]

Minding my own business, in the morning, getting the kids off to school.

I have FOUR hours to take an excel test, which I have to go to campus to do. I think I have it in the bag. I will take the test, then come home and shower before I get the kids.

I am logged in; I haven't studied, because like my kids, I think I know it all.

So, plenty of time, open book, should be no problem; I can probably stop at the Arctic Circle for those great Sweet Potato Fries on the way to get the kids, and even air the car out so I don't give myself away.

[When you raise kids with no fast food, they think it stinks, and they can smell it out, and they rat you out to dad SOOO fast you wont be able to blog it.]

Here I am taking the test, minding my own business. Thinking all is well.

NOT WELL. I finish, sweating bullets, the test is so temperamental that it doesn't let you finish answering the question before telling you that you are WRONG.

Now I know how Mr. B feels. I am always RIGHT, and giving him the WRONG que before he finishes.


I know you believe you

understand what

you think I said, BUT

I am not sure that what

you heard

is not what I meant!

HUH, leaves him dumbfounded all the time.

So, back to the test; I FAILED.

Me, a 4.0 student, FAILED an excel test. Yes, 40%, I am not exaggerating.

So frustrating. I sit through an hour of training modules, now I have it, I can retake it.

Optional retaking up to three times. Highest score counted. I can do this.

My dark tunnel has a light.

I have to call and have Mr. B pick up the kids. I won't make it with having to retake the test. I tell him, I have calculated my class grade, projecting what I will get on the final test (power point, got it in the bag, maybe.), and with my homework I will have a 93.4%.

I can just bag it, come home, get the kids, …..or retake the test.

Of course he wants me to retake. I should be home by 1:30 now.

Into test number two. The computer is even more moody.


Now this is becoming personal. I am cussing the computer every time it screws up. People in the computer lab are actually getting up and leaving the scene of what might become a crime.

Test over, failed again. I can't BELIEVE it. Now I am really done. I can beat this. It is just a machine.

I call Mr. B, I won't be coming home, I am going to win, if it takes me all day.

And it did.

Second time through the training modules. I have this memorized now. I have done it twice, I will win.

Now I am keeping score. I am tallying, got it, right, one for me, oh, another one for me. I show the computer, see I am winning.

More computer lab junkies are leaving the scene. I am getting looks, and words I don't normally say are coming so easily. One student who had asked me to do a survey now comes up to me and says, "it's okay, I am just going to take this (unfilled out), you don't need to do it, I don't want to bother you." Very apologetic, as if I would through the machine, or make lewd statements on the survey. Please.

I am winning, take that, heh heh.

Now the computer is mad and it starts to fight back. I am getting kicked out of questions, this is so wrong. I really think it was OUT TO GET ME.

5 questions to go, suddenly I get a machine prompt that in 120 seconds the computer is going to reboot.

Not kidding. I am so shocked as I try to beat the time. This really is a game now.

I lose. The computer reboots. My entire test was taken, ripped from my control.

I think, maybe I can check, it will be there. But the computers have quit for the day. Time is surely up.

I come home defeated. I sit in the car crying. Hopeless, totally frustrated. Worn down, tired, sad, hungry, thirsty, and I forgot my fries.

I check my phone messages.


It is 5pm. My kids have been tending to themselves. Absolutely not okay with me. School is not supposed to interfere with my kids, my family time.

As I come through the door, the crying becomes uncontrollable. So much for keeping a brave face, for being the strength, the all together mom that I am trying to be.

I cry through doing the dishes, J-7 tries to help, I keep crying.

I am not saying nice things, blubbering something to the likes of, "I do everything around here, I can't be gone, nothing gets done." So pathetic.

Here are my four children, alive, being kind to one another. The three younger built a fort; they want me to come see it. In stead I sweep the floor, I vacuum in a tantrum. I do a load of laundry. My punishment for not being home for EIGHT hours. My inflicting emotional pain upon myself.

And all my kids wanted was for me to be okay. G-13 wanted to know I was okay, "mom, when I don't check in every hour you get so mad." "I was just as worried as you get about me."

The kids: "come see our fort, play, lets read some library books in it. Look we have a flashlight."

And me: Move that so I can vacuum there. Bring me up the broom. G-13, get the basement vacuumed. Kids, I want the Halloween stuff put away, ITS NOVEMBER, for all my crying out loud!

Wow, from funny to really sad. As I said; Soap Opera Drama.

That night I looked at my chaos, still all there. The sweeping, vacuuming, and dishes didn't put a dent in it.

Then I looked at my kids, happily tucked away by their dad, in the fort to spend the night.

And me, crying in my room, remembering when I made the forts with them, they didn't come down for seasons. It was our hideout. I played, and laughed.

What has happened to me?

With the new day, we made a plan. A plan that began with me asking them to forgive me. To please know that I wish I could take it back. I love school, learning, one test shouldn't crush me so terribly. Really, it was that I had missed being with them. I had missed being a better mom. I miss the mom I used to be. And onto our plan. I told the kids that whatever they didn't want to have to clean up someday when B and I are gone, needs to be organized now, or it is theirs to keep. Scary enough that they keep asking me for projects. The reward. A cleaner home, a more organized home, a schedule we can all get along with, and one special treat they all voted on that will be absolutely fun to earn together.!!!!

Better days are ahead, stay tuned.

Oh and PS: The professor emailed today. The test was sabotaged. He couldn't even task it, so now I get to take the new test on Wednesday.

Coming Tuesday: Homework Series, take two: WHAT! Homework??? (Staring S-9 and J-7, a bit of Cece-11)

And finally Wednesday: Homework Series, take three: my homework FLUNG up on me (for the finale, G-13, all G.)

Monday, November 17, 2008

cassettes and bar soap

this won't be as funny to you as to me.

today I had two ortho appointments, I point out TWO because that means I have two kids in braces, oh please help.

at the office I am reading a news article about layaway, with the increase in economic troubles people are going back to layaways for christmas, birthdays, etc. (for us it may have to be groceries soon enough, which could be troubling since i couldn't plan for next months dinners any better than i plan tonights.

reminder to self: i am the mother, i have to feed and water the kids.)

my daughter leans over and says, "what's layaway." funny she should ask, the article just pointed out that kids today think that layaway is old folks way of talking about dating.

so i am thinking that this goes along with my picking my jaw up off the floor last night with my 9 year old son comes to me with a cassette tape and asks what it is. I tell him, "its a cassette tape."

puzzeled, he asks, "yeah, okay, so what is a cassette tape? it's not sticky" (i.e. the tape, which he is now pulling out of the cassette. - are kids born with that temptation, i had forgotten how many of those my oldest ruined because he was being two, hence me putting them far far away.)

i take him into the front room where we have our record player, yes a real record player, which we play our RECORDS on. The kids understand records, they are just really big cd's.

i show him that music comes off of tapes, "you know, like with video tapes."

"whats a video tape?" he asks.

Here we go again! "never mind." i say. "they are from the olden days."

"oh, you mean when you and dad were born. okay."

Yes son, before dirt was invented.

shortly there after i am in the bathroom with my 7 year old. we are out of hand soap, (the pump kind), so i hand him MY bar soap from the shower (which by the way, i keep in the shower on one of those sticky up things WAY UP HIGH, because kids think a bar of soap is for melting in the tub these days.)

he looks confused.

"how do i use it?"

seriously. I have to explain, you get it a little wet, rub it on your hand, you have soap.

"it smells yummy."

"NO YOU DONT EAT IT. it smells like mommy, it's my soap."

"oh, when did they start making soap like this."

yes, i am beginning to feel like i am from the dark ages, living in the twilight zone.

"It just came out, buddy, it's the newest thing."

"oh, can Santa bring me some."

Of course.

So I guess I wont need layaway for this child, just a few bars of soap in his stocking. And a walkman for my 9 year old. We are set!

Now about the two in braces.... never mind.

PS (just added this thought): I couldn't think of a better title, any suggestions!

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Tag, YOU are ALL it!

TaGGed bY:
check out her site and her tag answers. EXCELLENT

iN pROCeeS...

From Naulu Tribe:
"My good cyber friend Sue has done a wonderful job creating this for us, soooooo---"

1. What is your Fav. Temple and why?-----

The Salt Lake Temple.

Because I have spent much time there with my children.

My hope is to be able to go to the temple in a few months.
I am trying so hard to right my life to be worthy
to have my eternal family and to be able
to bless my children with that promise.
I love to be there. Having a picnic on the temple grounds.
Going to the visitors center for all
the wonderful discussions by the Sister Missionaries. The movies....

Seeing the statue of Jesus.
The beautiful paintings. Learning about the temple being built;
the MANY years it took. The granite stones brought from the mountains.
The majestic process. The obedience and patience.
I gain so much from the process of this temple.
The men who didn't live to see it in its final process,
but spent their lives,
their entire being to give this to us today.
It is amazing.
I feel that it inspires me to continue on my way
to the temple someday.
i AM gOiNG thERe sOMeDay!!!

2. My favorite calling that I've had in the church--

My all time FAVORITE calling was Primary Chorister.
I had served as nursery leader for 3 years;
PriMAry pResIDent for 7 years;
released, took on Ward Activity CHaiR;
then called as CHORISTER. Oh my,

The presence of the spirit as the children sing those songs.
LEarning and LOVIng tHe songs in the Childrens SongBook.
Truly gaining and sharing a testimony through sinGinG.
Yes, my favorite.

3. What has been your hardest calling in the church---

Activity chair. I was aching and missing primary so much.
I also had to be released as a Visiting Teacher many years
ago because I felt so much insecurity trying to teach amazing
women. It caused me great anxiety. I think that I still
have some sadness that I have missed loving and serving
as a VIsiTinG TeaCHer. regrets.....

4.Favorite scripture story--

The Sword of the Lord and of Gideon

(see Ensign Magazine [], Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints,
April 2002, The Sword of the Lord and of Gideon)

Gideon, in the Bible. Judges 6:11-8:35

I love that story because Gideon was the weakest. He felt so inadequate, but the Lord called him to do something, and even in his weakness he accepted the call. The Lord told him,
"the Lord is with you...go in the strength you have..."

"So often the Lord calls inexperienced people..." (Ensign, April 2002)

"The first assignments are often smaller
and yet truly significant and assist those called
in strengthening their own families."

"He often calls them from obscurity and weakness
...and tells them to go in the strength you have..."

The Gideon story teaches faith and trust in God,
that he will provide a way to do what ever he asks of us.

"God does not begin by asking about our ability,
but only our availability,
and if we then prove our dependability,
he will increase our capability.
(Ensign, April 2002)

I also love and try to live by 1 Nephi 3:7. "I will go and do the things that the Lord hath commanded me, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, Save he shall prepare a way for them to accomplish that which he hath commanded them." (from my memory, probably not accuretly quoted)

And finally, I LOVE the story of Job. I feel I relate to His journey:

I have worn out my scriptures reading the Book of Job.

Job10:1, "My soul is weary of my life..."
Job 10:15, "I am full of confusion.."
Job 11:7 "Canst thou by SEARCHING find out God?"...
though even his friends scorn him, he TESTIFYs
Job 19:25, "For I know that my redeemer liveth,
and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth."

Job 7:13, "My bed shall comfort me,
my couch shall ease my complaint."
Job 6:8, "Oh that I might have my request;
and that God would grant me the thing that I long for."

Job seeking RELIEF.

Job 16:20, "My friends scorn me:
but mine eye poureth out tears unto God."
Job 23:2, "Even to day is my complaint bitter:
Job 23:6, "...but he would put strength in me."

Job lost everything in his life,
he suffered so much and he was so human.
He complained, he pleaded, he cried out,
and wept on his couch!

Job repented, and:
Job 42:3, "Who is he that hideth counsel without knowledge?
therefore had I uttered that I understood not;
things too wonderful form me, which I knew not."

He had not seen that the Lord gave council,
that wonderful peace and comfort was always available,
through repentance.

Job 42:10....{you go to it.}

Find your peace in the answer that the Lord gave to Job,
when all was said and done.

5. Where would you like to serve a mission?--

First I would choose Scottland, Denmark, and Ireland.
My GranDmoTher, who just passed away,
served three missions to these countries.
I would love to follow in her footsteps. And to serve where my roots are.....

Also, I love Japan, or Australia.
Meeting the people of those countries,
although i only MET a few
[they well represented their country],
and they seemed so wonderful.

I would love to serve in Africa,
or South America.
as long as I could do a couple mission.

6. When did you know the Gospel was true?--
I think that my testimony is still growing.
I am serving as first Counselor in the RElieF SoCIetY.
I feel that I am still gaining a testimony
of individual concepts as I grow in the gospel.

In primary I learned much.
I am a child of God, A daughter of God.
I know He loves me, I want to serve Him.
I believe that Following the Prophets council is good.
I love to read the ScripTurEs.
I want my Family to be Together ForEvER.
I know that Jesus LiveD.

7.Who has been a spiritual giant in your life?--
My Grandfather. He is my mentor, my hero,
much of who I am becoming is because of him.

I have a private post about him.
Maybe some of it will beposted in the future.

He is amazing. I love to walk with him, talk with him,
have a noon time meal.

I love to share books, thoughts, scriptures, and song.
He is wARd ChorIsTER.
i love to hear him sing [as he practices] the songs each week.
and too look up scriptures with him, what an amazing time.

He is my inspiration, my focus to prepare to go to the temple.
I want to be bound to my family,
from those before me,
to my little ones, and those to come.

My Grandmother, his sweetheart, just passed away as well.

Two grandmothers, in october, both in the same week.

Very HARD.

My grandmother is my gardian angel.
She was in this life, and I know that she is now.
Watching over me, and my little children.
When I close my eyes,
ponder quietly,
she is there.
Beautiful and dear.


Again QUOTE Naulu Tribe:
"This tag is passed on to everyone.
Everyone who comes to my blog,
everyone who has seen this,
I encourage to stand up and show everyone this tag...

It's a good one,

Now go getter done...."

Ditto! My sentiments, try it out.

Great Tag!
I would love to hear from everyone,
all over the world.

Tagged....YOURE IT.

1. What is your Favorite Temple and why?-----

2. My favorite calling that I've had in the church--

3. What has been your hardest calling in the church---

4. Favorite scripture story--

5. Where would you like to serve a mission?--

6. When did you know the Gospel was true?--

7. Who has been a spiritual giant in your life?--

P.S. Let me know when you do it.

on marriage

'Will you, um, marry me?' I haven't seen you in weeks! You don't look happy or excited about the prospect of our marriage! You're asking me to give up my - my freedom, my joie de vivre for an institution that fails as often as it succeeds? And why should I marry you anyway? I mean, why do you wanna marry me? Besides some bourgeois desire to fulfill an ideal that society embeds in us from an early age to promote a consumer capitalist agenda?