Friday, November 7, 2008

isn't that illegal

No surprise that I would be writing about something illegal, however this came up, I have a dear friend who said I should be sharing these goes.

You would think after so many years of parenting experience...ha ha ha....that things like this would not happen. Alas, maturity would be a key element in preventing me from my own demise.

Our morning routine is a chaotic as anyone's, in the process of getting one husband to work, four kids and a niece to school, and being presentable to be in class, in my seat by 9 am. Okay, 9 am....I should be able to sleep in, right?


5:30 - alarms (plural) go off. Plural because there is dad's alarm, my alarm, the boys room, Cece's and G's....all going off at random times depending on who pushes their sleep button more.

6:00....I am finally getting up, rushing to one of three bathrooms, all being used. Is it okay for Mom's to squat in the backyard. I think we will put in an outhouse, for camping practice purposes, of course.

By 6:30...we should be saying goodbye to Daddy, walking the dog, feeding the cat, fish, frog, hamster, and tarantula, as well as filling four children's bellies (why did I ever give up coffee???)

7am - last call for showers. I am finally getting in, hoping for warm water, and knowing that in 15 minutes I need to be making lunches.

7:20 - G comes in and asks, "Mom, can you make my lunch today?" (Generally his responsibility, but he is running late.) To which I reply, "I can either make you a lunch or get dressed!" He answers, "Okay, thanks mom."

7:23 - Me making lunches (in my robe). Thinking that G will wander by, notice, and pitch in.

7:40 - doing dishes, putting finishing touches on lunches, and grabbing my keys IN MY ROBE to drive G to school.

7:40 and a few seconds - J panicking "Are you seriously driving G to school in THAT?" Me, "Yes and when I get back if you are not ready I will be driving you and walking you to class in THIS!"

7:45 - One late niece....have to get G to school so (AND HERE IS WHERE I WENT WRONG) ...leaving the kids home - Cece, S and J - I drive G to school.

No, no accident in which I would be mortified in my robe. I wasn't lucky enough. I was hoping this would be the grand lesson for G-jr. high, but not today. He barely even noticed that I had driven him in my robe....however, he did notice that I made him a lunch.

8:00 - arrive back at home to find the boys locked in the dog kennel, by their sister, "if they weren't acting like dogs, I wouldn't treat them like dogs."

And finally, after school when we had our family discussions about the day, upon F finding out that his sister had done this act of imprisonment to her brothers, he pipes in "isn't that illegal". Well, look who just caught on. I wish I was still in my robe.

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on marriage

'Will you, um, marry me?' I haven't seen you in weeks! You don't look happy or excited about the prospect of our marriage! You're asking me to give up my - my freedom, my joie de vivre for an institution that fails as often as it succeeds? And why should I marry you anyway? I mean, why do you wanna marry me? Besides some bourgeois desire to fulfill an ideal that society embeds in us from an early age to promote a consumer capitalist agenda?