this won't be as funny to you as to me.
today I had two ortho appointments, I point out TWO because that means I have two kids in braces, oh please help.
at the office I am reading a news article about layaway, with the increase in economic troubles people are going back to layaways for christmas, birthdays, etc. (for us it may have to be groceries soon enough, which could be troubling since i couldn't plan for next months dinners any better than i plan tonights.
reminder to self: i am the mother, i have to feed and water the kids.)
my daughter leans over and says, "what's layaway." funny she should ask, the article just pointed out that kids today think that layaway is old folks way of talking about dating.
so i am thinking that this goes along with my picking my jaw up off the floor last night with my 9 year old son comes to me with a cassette tape and asks what it is. I tell him, "its a cassette tape."
puzzeled, he asks, "yeah, okay, so what is a cassette tape? it's not sticky" (i.e. the tape, which he is now pulling out of the cassette. - are kids born with that temptation, i had forgotten how many of those my oldest ruined because he was being two, hence me putting them far far away.)
i take him into the front room where we have our record player, yes a real record player, which we play our RECORDS on. The kids understand records, they are just really big cd's.
i show him that music comes off of tapes, "you know, like with video tapes."
"whats a video tape?" he asks.
Here we go again! "never mind." i say. "they are from the olden days."
"oh, you mean when you and dad were born. okay."
Yes son, before dirt was invented.
shortly there after i am in the bathroom with my 7 year old. we are out of hand soap, (the pump kind), so i hand him MY bar soap from the shower (which by the way, i keep in the shower on one of those sticky up things WAY UP HIGH, because kids think a bar of soap is for melting in the tub these days.)
he looks confused.
"how do i use it?"
seriously. I have to explain, you get it a little wet, rub it on your hand, you have soap.
"it smells yummy."
"NO YOU DONT EAT IT. it smells like mommy, it's my soap."
"oh, when did they start making soap like this."
yes, i am beginning to feel like i am from the dark ages, living in the twilight zone.
"It just came out, buddy, it's the newest thing."
"oh, can Santa bring me some."
So I guess I wont need layaway for this child, just a few bars of soap in his stocking. And a walkman for my 9 year old. We are set!
Now about the two in braces.... never mind.
PS (just added this thought): I couldn't think of a better title, any suggestions!
'Will you, um, marry me?' I haven't seen you in weeks! You don't look happy or excited about the prospect of our marriage! You're asking me to give up my - my freedom, my joie de vivre for an institution that fails as often as it succeeds? And why should I marry you anyway? I mean, why do you wanna marry me? Besides some bourgeois desire to fulfill an ideal that society embeds in us from an early age to promote a consumer capitalist agenda?