processing loss is so hard. just trying to push through and the only easy part is loving those around me who are hurting so much more than i can imagine. it's easy to love them but the pain of the reality that i can't do anything to make it better...my loving them is not enough.
i think the anger stage is really the hardest part because in order to heal you have to let go of this feeling; anger is no way to live. and yet it is all i feel right now. it has been two weeks...and one day...and i am weak.
'Will you, um, marry me?' I haven't seen you in weeks! You don't look happy or excited about the prospect of our marriage! You're asking me to give up my - my freedom, my joie de vivre for an institution that fails as often as it succeeds? And why should I marry you anyway? I mean, why do you wanna marry me? Besides some bourgeois desire to fulfill an ideal that society embeds in us from an early age to promote a consumer capitalist agenda?