Monday, May 17, 2010

i am NOT a morning person


i am not a morning person*.

*unless i am fishing
or have a camera
and
a perfectly painted sky

first to admit that i am a lousy cranky mess most mornings.

even the word morning...sounds like mourning....therefore it is grief to me. i have to wake up on my own, or at least be allowed to believe that i woke up on my own, even if such waking was nudged a little by someone poking me until i began to stir. at that point....let me be to stretch, yawn, and awaken. then i am bliss. i don't mind the sun shining in.



[heaven forbid i wake up to darkness,
that might warrant
wearing a caution sign
around my neck!]


this morning Mr. B cheerfully brings me prune juice. 6:30 am and he feels it necessary to be the bearer of bad fruit.



Seriously. so i am up.


...and i react. i make the bed, angerly.




i head into the bathroom and brush my teeth....which mistake i will pay for later....drinking prune juice is bad enough, drinking it with morning breath is better than a fresh palate expecting something delectable.

prune juice is NOT delectable.

and so I am grumpy,




and i have spent the morning pouting and reacting.
choosing an attitude
that
perpetuates
only
my own misery.


could i have just thanked him?

could i have just fallen back to slumber after smiling peacefully up at my best friend and BEST advocate for my health?



i mean really,
he was just doing what he feels is
best for my healing and my health.



he loves me....loves me not is NOT an option.


really....so now I regret.

i got up.

i asked him in about 12 different ways why he was so bent on me being awake.

did he need something?
did he just want me to stay in the habit of waking early?

was he upset that i was still lounging while he was making the lunches?



is my healing taking to long....?


finally he just looked at me,
took the glass of prune juice and drank it himself.




he wasn't trying to torture me.
he was just trying to be nice.




to make sure i had something beside my bed
when i woke up
something healthy
because he loves me
and for some weird reason
he wants to wake up next to me
for many many more mornings




mornings.....i may hate them....
but i hate WORSE
the thought of him waking up without me,
or me without him.

and so i poured myself another glass of prune juice,
drank it
and hugged him,
before heading back to bed.


GOOD morning????
yep, i suppose it was.

2 comments:

Heatherlyn said...

Did you take that picture? It really is beautiful!

I'm not a fan of prune juice. I'm especially NOT a fan of waking up before the sun is up. But husbands who are thoughtful? I'm a fan of that!

Liz said...

NEVER a morning person!!!

on marriage

'Will you, um, marry me?' I haven't seen you in weeks! You don't look happy or excited about the prospect of our marriage! You're asking me to give up my - my freedom, my joie de vivre for an institution that fails as often as it succeeds? And why should I marry you anyway? I mean, why do you wanna marry me? Besides some bourgeois desire to fulfill an ideal that society embeds in us from an early age to promote a consumer capitalist agenda?