Wednesday, June 3, 2009

ROFLMBO

The next SURVIVOR
SERIES

Six married men
will be dropped on an island with one car and

3 kids each for six weeks.


Each kid will play two sports
and take either music or
dance classes.

There is no fast food.

Each man must
take care of his 3 kids
;
keep his assigned house clean ,

correct all homework,
complete science projects,
cook ,
do laundry,
and pay a list of 'pretend' bills
with not enough money
.

In addition, each man
will have to budget in money
for groceries each week
.


Each man
must remember the birthdays
of all their friends and relatives,
and
send cards out on time--no emailing .

Each man must also take each child
to a doctor's appointment,
a
dentist appointment
and a
haircut appointment .

He must make one unscheduled and
inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent
Care.

He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.

Each man will be responsible for
decorating his own assigned house,

planting flowers outside, and keeping it presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

The men must shave their legs ,
wear makeup daily ,
adorn themselves with jewelry,
wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes ,
keep fingernails polished,
and eyebrows groomed.


During one of the six weeks ,
the
men will have to endure severe
abdominal cramps, back aches,
have extreme, unexplained mood swings
but never once complain or slow down
from other duties
.


They must attend weekly school meetings and
church ,
and find time at least once to spend
the afternoon at the park or a similar
setting.


They will need to read a book to the kids
each
night and in the morning,
feed them ,
dress them,
brush their teeth and
comb their hair
by 7:00 am.

A test
will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be
required to know all of the following information:
each child's
birthday,
height, weight,
shoe size, clothes size,
doctor's name,
the child's weight at birth,
length, time of birth,
and length of labor,
each child's favorite color,
middle name,
favorite snack,
favorite song,
favorite drink,
favorite toy,
biggest fear,
and what they want to be when they grow up.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance.

The last man wins only if...
he still
has enough energy
to be intimate with his spouse
at a moment's
notice.


If the last man does win,
he can play the game over and over and over
again for the next 18-25 years,
eventually earning the right
to be called Mother!

15 comments:

Shauna said...

L♥ve and hugs to you my precious friend!

Kay Dennison said...

There will be no survivors after a week!

Jillene said...

THIS IS THE BEST POST EVER!!

Shadow said...

how fabulous. you sure there'll be any entrants though????

Devri said...

rofl!

Heatherlyn said...

Only 3 kids? That's nothing. :)

LeShel said...

crap, I don't think I could survive that!

Sue Q said...

OH


MY


HECK


!!!


Could I possibly laugh any harder? WITHOUT wetting my pants in the process?

This was brilliant! Sheer genius. I'm printing it off and circulating it through Relief Society on Sunday! I seriously think you should submit this idea to all the network executives on the planet!

Chief said...

I may have to print this and post it on my fridge.

LarryG said...

mom's are truly amazing...

Annette Lyon said...

Pure genius, I tell you!

Shawn said...

I just love this!!!! I laughed out loud several times.

I am going to make SURE that my hubby reads this one!!

Wendyburd1 said...

LOVE this!! But do they have to wear a bra too? Please say yes!

Kate said...

I think that would be awesome if they had to experience it for even one day.

Lynn said...

Great post...how did I ever do all that and survive ???

on marriage

'Will you, um, marry me?' I haven't seen you in weeks! You don't look happy or excited about the prospect of our marriage! You're asking me to give up my - my freedom, my joie de vivre for an institution that fails as often as it succeeds? And why should I marry you anyway? I mean, why do you wanna marry me? Besides some bourgeois desire to fulfill an ideal that society embeds in us from an early age to promote a consumer capitalist agenda?