Monday, June 22, 2009

I let her go....

Girls Wilderness Camp...

This morning I got up, showered, dressed, had some juice, woke Cece, talked with her while she straitened things up, sat with her while she made some buttermilk sourdough cinnamon french toast [her favorite], watched her tiptoe into her brothers rooms and gently say good morning and see ya later, took her to the store for a sprite, some crackers, a candy bar - Hershey of course, took her to the Ward building, peeked over at her brave face, holding back the tears that she has been so accustomed to shedding as she prepared for this next step in her life, got out of the car, held both of her hands for at least a half an hour, hugged her a dozen times, kissed both cheeks, hugged her again, smiled to hold back the tears, and let go. I let her go, she ran over to her leaders car, turned right around and ran back. I hugged her again, and this time she handed me her open hand, I knew what she wanted, a kissing hand...like in the story that I read to her when she went to preschool, a kissing hand....like the one that I gave her when she went to kindergarten, a kissing hand....like the one I gave her as she drifted off to sleep before she got her appendix out, a kissing hand....like the one that I gave her before she took to singing role in the school play, a kissing hand.... and she was gone. Now all I have is prayer, and the knowledge that I have done my best. I have taught her well. She has faith and courage, divine nature, knows her individual worth, feels that she is in the arms of One who will comfort her. I have done all that I can, and she will be able to do the rest. This week she will laugh, she will fall asleep wishing she was home, wishing that her daddy and I were there with her, she will cry a little. She will love a lot, and she will learn. She will come home with more knowledge and testimony of who she is and whom she is becoming. I let her go....

6 comments:

Cynthia said...

Awhh, what a beautiful post. She'll have a wonderful time and it is probably harder on you than her! It's both wonderful and hard to watch them grow up.

Femin Susan said...

Those are absolutely fascinating. Wonderful post! Blessings to you and your family……

Heatherlyn said...

Your post was really truly beautiful.

I'm sure that she will be fine.

Just wait about 4 years when she goes away to college ... :)

Wendyburd1 said...

Awwww! Just so you know, as a VERY shy YW 12 year old AND a homebody, I was scared of Girls Camp that first year, but the experience was SO wonderful, the Spirit was so there, I ended up getting the "Biggest Smile" award for 1st Year girls!! And since I loved it SO much, the next year my Mom was a camp counselor for one of the groups and she loved it and did it for years too!

Sue Q said...

So sweet. Why didn't you go with her?!! I'm going to camp for the 25th time this summer, and with my two oldest girls, and as far as I'm concerned, I want to die and be buried behind the mess hall! I LIVE FOR GIRLS CAMP! And I would do anything to go, even scrub the pit toilets!

I'm kind of psycho that way....

Good luck to your daughter, and may she have many wonderful girls camp memories to last her a lifetime!

Shadow said...

...and let them go we have to. hugs to you!

on marriage

'Will you, um, marry me?' I haven't seen you in weeks! You don't look happy or excited about the prospect of our marriage! You're asking me to give up my - my freedom, my joie de vivre for an institution that fails as often as it succeeds? And why should I marry you anyway? I mean, why do you wanna marry me? Besides some bourgeois desire to fulfill an ideal that society embeds in us from an early age to promote a consumer capitalist agenda?