Friday, March 19, 2010

order of BE YOURSELF to go, please!

I was sitting at a stoplight, minding my own business, finishing up a Snickers bar for breakfast, and on my way home from taking the kids to school this morning when suddenly the car next to me began to go. Of course all my instincts were to follow, LUNGE and move forward with the car next to me.
I was so busy in my Snickers Bar that I failed to look for myself.

After an abrupt stop partially into the intersection I looked behind me and to both my sides.
The car behind me had followed me....and
seeing my MISTAKE
he was snickering with the car next to him....

"look at THAT driver", I imagined him thinking.
Probably on the phone...painting her nails,
putting on mascara, eating a SNICKERS!!!!

I was sure that he was just picking me apart for my mistake.
In that moment the whole world could see me
in my underwear as far as I was concerned.

Thankful that it wasn't a worse scenario I decided to suck it up and just let him laugh....likely he wasn't thinking any of the things that I was thinking about myself.
I am so good at that.
...thinking the worst of myself,
and thinking that others
are thinking the worst of me well.

It is common for me to see what others are doing and think,
"okay, so that is what I SHOULD be doing, right?"

Then typically I remember that I have never done what I think others think I should be doing, and I really have generally cared less if others think I am right or I am wrong.
I live by the live and let live motto.
I know that 90% cases I would be absolutely miserable to force myself to be LIKE that person, or to have their LIFE.

I enjoy mine, I am satisfied with being ME,
and I make my decisions from the gut.
Generally and most often I am very content with the decisions I make,
they don't always turn out for the best,
but they are my decisions...
thus, happiness,
thus, peace,
thus, continue moving forward...

And that goes well for today's thought.
Today I had an epiphany.
Another epiphany,
a new realization....a very physical one.

Had I moved completely forward further into the intersection the outcome of my mistake in following the person next to me would have and could have been tragic. It was a BUSY BUSY intersection. People are scurrying to work and to school, and I would have been IN THEIR WAY.

The outcome would have been: Mother of four, seriously maimed this morning while eating a snickers bar. She chose to follow the person next to her and it wasn't her path, wasn't her right of way, and she is suffering devastating consequences, consequences that now effect those lovely children she had just delivered to school.

Had I followed the person next to me I would have had to turn RIGHT. That person was headed in a DIFFERENT direction then I needed to go. The right direction for them but NOT the RIGHT direction for ME. Their path did not lead to my home.

My Home Sweet Home.

Where I WANT to BE!

I am just thinking....but what I am thinking is this is bigger than just looking for yourself and choosing for yourself when you are driving.

This is looking for the right things in your life, not your neighbors, not your best friend, your sister, your brother, your mom/dad/grandpa...

This is choosing for yourself after seeing all the choices and knowing in your gut that what you are choosing is right for you.

Today, I want a

I don't want to lose my life
trying to live someone elses ways.

I want to have
good ideas
and direction,
and momentum,
and GUT instincts
that what I choose for myself is okay FOR ME!!!

I want my own satisfaction...
not someone else's!

I don't want to be in a four alarm disaster ...
i don't want to BE A

a consequence of thinking it was time to go
and right for me
because the person next to me did.

I want to be me.

Live and LET Live,
and cEleBrATe our differences.

If God wanted one personality he would have stopped with Adam. Obviously he had a better idea...and created EVE!
And the up to [me] and you!

Yes...being ME Satisfies!


Anonymous said...

Hi. I linked to you from MMB. Great perspective. I like those little parables life gives us.

Wendyburd1 said...

That is an amazing way of seeing life. I wish I could be more like you, but like my blogs title, it is just not me. And I am kinda sad this time!

Cynthia said...

Great post! We seem to have had similar epithanies!

This year my 'word of the year' is 'DARE!!!' (the triple exclamation points are to denote the 'triple dog dare'). I was driven to that word of the year because I knew I was living too safe of a life- and NOT the one that had everything in it that I wanted. I suppose I had a little ephithany like yours and decided to act on it. Some pretty cool things have happened as a result and I know I'm headed in the right direction. It's not the direction that others may choose but I'm sure enjoying it.

Heatherlyn said...

Good post and true post. The right direction for someone else isn't the right direction for everyone else. So true. Which makes it even more important for us not to judge!

Sherrie Shepherd Piano Music said...

Amen! I'm on a serious mission to put an end to the pretending to be perfectly perfect. We should just be who we are and be happy with it!!!
Thanks for your message, today!

Cheeseboy said...

Since it was a Snickers, I think that is why it is all okay. It satisfies. A Milky Way could have spelled disaster.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

I do like ur article~!!!..................................................

Rachelle said...

hi. i found you from mmb and just wanted to say howdy! love your blog. can't wait to read more!

Phillip and Maggi said...

I'm so glad I found you! Ok so you found me and i'm just finding out that you found me. I don't have your e-mail or i'd hit you up for an invite to your family blog. Hope the family is great, I sure miss home... Send me your e-mail on my blog and i'll try and keep in touch through bloggy land.

Liz said...

Put those Snickers away when you put the key in your Toyota!!!! :O)
Could you bring me one???

Anonymous said...


LeShel said...

mmmm, most delicious snicker i ever ate was this post.

Anonymous said...

Some people cannot see the wood for the trees.......................................................

Anonymous said...

成人色情圖片激情聊天室火辣美眉520sex赤裸美女成人自拍貼圖18限性影片觀賞av色情影音聊天手淫激情成人聊天室成人色情圖片網sex520自拍走光照片淫慾18禁成人影音聊天美女台灣性網限制級女生手淫成人聊天春宮裙底風光情趣丁字褲極度震撼情色論壇露點成人視訊聊天avlive show愛愛明星露點台灣色情網站自慰少婦成人聊天網美女視訊成人頻道人妻熟女蕩婦一對多激情成人色情聊天室av成人上空秀巨奶視訊網愛聊天室一夜正妹色情貼片一對多免費美女視訊粉紅乳頭作愛影片美女聊天sexy成人色情圖片網女人胸部圖片視訊色情情色網站性關係辣妹聊天室大奶子

on marriage

'Will you, um, marry me?' I haven't seen you in weeks! You don't look happy or excited about the prospect of our marriage! You're asking me to give up my - my freedom, my joie de vivre for an institution that fails as often as it succeeds? And why should I marry you anyway? I mean, why do you wanna marry me? Besides some bourgeois desire to fulfill an ideal that society embeds in us from an early age to promote a consumer capitalist agenda?