Way-Back WHEN --nesday

"let me tell you a thing or two"

These were taken about 4 years ago,
half the years of my boys life ♥

It happened to be a few days before
Christmas.

What's a boy going to do
with all that excitement?

He told me he wanted to
talk to the dog.
Taking Emma outside
he had a chat with
her about Santa
and Christmas,

...and learning to S I T...

so that Santa would bring
her a big bone for a present.
Ahhhh, precious memories
of little ones days gone by.

i miss em!look closely here...Emma is getting a finger flick,
she needs to "mind me", he would say...."Now SIT."

Wordless Wednesday

Sound Familiar?

Life Drain

As soon as I read this discussion in my Marriage and Family course today I felt like I could write a novel about the subject.

The question is regarding work and role overload and asks how a family manages to balance all they are responsible for without losing sight of what is most important to them.

It also asked how a woman can carry a full-time job, while going back to school, in a relationship and motherhood, ...SUCCESSFULLY???

[sounds familiar....with hope for success]

Ironically I have been asking myself this very question....not in such an eloquently rhetorical expression.
My simple question is

how to remain human while raising them.

However the question is posed....here is my summation:

We are in serious work/school/raising kids overload right now.

Our kids are 15, 13, 10, and 8 years old. My husband has a job that keeps him from 8 am until 8 pm everyday. He is committed to time with me and the family as much as he can possibly give.

One solution for his demanding schedule is that we have a date every Wednesday evening. The kids actually spend the night at their Aunts house. She did not have children of her own and so it is a blessing on both sides. The kids look forward to it, and we enjoy the time together.

My husband is also home in the mornings for breakfast and for getting the kids off to school; he does the bedtime routine of stories, brushing teeth, prayers, and tucking the kids in at night.

We have had to do a lot of balancing to get to this point.

During the summers he comes home for lunch, and we have discussed having him take a late lunch during the school year so that he can have dinner with us.

Every Monday Night we have Family Night, something our church promotes, and so on that night he makes every effort to get home EARLY.

I think that we have to keep in mind that what works today is not what will work tomorrow, and it is certainly not how we have always done things.

We have to be flexible, communicate A LOT, and deal with the circumstances and changes that come with our kids growing ages and stages.

We both have community and church responsibilities as well. We have to work together to be sure that someone is always with the children and that they are not being put on the back burner for our other interests.

The significant thing is that our sight is set to our children, our family and the needs there being met with priority. The children and our relationship are the most important parts of this.

We have to consider every persons needs; gratitude, compassion, consideration and communication are key.

My full-time job is being a Mother and Wife, I am in school three-quarter time and have been for 4 years now. My answer to the question regarding how a woman can maintain her relationship is locked up in all that I have already said. Communication and time together is priority. You definitely have to be creative in making things work and remember what is most important.

This may be my last semester for a while, sadly, yet it is what is necessary. It is about me being flexible, recognizing what is in the best interest of my children, my family, my relationship, and good health.

Our childrens' ages are requiring a great deal more and with my husbands hours I am solely responsible for their afterschool/homework/social/emotional needs. They need more of me now than they used to, and there is a great deal more to their needs.

As a family we have communicated, and have come up with the best interest for them and for us. It doesn't feel like quitting, just a breather so that they have the best childhood that we can give them.

Whenever we have found ourselves in conflict we take the time to communicate and to brain storm together until we come up with what we feel is best for our family as a whole. This course has helped me make the decision because I realize how crucial this period of their childhood is.

Our family relationships depend on making decisions that are in the best interest of us as a whole unit.

My summary: Communicate, compassion, family time, conflict solving, ...SUCCESS.

I see that there is a great deal of work and role overload just managing the lives of our children and balance with our relationship as a couple.

I did not know it would ever be quite like this but we are committed to doing our best for them and for each other. The pendulum swings both directions:

however difficult that some days can be,

the blessings
and the good times
are full reward.

Work together, be committed, work hard, be loving, work willingly, and it will work!

wOrDLesS WeDNEsDaY ♥

wAy bAck WHEN---esdAy ♥

Pre-"I want a mullet" days...

Way back when they were little ---er!

When I see pictures
like these it reminds me
to cherish the moments
that we have now,

for soon enough today

will too be WAY BACK WHEN....

...when they were little ---er ♥

WHAT'S IN A MULLET?

REMEMBER THIS? [posted previously 11/29/08]


what to do?
Our youngest wants to grow all the back of his hair and keep the front short.

SOUNDS LIKE A MULLET.

he already has the vest to go with the look; SCARY!!!




VOTE:

yes, we allow him to be creative

maybe, might be good to get it out of his system now

no, ABSOLUTELY a bad idea.

the emphasis on the no part is in no way to dissuade you from your opinion.



He, too, has been taking votes,
and so far the mullet is winning. (HELP!)

we could always get him the wig ☺

wELL...THE votes CAME iN:

and the following was posted ---

...it's haircut day.

Mr. B and the young Lad come home,
he is shaved, perfect future missionary haircut,

except that he is 7,
and has 11 more years to have hair
before the days of balded bliss.

Mr. B brings him in: Mom, check out the new cut.

Me: I can see who won that debate.

Mr. B: I think he looks good.

little Lad: Yeah, well Olivia C. wont think so.
She told me she wanted me
to grow my hair out.

[Now we know the method behind the madness,
always a girl involved.]


Mr. B: You look good buddy.

Son: THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK!
(as he runs to his room,
at least he hasn't learned
to slam the doors, YET.)


Me to Mr. B: You should have just let him get the mullet.
(even i can't believe that i heard myself say that.)

Mr. B now is desperate to heal the broken heart of his child.

Who wouldn't want to?

Father to Son: You look cute buddy.
It's a great haircut.
It is just like mine.

Son to Father:
That's because you
don't have any hair,
you have to cut your hair that way.

[me thinking: GOOD POINT]

OUCH!

Dad to Son: It will grow out.

Son: Not in one day.
AND now my neck is going to be cold.

(thanks to my sister,
for the Mullet fisherman info.
we now have fact behind the folly.)



Dad: Sorry buddy.

Son: Tell that to Olivia C.


yeah, dad, and we will C if he
will EVER go with you to get a hair cut again!

Dad: We can always go get you the wig!


Sister: He will thank you guys someday
for not letting him do that. ☺

Sorry everyone who voted yea;
we are months away from the mullet now.

And the boy's love life is on hold.

I guess that's not a bad thing, right?

PS: Quick addition....
Conversation in the car
with our 15 year old; after the fact!

him: So Dad made him get his haircut.

me: Yes, not real happy about it.

him: Yeah, I heard.

me: Dad should have let him have the mullet.

him: I don't know about that.

me: What's the harm in him having a mullet?

him: Having to look at him!


ouch! point for daD

WHICH BRINGS US TO TODAY - NOVEMBER 17, 2009!!!

A few more haircuts later Mr. B has finally come to his senses....sort of.

He told our son after the last cut that he could decide WHEN he gets his hair cut again.

That LAST haircut was about 6 months ago.

Finally Mr. B told him that he would have to start wearing barrettes to keep his bangs out of his eyes!

son's response: That's no problem Dad, can we go buy some today?

Had my daughter not taken the camera for Art Class today I would have downloaded the pictures of my boy proudly wearing a barrette.

I know I know...you want to see it to believe it. But YES, he is fashioned in a clip and proudly headed off to third grade.

Stay tuned for WORDLESS WEDNESDAY.....starring the kid wearing a barrette!

Wonderful Word

Exert your talents,
and distinguish yourself,
and don't think of retiring from the world,
until the world will be sorry that you retire.

---Samuel Johnson

Happy Friday the 13th Everyone ♥

fLaSHbaCk FrIDay

So thankful that Glen returned home from Iraq safely. I was pondering the service to our country that is so selflessly rendered and remembered sitting for nearly two-thirds of a day waiting for our family friend Glen to leave for Iraq. Every moment counted, and as weary as the day became it was worth every second being there. The many tears that flowed, families sending their loved ones into harms way, yet the feeling of love for country and for honor was far greater than the sorrows.

We saw him off that day, and were thrilled to welcome him home two years later. It was hard to believe that he was going to be gone that long, and as the time passed we found ourselves in constant prayer for his safe return. He was one of the lucky ones. He came home....alive.

As we honored veterans this week my heart was full of appreciation for all who serve their countries. Our world is so uncertain, and I am thankful for Men and Women who will stand on the front lines so that we can peacefully raise our children in this country, out of harms way.

I think we don't recognize as much as we should how blessed we are to be able to walk out our front doors every morning to freedom, to peace, to a life that we are spoiled to enjoy.

This Friday the 13th.....keep a prayer in your heart for the families of those serving, keep a prayer for the service men and women, the leaders of our nations, and ask God to help us to be on His side, that all may someday enjoy the peace that we take for granted.

Happy Friday the 13th!!!

Our Hero ♥

[photo by Mike Terry of the Deseret News]


i ♥ my grandpa

Family Friend Fred Jackson,
a veteran of Vietnam.
Also played for the Oakland Raiders!!!

Colonel James Austin, also a family friend!


World War II Veteran

Grandpa made the Front Page!!!

Click on the picture to take you to the
Deseret News article.

[photo by Mike Terry of the Deseret News]

Stand UP for Veterans!
Stand UP for Kids.!~!

Friday Faith: Humble

A while back I posted something passionate about not using my cell-phone while driving.

Last night my cell phone saved my children's life.

If you ever think that a feeling you have is not necessary to follow, think again.


I was having quite a time with my emotion yesterday. I tend to be very tender and emotional, not something that I came up with, something about myself that has recently been pointed out to me, and something that I have been since pondering about myself.


Yesterday was a beautiful day. A day of quiet reflection, of writing about healing, and hope, of documenting some of our fun family events, of finishing homework [which always gives me a feeling of relief for the week.]

...Of HUGGING one of my favorite people who made the CHOICE to get on a plane no matter what the turmoil she might feel and fly across the country so that she could share her HUGS and share her LIGHT, and share her LOVE with those of us who have been MISSING her so much. Yes, yesterday was a beautiful day!


...and then, the tears began to flow...again.

I don't know why, I don't know where they are going to come from, never WHEN they are going to come.

Oh, I could give you a THOUSAND reasons that I feel like crying, but I could also list TEN-THOUSAND blessings that should salve the wounds and lift my spirits.

But the tears...they come.

So, here I found myself last night, with my children, patiently working out their schedules and needs, some demands, and some just needing a hug or three, or wanting to give a hug and snuggle. Takes time!!! And well worth it, they are!!!


I was torn between a few things last night.

Dinner with previously mentioned special person,

...a church responsibility,

...and the needs of four little/BIG children.

Then there is MR. B...who willingly offered to lift my spirits by lending a hand and heart. "Just drop the kids off, I will run so needed errands with them, and see you when you get back from where you are going."


I took him up on it. After calling and excusing myself from a ride to one mentioned event. During the call my neighbor and dear friend could hear the tears in my shaky voice, she is like that. She could tell that all was not well.

[personal clarification: all is well, just my well is full and overflowing right now...]

She said, "...if you make it, no worries. Please take care of YOU."

Very sweet!!

And here is where the cell phone call that saved our lives comes in:

Children safely buckled into the car...

I begin the drive...it is a nice drive, a wonderful drive through our great city. The kids are loving the lights and the big buildings and talking pleasantly among themselves. The weather is amazing tonight...the car windows are down, and the boys are hanging their gloved hands out waving to people on the streets. The music was perfect for the drive, and my daughter chatted about her day, what she had planned for tomorrow, the upcoming play, the costume she needs, her last soccer game this coming Saturday....and on and on...

I am stopped at a light near the freeway entrance to our city. My phone rings and for a second I think to answer it because my oldest is not home.

I think to myself, I will just check, it could be him.

It was my friend, the one who had called about giving me a ride to the church meeting tonight.

I hesitate because I should answer it, but I can feel the tears again.

She is so sensitive to me, I don't want to cry, not here.

Not now, not while I am driving and so enjoying the moment listening to my daughter. I will call her back after I drop the kids off...


And that is when i LOOKED UP!!!

The light had changed, I hear screeching, a terrible sound, RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY EYES.... The cars next to me had already began to move through the light. A large VERY LARGE truck ran the RED LIGHT...

I am stunned...

I must have sat there for another minute, watching the man back up from the scene. Looking into his face and seeing the terror in his eyes reflecting my own feelings.

The car next to me escaped by inches by slamming on their breaks, and the car three lanes over from me was stopped and had been missed by the truck by a blessed mere inches as well. We would not have been so lucky, we would have been in the space between them all...we would have been in the inches.

I smell BURNING RUBBER through the windows that are down. I see the fear in my daughters face....I turn to look at my boys, thankful....just thankful. I see my youngest praying, already praying....already thanking God that we were okay.


He is 8 years old, he already recognized that we needed to pray .

My daughter, age 12, looks at me in terror and says, "Mommy, in my mind I saw the accident happen. We were going to be hit...the lights came right at me, and I see I am not okay. I am not okay.....Mommy...."

"It's okay honey. We are okay."



We are okay.

How humble I am to be able to say, we are all okay.
The other three cars are all startled, as we are, but we are ALL okay.


I am stunned, I am humbled. I realize that in an instant that this can be your last day. I realize that no matter what I may be feeling, how inadequate I feel to the challenges of motherhood, of being a good neighbor, daughter, sister, friend, wife....I have LIFE and living my LIFE is all that I have.


I am humble today, thankful that we were able to wake up in our own beds.

I am thankful for the phone call that I didn't answer but that caused me to hesitate pulling into that intersection, that saved the lives of my children,

...so that we may LIVE.


I had planned to head home, to read or write in my journal, watch TV, cry...., but in remembrance of the blessing that had just been bestowed upon us in that moment I headed to my church meeting.
I felt I would be ungrateful to not go.


I was duly tearful still. Even more so as I was humble to what I had experienced.

I mentioned to my friend who had called, "I am sorry that I didn't take you call right then. I was driving with the kids." I briefly told her about the near accident and thanked her for calling. I wrapped my arms around her and told her that I really believe her phone called saved us from a terrible accident.


She told me this: "I almost didn't call you. I was sitting in your driveway. I could see you were not home. I thought it was silly to call knowing you have a lot on your plate right now. I thought I should call, but then thought I really shouldn't. And then I called.

I just called, and I didn't know why

...I was feeling so strongly that I should call....."

If you EVER have a feeling that you think you should do something ....even if you think it is not necessary to follow,....or silly....., just remember what I say here. THINK AGAIN!!!

When I look at my 8 year old, my 10 year old, my daughter....and even ME, my reflection in the mirror....I am thankful that someone dear to me followed an impression, which impression caused me to hesitate, and which hesitation humbly gave me a chance to see my life and my children's lives flash before my eyes.

I don't know what the outcome would have been, I don't know if I would have missed the accident, if I would have seen the truck in time...

I don't really want to know the answer to that.

I am just thankful today....and hope that in some way I will be an instrument in someones life in the way that this experience has been instrumental in mine.....

Today I am ...humble, faithful....peaceful, thankful!

a little bit of everything...and BLeSs mE ♥

Tonight was fun!!!

Why? You ask.

Was it the jokes my youngest told us off the laffy taffy treats?

Could it have been the discovery of the boys having a photo shoot with their Karl Malone and Kobe Bryant lego trading peoples?

[It might have been when they requested
I BLOG their photo shoot....because
"mommy, you don't blog enough lately"]

Was it watching my kids eat a delicious dinner made completely from leftovers?

It definitely had something to do with how pleasant and helpful my teen son was even though he didn't get to go long board because dinner was a bit later than usual!

Was it Mr. B walking through the door a tad bit earlier than most nights?

It most certainly had something to do with the hug that my daughter got from her daddy and the tender voices as they each shared moments of their day with one another. Before I met these two I didn't know that was even something possible.


I know it was talking basketball with previously mentioned teen son and then later tucking him in and finding that even at 15 they still like it when you sing them a lullaby like you did when they fit in your arms swaddled in a blanket....same song, same I love you feeling....

[and hearing him say sweetly,
"I love you mommy"
as I walked out of his room
helped a thousand fold.
Miracle on earth!
I love you forever...I love you for always...]

Could it have been the chitter chatter of two teens, their daddy, and the boys reading together all at once?


It could have been all of these things, and yet....

...there was more to it.

I was at peace. I felt myself smiling, watching them all, enjoying the smells, the sights, the sounds, the sweet laughter, the twinkle of love in the room.

Yes. It was all of these things and more.

Tonight I listened to my youngest tell me the following jokes, and then re-tell them hoping I would have them memorized to tell daddy if he "got home to late".

Take a minute....have you heard them:

Why did the pig go into the kitchen?

It felt like bacon.




What kind of shorts do clouds wear?

thunderwear

Why was the cat afraid of the tree?

He was afraid of the bark

What did the pig put on his cut?



oinkment!!!





It had a lot to do with my discovery of the age old question...

WHY DO WE HAVE TO LEARN
SO MUCH STUFF IN SCHOOL?

WILL WE EVER USE ANY OF IT???


Truthfully the answer to this could use an entire POST,
but for now I will answer simply....YES!!!


I SMILED....
[to clone my cousin LeShel's SUnday SmILEs

...go ahead...LINK, you will be hooked!!!]

as I walked out of the boys room
after answering both of their questions

and feeling like THE
SMARTEST mommy in the
ENTIRE WORLD!!!

Simply,

Can Black Widows Kill you?




ANd, What is a swastika?

The first question... And at this time of night I used my mommy filter to answer "NO. You can get really sick, but you will not die." [okay...i lied, do you blame me]

We currently have a pet Black Widow and we had just fed it another spider that I proudly found crawling around. So...it was fresh on his mind. I was also able to have a quick prayer and opportunity to remind him that he can ask for comfort and peace and that he will rest without us having to execute our PET spider, and without me having to sleep in his little bed with him all night.



The second question came after the first....obviously. I answered that it was a symbol peace, harmony and good fortune inverted by Hitler to represent evil and black magic. You wont have to learn about that for a few more years...."now get to sleep."

"I knew that" he replied, "I just didn't know if you did."

Well, I am glad that I did, and now I have to look up the swastika because I guessed and I wonder if I was right????






Finally, and possibly the MOST important part of my fun night, came when having prayer with my baby. He thanked Heavenly Father for "a good day", I smiled....

"a happy day," I smiled bigger....

...and then he said something I hope to NEVER forget,
and to ALWAYS remember....

He asked simply with all the faith that a little child has

[which by the way is far greater than
anything I understand even to this day]...

...he asked...

"Bless me to work hard tomorrow
and to work fast
so that I can get all my recesses."

Amen.




Yes, It was a wonderful evening....
It was a beautiful day....

Tonight was FUN!

And now I lay me down to sleep,
and pray the Lord...

to

"Bless me
to work hard tomorrow
and
to work fast
so that I get
all my recesses."

---Amen

Way-back Wednesday ♥♥♥

I am not sure there is anything
about this picture
that I don't LOVE!!!

One,
look how shiny and clean
my sink is....
And the blinds in the background...
I remember when they were not
FULL of DUST!!!

The artwork on the cupboards,
pictures of loved ones on my tiles.

The taste of Winder Dairy milk!

No pile of bills on the counter.


Spiderman gloves and a Hat,
and a little winter coat!


But BEST of all,
What is wrapped inside
that cute little coat and hat,

...waiting for me to pick him up,
a smile, a bit of a laugh in his eyes,
and ready to wrap him
in my arms!!!


...love the little... LOVE a LOT!

worDleSS WeDNEsDay ♥

...on Tuesday!

I love BATS kitball!!!!!