Okay, go with me here for a minute if you would like. I am feeling very passionate about the love of my life, Mr. B!
Mr. B has been in my life since I was 20 years old. By 20 I thought I would grow old alone, never to fall in love with anyone who would fall back in love with me. I had been hurt enough by that point of my life that I was not WILLING to fall in love, in fact; by then I thought love was a hoax.
You see, before I get into what my heart wants to write today I have to confess a few things about my life. My confession comes to you with pure intent. To give you a bit of background you probably don't know about me.
I may come off as a whiner sometimes in my posting, because truly I am blessed. And I am very grateful, but I have a few problems which cloud my ability to be capable and happy. These are not your run of the mill problems. I have suffered from self induced addictions, I suffer from depression now, and not the just having a down day kind of depression, the debilitating kind. I also have anxiety, and I am a bit of a hoarder. I am afraid to throw anything away. I grew up really poor, and moved often. Actually moved at least once a year. I had lived in what some would consider stable homes until I was 9, but those homes also had trouble. The kind of trouble children recognize, and childhood is not all it is cracked up to be. I think at last count I had lived in 13 homes by the time I was 15, and at 16 I was abandoned by my mother, given up to the state by my father, and adopted into a foster home, so home #14. I consider my home now sweet 16, and being a bit OCD; and liking odd numbers, I always fear that I will lose the life I know.
But, sweet 16 is where I have spent the last 16 years of my life. My life with Mr. B.
This week I want to write the legends of Mr. B. My life with him up to now. I have been dealing with this awful depression, and he is patiently suffering with me. I think a tribute to this man is worth it's weight in words. Follow me as we go back rhetorically and laugh, cry and love him. It isn't much, but it is what I have to offer him.
Happy Valentines B.
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21 comments:
We each have our own set of struggles don't we? Recognizing what they are is 1/2 the battle!
Aww, I love Valentines thoughts, many of my bloggy friends are honoring their spouse. Couples are my passion, I truly believe the Jewish tradition that, since Adam and Eve Gods work is arranging marriages.
I look forward to your upcoming posts.
what a tribute. he's lucky to have you, you know!
Love it. We need to hear more successful love stories.
Bring it on, girl.
Mr. B. is one lucky guy !
Depression and an addiction are illnesses that take a lifetime of daily work to overcome. It is not a sin to ask for help, nor is is unheard of to want a Quality life. My heart goes out to you. My love reaches for you to support you. Know that I am there for you. Mr B. is a very lucky and wonderful Man.
I was just thinking about what a great man Mr. B is...
and then I realized that he better be to be with such a wonderful, super-fabulous, fantastic person like yourself!!!
I love you today, yesterday and tomorrow.
Cheerkick for love! I'm SOOOO in love with my "Mr. B." I'm so glad you're with someone that makes you happy. I'm excited to hear all about your special Prince Charming!
I admire you for triumphing over the difficulties in your life. And how great to have a stable, loving home now!
Beautifully written post. Your Mr. B sounds amazing and I can't wait to hear more :)
We can only get through the struggles that we admit we have. Acknowledge and move on, it won't be easy and at times will seem insurmountable but you can do it. Don't let the past be a body you drag around on your back for the rest of your life, for it will surely shorten it. With the love and help of your hubby and kids you can accomplish anything!
Having a supportive person is so important when dealing with depression. I'm glad you have someone like that. :)
You are a lucky woman!
Thank you for the Valentine. I will "wear" it proudly! :>
stacie
OH I hope you and your love find many wonderful Happy days ahead(:) and thanks so much for the sweetcomment and the Valentines~!!
hugs, Patty
I'm excited to have found you and now I get to know you through detailed angst and recovery. Amazing what we are willing to share with the internet. Looking forward to knowing you.
Awesome addiction post. I don't know if you had a chance to read my post on addiction, but LDS Family Services has an awesome program to help. I only mentioned my eating issues in my post. Kinda left out the depression and self-mutilation. Different story for a different day, I guess. ;o) You aren't alone. It sounds like you have come a long way. Awesome!
Mr. B sounds wonderful! I can't wait to hear the next tale.
You know I understand what you are going through right now, not just because of how I am doing now, but over the last 12 years..I have racked up some experience. Having a support system is the key thing, for me at least, and Mr. B is obviously your support, so it is so good you have him! He loves you a lot, that is obvious! ((HUGS))
It's nice to see people in love. I love being in love.
I'm sorry you've had such a rough life. But it sounds like Mr. B may help make up for that.
I think I've told you before but I wanted to tell you again. I've suffered from depression and anxiety for a looong time now too. I didn't really know how bad it was until I started taking meds for it. Now I feel great. My energy is great. I still have anxiety issues but I am looking into finding help for that too. Hope you get to feeling better.
Just found your site via 1 door away from heaven. What a grand site you have put together, right down to the sound track. Thanks for sharing.
Chris
happy valentines to you woman!
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