Monday, March 16, 2009



this is where i am this early monday....

i can't sleep, and i am thinking way too much...

sadness, it hits us all differently...

I saw it today, with my little one. we went to a church meeting and afterwards we were able to go through the visitors centers at a LDS temple site.

They had a tour that you could go on to

click on the picture to learn more about our church

So, we went on the tour. Part of it was about Eternal Families.

And the Family Proclamation to the World:

We were taken from room to room as parents were married, had children; the children grew up, had grandparents, ...who eventually passed away.

one of the rooms they went into the death of each grandparent.

The little girl just missed holding her grandmothers hands.

She had asked her
grandmother when she was alive "why are your hands so wrinkly".

The grandmother responded "because grandpa likes to hold them so much."

It was a beautiful expression of love...

...but then...I looked over at my little son. He was crying, tears just running down his face.

We were taken to the next room.

The Sister [women] missionaries for the church asked my children which room was their daugher said the baby room, which delighted her, and I am sure she dreams tonight of becoming a beautiful wife and mother.
It was truly a beautiful part of the tour. little boy, with tears in his eyes, said the Grandmas room

Then I took him on my lap and he sobbed as he listened to the promise that we can be together, eternally.

He whispered to me. "momma, I miss holding Grandma's hands."

Me too.

... he had openly cried as we left the visitors center,
with tissues in his hands and in his daddy's arms.
We wandered out, and onto the car.
And home.

Our home.

Where he can be at peace, and safely feel his emotion. His pain.

He misses grandma; too.

Then he asked his daddy to give him a prayer. A Priesthood Blessing. Something so wonderful about our religion.

His daddy did.

And then Lucy, our kitty. Jumped up on the chair, and literally hugged my boy. She just purred and rested her head on his shoulder, and caressed him. I know it seems impossible, but he was comforted in her affection. Thank goodness for pets. They are such a blessing to children. To give back so willingly. To help our hearts to heal. For peace and comfort. Thank you Lucy...We love you.

hey...i have been looking for signs of spring everywhere these days. i think i need to know that life surly does resurrect...and after the long cold winter there is hope of something new, renewal...and that comes with the promise of spring...the promise of resurrection...these are some of the little signs of spring...

Little Purple Pansies
words by: unknown music by: Joseph Ballantyne

Little purple pansies touched with yellow gold.
Growing in one corner of the garden old;
We are very tiny but must try, try, try
Just one spot to gladden, you and I.


In whatever corner we my chance to grow,
Whether cold or warm the wind may ever blow,
Dark the day or sunny, we must try, try, try
Just one spot to gladden, you and I.


Shadow said...

oh what a touching story. i sometimes takes a child to verbalise our own feelings...

Annette Lyon said...

That was absolutely beautiful. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

ok. you makin me cry....
but that is ok. a good cry is healthy :)

Jillene said...

What a sweet boy!! My son has a tender heart too. Thanks for sharing this beautiful story!!

"The Booga Wooga" said...

Thank you for stopping by my blog again and adding Grammy as a friend on Facebook!

We read the post about missing "grandma" and the line that stood out for Grammy is...

"He whispered to me. "momma, I miss holding Grandma's hands."

Grammy told me to ask you if you know about the song "Grandma's Hands" by Bill Withers. She said that he recorded it a long, long time ago when she was growing up.

These are the words to the song and maybe you can go to that place called the "internet" so you can hear it...


Grandma's hands clapped in church on Sunday morning. Grandma's hands played a tambourine so well. Grandma's hands used to issue out a warning. She'd say ... "Billy don't you run so fast... might fall on a piece of glass... might be snakes there in that grass."
Grandma's hands.

Grandma's hands soothed a local unwed mother. Grandma's hands used to ache sometimes and swell. Grandma's hands used to lift her face (Bill's mother) and tell her, she'd say... "Baby, Grandma understands that you really love that man. Put yourself in Jesus hands." Grandma's hands.

Grandma's hands used to hand me piece of candy. Grandma's hands picked me up each time I fell. Grandma's hands, boy, they really came in handy. She'd say... "Matty don'tcha whip that boy. What you want to spank him for? He didn't drop no apple core." But, I don't have Grandma anymore...

If I get to Heaven, I'll look for
Grandma's hands.


The song was written about his grandma and Grammy said it was a very popular song.

We know it must be very hard at times when you think about her not being here anymore but, all of you will see her again.

Mama Zen said...

That story just broke my heart! Beautiful!

Real Mom, Real Life said...

I loved this. How touching. Your son won't forget yesterday.

devri said...


Boy Mom said...

What a sweet post! My kitty growing up just couldn't stay away when I was sad, and she always knew when I was sad. She'd scratch meow, purr, at my bedroom door until she got in then she'd nuzzle my head and purr until I stopped crying. If only I had her now for the real hurts that go so far beyond teenage trauma.

Grandmas, nuff said...I actually miss my husbands grandma terribly.

That Girl in Brazil said...

This is the definition of a feel-good post.

Thank you.

Heatherlyn said...

I love the early signs of spring too. It always makes me think of the resurrection.

That was such a lovely post. I really enjoyed it.

on marriage

'Will you, um, marry me?' I haven't seen you in weeks! You don't look happy or excited about the prospect of our marriage! You're asking me to give up my - my freedom, my joie de vivre for an institution that fails as often as it succeeds? And why should I marry you anyway? I mean, why do you wanna marry me? Besides some bourgeois desire to fulfill an ideal that society embeds in us from an early age to promote a consumer capitalist agenda?